Blast from the Past #499: September 23, 2005: Re: Show 126 ("Fly Me to the Moon") Outline; September 25, 2005: Re: TMNT 131 ("The Gaminator") Premise and Re: Show 127 ("Invasion of the Body Snatcher!") Outline

Subj: Re: Show 126 ("Fly Me to the Moon") Outline
Date: Friday, September 23, 2005 3:02:07 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Lloyd,


Here are my notes on the Ep126 outline. It's a lot better than it was in premise form, but still needs work.


1.) Re: the following:

"In a lab at O’Neil Tech, CODY, STARLEE and DONATELLO are using the TRANSCENDENTAL LATHE to create a new part for the Time Window.  Like a scene straight out of a mad scientist’s lab, they dramatically throw switches and adjust the power.  However, the component that they’re trying to make is unstable and it ends up EXPLODING.  Donny heroically shields Cody and Starlee.


As Cody and Starlee are picking up the pieces, MICHAELANGELO, RAPHAEL and LEONARDO enter.  Looking around at the mess, Mikey says, “Whoa, must’ve been some party!”  Donny explains that the component needs to be made of a low-density alloy.  “Like Donatellium,” pipes in Cody.  What?  Donny reacts as Cody explains that DONATELLIUM is an alloy that Donny invented that can only be created in a natural low gravity environment, like on the moon.  "

There's something not quite right here. It strikes me that a gizmo like the "Transcendental Lathe" would not be designed so it could produce "unstable" parts that can end up "exploding". This feels like "Lost in Space" science. I think it might be more logical if they were designing a component to be included in some kind of invention which perhaps fails dramatically when they stress-test it. (Not sure if the Time Window  is the best choice here -- maybe they're trying to make something that will enhance the capabilities of Cody's Combat Turtle Armor.)


As for "Donatellium", even though it can "only be created in a natural low gravity environment, like on the moon", why isn't there already a stock of it on Earth? I mean, if it's a useful material, I would think that it would be in production, even if you have to make it on the moon. Seems like a weak rationale for our gang going to the moon. It MIGHT make more sense if:


(a) Donatellium's strength is highly dependent on how well "tuned" the process of creating it is, and Don wants to make a new batch under his exacting specs, or


(b) the creation of the alloy Donatellium depends on an element (which we should probably give a name to also) found only on the moon -- and Don thinks it might be best if he oversees the process from start (i.e. mining the stuff in question on the moon) to finish, to get the best result.


2.) I just thought of this -- not exactly related to this story, but inspired by the setting: What if while the Turtles are on the moon or some other planet in our solar system (in a future episode), they discover some relic of the Triceraton invasion of Earth? Maybe a crashed ship (where the survivors, who are out of contact with their comrades due to some kind of technobabble/natural interference phenomenon, have created their own society), or some stasis capsule/escape pod containing some Triceraton warriors who think the war is still on when they are woken up?


3.) Re: the following:

" Raph is a little leery about getting onto the ship because he gets motion sick in space, but Mikey shames him into it by taunting him with the Raph hand puppet.  "

Is this something new, or have we established this in past episodes? I don't remember Raph having this weakness.


4.) Re: the following:

"With their ship badly damaged, they are unable to outrun the other shuttle.  It disables their thrusters, then closes in and captures their ship.  


Cody and the Turtles helplessly watch as their unseen enemies cut open the hatch.  




ACT TWO:


The Inuwashi Gunjin dramatically board Cody’s shuttle.  The power has been cut and the lights flicker eerily as they scour the ship.  Calling out, they demand that the Turtles turn the boy over to them.  


In the dark, Leo, Raph and Mikey stealthily attack and retreat, taking advantage of the zero gravity and the cramped space which makes it difficult for the Gunjin to strike back.  But the Turtles quickly realize that they are not going to win in this setting.  They stall for time while Donny and Cody activate the ship’s auto-destruct mechanism.  Then, they all race for the ESCAPE POD.  


At the last second, the Gunjin realize what the Turtles have done.  They are able to retreat to safety just before the shuttle EXPLODES!  "

So is there breathable atmosphere in space now? How is it that the Turtles and Cody have no problems breathing and not dying of the intense cold and/or explosive decompression once the Gunshin cut a big hole in their shuttle while they're in space?


And for the life of me, I can't imagine why Cody's shuttle has an "auto-destruct mechanism"! What is up with THAT? Seems completely unrealistic. If we want a dramatic explosion of the shuttle, there are many other ways to accomplish that, the simplest being that the Gunshins' attack damaged some systems on the shuttle (fuel lines? reactor cooling system?) which led to an explosion.


5.) Re: the following:

"Cody gives the Turtles each a PERSONAL FORCE FIELD which will temporarily protect them.  By creating an “atmosphere envelope” around them, it works like an electronic life vest for space. "

Thank God the kid had them in his travel bag! Seriously, this is a little goofy. I think these "personal force fields" should just be standard issue survival gear onboard the shuttle and/or this "pod" they've landed in.


Also, I think it's very important to stress the TEMPORARY and LIMITED nature of these devices, so as to up the anxiety quotient: Will they get to a safe place before the power in these things runs out? I also think that there should be some kind of device incorporated into them which uses some kind of element (or elements which combine) to create a stream of breathable atmosphere for x number of minutes or hours, as whatever atmosphere could be contained within the force field "envelope" would be used up pretty quickly (unless that "envelope" was the size of a Goodyear blimp).


6.) Re: the following:

"A short time later, the Gunjin hear ECHOING VOICES up ahead in an UNDERGROUND CAVERN.  Then, they spot the shadow of an unsuspecting Turtle.  Without hesitating, they attack.  But when they pounce on the figure, they are surprised to discover that it’s just Mikey’s hand puppet.  It’s a trap!  The Turtles attack them from behind, and there’s a BIG OL’ FIGHT!"


The silliness of the Gunjin -- skilled and savvy warriors -- being fooled by the shadow of a hand puppet (!) makes me a little nervous. This needs to be boarded VERY skillfully, or it will be DUMB.


7.) Re: the following:

"The fight becomes so intense that the ceiling of the cavern CRACKS and COLLAPSES.  Unfortunately, the cavern is underneath the moonbase’s artificial sea, and water begins to cascade in.  As the floods rise, Cody is washed away!"

As far as I can tell, the Turtles and the Gunshin are only fighting hand-to-hand. How is it that the battle then reaches the point of cracking the moon rock on which the base is built?
It might be a good idea to ask someone who would know what exactly would happen if this large volume of water was released into the open on the moon. Would it freeze? Evaporate?


8.) Re: the following:

"Working together, they are able to free Cody.  Then, the Gunjin nobly hold back the floodwaters while the Turtles take Cody to safety.  Donny tries to argue, but the Gunjin insist that it’s better to end it this way.  Reluctantly, the Turtles leave the now-heroic Gunjin behind.  "

What the -- ?! "The Gunjin nobly hold back the floodwaters.." How the heck do they do THAT?! Seems preposterous.


9.) Re: the following:

"Back on the moon, Cody and the soggy Turtles climb out of a manhole cover.  Having safely reached the moonbase, they collapse in exhaustion. "

The moon base... has MANHOLES? Groan. How about they reach an emergency AIRLOCK and climb out of THAT, instead?


10.) I think we need to know if the Gunjin are able to exist/fight in the vacuum of space AS IS, or if they need extra, special gear, such as something like the "force field suits" the Turtles and Cody sport.


11.) Re: the following:

"They watch as the Turtle reach a STEAM VENT outside the perimeter of the moonbase and go underground.  The Gunjin land their ship and follow.  


UNDERGROUND, the Turtles discover an ICE-COATED TUNNEL which has thin air and is really, really cold.  “I’m freezin’ my shell off here,” Raph complains.  Mikey holds the puppet up behind his back and silently mocks him.  Raph turns and glares at him.  The tunnels are part of the terraforming ventilation system that services the moonbase."

It would be very unlikely that a moonbase would waste the energy in steam like this, or that they would use these huge, "ice-coated tunnels" as part of a "ventilation system" (??!!). 


-- Pete

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Subj: Re: TMNT 131 ("The Gaminator") Premise
Date: Sunday, September 25, 2005 1:30:21 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,


Here are my notes on Ep131 premise


The main problem -- as I see it -- with this premise is the nature of the  threat, the "nanobots" which aren't really nanobots -- they're full-sized robots shrunken to the size of nanobots, through some nearly-magical technology which not only allows THEM to shrink and/or enlarge to normal size in the blink of an eye, but Torbin Zixx as well (and then the Turtles, too). I feel that the introduction of this kind of "magic tech" into our future world is a BIG mistake (no pun intended) as it opens up a HUGE can of worms (again, no pun intended). For example: In this premise, there is a scene where Torbin Zixx suddenly enlarges himself (and his hoverbike!) to his normal size and confronts the Turtles. They then proceed to fight and disarm him. The obvious question here is -- why doesn't Torbin Zixx use the "instant shrinking tech" to shrink himself down to nano size again so the Turtles have no hope of even seeing him?


There is a nugget of an interesting story here, but I think it has to be made significantly more logical and less silly. To begin with, there is no point to shrinking a big robot to the size of a nanobot -- as we all know, materials work differently at nanoscale than they do at normal scale, so a robot designed to work at full size could cease to function -- or malfunction -- when shrunken down to nanoscale. And remember -- we're one hundred years in the future here. Scientists TODAY have already made huge strides towards making nanoscale machines, so it would make total sense that in 100 years they would have this technology down.


While the "tiny things in my body might suddenly enlarge at any time!" jeopardy has merit, it is also a blatant rip of the main plot device of "Fantastic Voyage", and for that reason alone we should steer clear of it.


While I won't claim that my "NanoTurtlebots" storyline in several issues of the TMNT Vol.4 comic is the best "nano" idea going, I think something like that -- where we don't have a "shrinking" ray thing, but a "virtual telepresence" tech that allows our heroes to operate at the nanoscale -- is more palatable than what is in this premise currently. It would also give us some nifty new toy designs for Playmates to make.


Something just popped into my head, and while I'm not sure if it makes ANY sense to even consider, I'll throw it out there: Could our old pal "Nano" have anything to do with this scenario? I believe the last time we saw him, he had become a member of the "Justice Force" -- could he have survived into this future?


1.) Re: the following:

"A food vendor cart.  True to Mikey's word, the Turtles and Cody have eaten everything off the cart.  Their stomachs are extended and they are exhausted.  Actually, they haven't eaten everything.  The ALIEN VENDOR pulls something out of a drawer, something that resembles a jelly donut."

There is no reason, other than dumb-ass silly slapstick, for the Turtles and Cody to have "eaten everything off the cart". And the less said about "their stomachs are extended", the better.


2.) Re: the following:

"DON: Would you rather have your shoulder feel better or explode?


MIKEY: Can’t I do both?"

Mikey's line makes NO sense whatsoever. Come to think of it, neither does Don's -- he should really be saying something like "Would you rather have your shoulder feel better, or NOT explode?"


3.) Re: the following:

"Starlee ends up injecting him in his backside, which the tiny turtles are not happy about.


LEO: This is one universe I never wanted to explore."

Groan...


4.) Re: the following:

"LEO:  What’s that gurgling green stuff?


DON: That’s his stomach bile.  Don’t touch it.  It’s like acid.


LEO: Well that’s sounds like a bile of fun.  "

"A bile of fun..."? What the heck...?


5.) Re: the following:

" The Turtles end up in Mikey’s nose.


LEO: Things just keep getting worse."

Why is being in Mikey's nose worse than being in his stomach? I don't get it.


6.) Re: the following:

"The Turtles are now all back to normal size, and the Nanobots are now out of Mikey.  But where have they gone?  Torbin checks his tracking device – now they’re in him!  He gets on his bike and zooms off to try to get help to get them out of there…


When the ‘Bots EXPAND suddenly, SQUOOSHING him unceremoniously. (They were on, not in him!)"

That's some lame tracking device Torbin has there, huh?


7.) Re: the following:

"In a quick sequence, we see Don, Raph, and Leo don special high tech suits and helmets.  They press buttons on the suits, and they shrink down to tiny size.  Starlee explains that the shrink suits are experimental, and like the Nanobots, they too will expand to normal size in a matter of hours."

The implication here is that these "experimental" shrink suits are only to be found -- in VERY limited numbers -- at O'Neil Tech. So where did Torbin Zixx get his shrinking tech?


-- Pete

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Subj: Re: Show 127 ("Invasion of the Body Snatcher!") Outline
Date: Sunday, September 25, 2005 2:14:49 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,


Here are my notes on the Ep127 outline.


1.) Re: the following:

"Don goes over etiquette with Raph, reminding him to keep his pinkies up…Raph reminds Don they have no pinkies!"

Don wouldn't say something so dopey... but Mikey might.


2.) Re: the following:


"(JH) “BRITTANY”:  He explains how the ORB lets him transmit his brainwaves into another body.  It’s taken him years to get the tech right. It’s very delicate! He can jump from body to body, for a little while, at least! “Just look after my body while I’m gone!”"

I still think it is a big mistake to say or even imply that Jammerhead was able to make this himself -- it's just TOO powerful a technology which, even if Jammerhead is defeated in this episode, he can bring back in his next appearance, and the one after that, and so on. As I mentioned in my notes on the premise for this episode:


" One idea that just occurred to me -- maybe the gizmo is NOT something Jammerhead created himself, but instead is an ancient artifact of proscribed alien technology, banned on all systems which are part of the Galactic Alliance... and Jammerhead managed to procure it through his many nefarious channels. (Maybe this is the last one known to exist in the galaxy.) And the artifact/weapon/gizmo could be a well-worn one which only has a limited number of uses left in it (the number being whatever we deem it for the purposes of this episode).
     This would actually solve ANOTHER thing about this story that bothered me -- which is that if Jammerhead DID invent this thing, then even if he is defeated in this episode and the device is destroyed, then he could just later on make a new one, then another, and so on... and I don't think we want to go there."


3.) Just had this thought -- it might be cool if, sometime during this gala at O'Neil Tech, we briefly see a portrait -- either a painting, or a photo, or a hologram, or a sculpture -- of the founders: April and Casey. Could be a nice moment.


4.) Re: the following:

"AT THE “RESTRICTED ACCESS ELEVATORS” – (JH) Darius is feet away from his goal when CODY stops him, looking for his friends.


(JH) “DARIUS” (exasperated):  And who the devil are you?


CODY:  Uh, Cody—your nephew?"


Does it really make much sense that Jammerhead wouldn't recognize the owner of O'Neil Tech?


5.) Re: the following:

"As he passes various computers and gizmos, he periodically accesses the equipment, downloading blueprints, programs, etc. back into…


THE VAN – Where DATA streams into his PERSONAL HARD DRIVE in his brain. He drools, “Mmmmm… Data…” "

Possible problem: Remember, Jammerhead is not in his body, with all of his tech gizmos and cyber implants and whatnot -- he's in DARIUS' body. How, then, does this data get downloaded into Jammerhead's "PERSONAL HARD DRIVE in his brain"... and further, if Jammerhead's MIND is currently occupying Darius' body, HOW can Jammerhead drool “Mmmmm… Data…”?


6.) Re: the following:

"IN THE LAB – (JH) Darius gets to the end of the room and sees a heavily reinforced door, seemingly impenetrable.  He says to himself, let’s see if this is voice-activated as well.  “Money, money, money!” he says.  The door slides open wide revealing…  “JACKPOT.”"

I don't get this. Is the writer saying that "Money, money, money!" is the "Open Sesame!" for this "heavily reinforced door"? Or is it Darius' voice, saying ANYTHING? Or both? If BOTH, how does Jammerhead know that "Money, money, money!" is the magic phrase?


7.) Re: the following:

"Raph sees his opportunity.  He tosses one of his explosive sias so that it explodes right in front of “Darius.”  "

Huh? "Explosive sais"...?!


8.) Re: the following:

"In a moment of luck, (JH) Darius grabs CODY, but only for an instant before the Turtles coordinate an effort—a flip, a body swing, and a head-butt charge (Raph, of course) which, combined, frees Cody and topples the battlesuit down the stairwell!"

That's either one BIG stairwell or one SMALL Battlesuit!


9.) Re: the following:

"Bang, bang, bang, smack!  Bang, bang, bang, smack!  It topples down three or four flights of stairs. "

Unless they make "flights of stairs" differently in the future, that means that as the damaged battlesuit fell down the stairs, it turned around three corners as it did so!


10.) Re: the following:

"The guys cut open the doors of the next elevator bank and “take the express!” They LEAP!!!  As they get close to splatsville, LEO AND RAPH dig their weapons into the shaft wall, slowing their descent while Don and Mikey hang on to them."

This kind of action is LAME.


11.) Re: the following:

" Panting and wheezing, the Turtles come out of the emergency door of the stairwell."

"Panting and wheezing"...? Why?


12.) Re: the following:

"LEO:  Where is he?  Split up!  Find him!


MIKEY:  I see him, he’s jacked into Jasmine!


Mikey goes into a diving leap and tackles Jasmine, landing on top of her.  Jasmine is incensed!  Would somebody get this slimy thing off me?  Leo asks Mikey if he actually saw Cody jack into Jasmine.


MIKEY:  Well, no.  But that’s what I would do."

Appallingly bad.


13.) Re: the following:

"During this final skirmish, the guys take down the Street Phantoms with ease, and manage to keep (JH) Splinter from reaching his body. "

WHY do they do this? Do they WANT Jammerhead to stay in control of Splinter? Makes no sense.


14.) Re: the following:

"Leo (JH) freaks, and in an instant, Don whirls on him, ZAPPING him with a shock from his Bo Staff! The BODYJACKER falls from Leo, SHATTERING on the ground as--"

Huh? All through this episode we've seen the "bodyjacker" as some kind of energy thing which passes from one host to the next. Now it's a fragile object?


-- Pete