Subj: Re: Show 130 ("The Journal") Outline Notes
Date: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 7:31:02 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
Here are my notes on the Ep130 outline.
1.) Re: the following:
"Donatello: “It’s a journal. There’s a name scribbled on it… it says Casey!”"
As a nod to continuity -- and because I don't think even Casey would inscribe his journal with just his first name -- why don't we have it read his full name -- "Arnold Casey Jones"?
2.) Re: the following:
"Don looks the first few pages of the journal over more carefully and sees that it includes entries about their adventures in the 21st Century.
Donatello: “It includes entries about our adventures here in the future. <beat> Huh.”
Leonardo: “What do you mean ‘huh’?”
Upon continuous inspection Don realizes that it continues to chronicle their lives AFTER they went through time. He quickly shuts the book!
Donatello: “Guys – this book contains our entire future history, even after we return home!” "
Just to clarify -- what this journal can possibly contain (if we assume that Casey is the only one who wrote in it) is tales of the Turtles' lives AFTER they returned from their trip to the future but ONLY for as long as Casey was alive thereafter.
Also, I still think it would be best -- for this first glimpse into the REAL journal -- to only IMPLY that the journal might contain information about how and when the Turtles came back to their original timeline. (It's simple to do -- if Don sees that there are entries dated AFTER they vanished and went to the future, then whatever comes AFTER that must -- or would very likely -- contain information about their future after they came back to their original time. After all, given the existence of Donatellium (the metal that Don created SOMETIME after they went into the future but at some time in the past), we already KNOW that at least Don made it back to the past.) Then, in the FAKE duplicate journal that Splinter and Cody create, the explicit stuff about how and when the Turtles return could be laid out... but as we find out in the end of this episode that all that stuff is phony, we would still keep unrevealed the TRUE story of how the Turtles returned from the future... which I think would be a good idea.
3.) Re: the following:
"One night, Don has trouble sleeping. He decides that he can’t take it any more. He slips out of bed and sneaks into the Trophy Room. In the dark, he opens the footlocker. Just as he reaches for the journal Leo turns on the light – revealing Raph on the ceiling and Mikey coming in the window, both caught in the act of stealing the book for themselves."
What WINDOWS are there in the trophy room that Mikey could enter through? Maybe something a little more sensible (and funnier) would be to have him sneaking in disguised as a box of comics or a footstool or something.
4.) Re: the following:
"And they DO have the coolest, craziest, wildest time ever, defeating the BOOMTOWN RATS and dismantling their RODENT PLAGUE BOMB and saving New York from a vermin disease-infested future! "
Is "BOOMTOWN RATS" the name of an actual musical group -- and if so, should we use it? Maybe "DOOMtown Rats" might be better.
-- Pete
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Subj: Re: New Premise flying in!
Date: Friday, October 21, 2005 1:34:40 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
In a message dated 10/21/05 2:12:14 AM, Lloyd writes:
Hey Pete -
We've decided to scrap the whole shrinking/nanobots story as per your
notes.
Try this replacement premise on for size:
VATARIAL COMBAT
Rumors have begun to spread throughout the gaming world of a newer
bigger badder GAME CONSOLE - The GAMINATOR - the ultimate gaming
experience. When Mikey goes on about how cool it's going to be, even his
brothers can't help but get excited. So Cody pulls some strings and gets
his hand on a supposed "beta Test model." However, when the Guys strap
in and turn the machine on, a blast of energy erupts out of the computer
system, digitizes the Turtles and pulls them into the mainframe! IT'S A
TRAP!
They find that the system has indeed been hacked – by Viral! She planted
the Gaminator rumors and built the module herself, to bring the Turtles
in to defeat them on her own turf. (This is an attempt to please her
master, Sh'Okanabo!) To accomplish this she's designed four monstrous
Avatars to challenge the Turtles in digital gladiatorial combat. The
Turtles are at a definite disadvatage here because Viral can control not
only her Avatars – but the entire dimension and landscape that the
Turtles are fighting in. While the Turtles are fighting – and losing –
Cody and Starlee are watching what's going on on their computer
monitors. They have to hack into the game system to level the playing
field and give the Turtles a fighting chance.
Lemme know thumbs up or thumbs down!
Hope all is well.
Lloyd"
Lloyd,
This plot seems much more palatable than the nanobot one. I think it could work! Here are a few comments:
1.) If Viral's machine can "digitize" the Turtles (i.e. break them into nanoscale components or information a la STAR TREK's transporter), that's all she needs to do to destroy them. Therefore, I think the fact that she and her avatars battle with the Turtles inside this game is due to the fact that Viral doesn't just want to eliiminate the Turtles as a threat to Sh'Okonabo, but that she wants REVENGE on them... and this "fun" that she indulges in will turn out to be her "Achilles Heel" (it's what gives the Turtles a fighting chance) -- she should have just "deleted their file" when she had the opportunity!
2.) It might be fun if, when Cody and Starlee try to hack in and help the Turtles, they digitize SERLING and send him in to be their ally (and of course, hijinks ensue!).
3.) Where is Splinter in all this?
4.) Another fun thing to do if Cody and Starlee digitize themselves to help the Turtles, they might show up inside the game as avatars which look like Casey Jones and April O'Neil!
5.) I'm thinking that this game should be sizeable -- much bigger than something like a PS2 console, maybe the size of a phonebooth or something -- basically because I think the hardware required to digitize all four Turtles should not be something which could be carried around easily. (That could open up a whole can of worms.)
-- Pete
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