Friday, February 24, 2012

Blast from the Past #478: July 29, 2005: Re: TMNT 2105 - B/W Model, July 31, 2005: concept models, and July 31, 2005: Re: 118 ("Future Shellshock") foist draft

Subj: Re: TMNT 2105 - B/W Model
Date: Friday, July 29, 2005 12:50:35 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Re: the following:

serling.jpg -- nice drawing, and a fun-looking robot, but not at all what I was expecting Serling to look like -- this thing looks like a war robot or a wrestler. How's it going to fit into the driver's seat of the limo... or through doors? WAY too bulky.

serlingw?cody.jpg -- This one is pretty messy and hard to make out what is going on, exactly -- but if I squint it LOOKS to me like there is some very bizarre idea that Cody can get inside the robot Serling's body...? What's up with that?

-- Pete


Subj: concept models
Date: Sunday, July 31, 2005 9:35:46 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


It's kind of difficult ot comment accurately on models which I know nothing about (which is about half or more of these), but I'll give it a try.

Re: the following

WristGauntlet3rev.jpg -- kind of cool, but I have no idea what it is for

BishopArmor.jpg, BishopNanoArmor.jpg -- Are these two versions of the same armor? Is this some kind of "transforming" thing for Bishop? Would be nice to know.

InuwashiGunjin1.jpg -- Cool!

PresBishop1Revised.jpg -- Looks okay.

DarkDonRevised2.jpg, DarkLeo.jpg, DarkMikey.jpg, DarkRaph.jpg -- Not really sure what is up with these "Dark" Turtles, but I don't like any of them. 

Serling#1.jpg -- Much more believable as a butler robot. This is more in line with how I was envisioning Serling. The giant-torso version may have some use at some point, however. Maybe that could represent an earlier version of Serling (Serling 1.0) which Cody set aside when this version (2.0? 3.0? 4.0?) was created.

hovershell#2.jpg -- Cool!

FutureLeo1.jpg -- Sorry -- but this look still says "recuperating from injuries" to me. I think it's because there seems to be no rhyme or reason to the look and/or placement of the various pieces.

Viral4.jpg -- both of these look okay (though if asked to choose I would go with the one on the left), though I'm not sure if they are meant to represent Viral in the virtual world (i.e. as the program that he is) or some kind of physical version. 

hovershell#1.jpg -- Cool!

Splinter2Revised.jpg -- Eh... kind of boring. "Futuristic" robe-looking thing. Doesn't look like something Splinter would wear. No spirituality to it.

splinterwalkingstick.jpg -- not horrible looking, but not great either. And what's up with the two-position handle? Seems silly -- does it do anything other than make the walking stick a few inches longer?

nunchuk.jpg -- Same problems as with sais.

sais.jpg -- Eh... still not too exciting. And still looking too ornate and fussy. Might be nice if whatever look we come up with has the outward-pointing tips for the side prongs as in the classic sai.

bo.jpg -- of these three, the lowest is least objectionable, as it at least has some elegance the others sorely lack.

katanas.jpg -- Of these three, the bottom one is least objectionable. But I would make the blade guard (above the hilt) more symmetrical.

shellspeeder4.jpg -- Cool!

bigwheel5.jpg -- Don't know what the hell it is, but it looks cool.

-- Pete


Subj: Re: 118  ("Future Shellshock") foist draft
Date: Sunday, July 31, 2005 11:58:16 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/31/05 4:22:50 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –

 Just a reminder, we’re looking for your notes on 118 script as soon as possible.

 Also, FYI, after Monday I will be out of town for the rest of the week.  I have to travel to England on behalf of some other 4Kids business, but hopefully I will be able to access my e-mail.  We return late Friday.

 Hope yer havin’ a nice weekend…



Here are my notes on the 118 first draft.

1.) Re: the following:

Where's our masks? And our WEAPONS?! I feel totally naked here!
REVEAL SPLINTER - His robe and walking stick are gone.
Speak for yourselves, my sons."

Splinter's line is kind of lame and unnecessary. And why is he referring to all of the Turtles when it was just Raph who talked about being naked? It also doesn't make any sense -- if Raph were naked but Splinter clothed, THEN it would make sense. But they're both naked!

2.) Reading this, a thought occurred to me -- if Cody is such a big fan of and knows so much about the Turtles, AND he obviously knows this used to be their lair (he is using his "time window"on them, after all) -- wouldn't he have previously EMPTIED the lair of any objects of significance? If so, maybe that should be reflected in the state of the lair, i.e. it is mostly empty of artifacts.

3.) Re: the following:

Splinter and the Turtles trudge through the tunnel, <HUFFING AND PUFFING>, their movements slow and lumbering.
Is it... just me... or is it... really hard... to breathe... all of a sudden?
And why does... my body... feel like it... weighs a ton?
Prob'ly from all that... junk food.
The Turtles and Splinter arrive at the surface access (not sure where this is), THEIR FACES SUDDENLY BATHED IN LIGHT, reacting in open-mouthed shock to what they see outside. "

It seems really weird that this happens in a TUNNEL (and what's up with this "access tunnel", anyway? If it's something new that was added AFTER they were taken from the lair by the time window, why don't they comment on it? And do they really NEED a tunnel to get into/out of their lair? I can't remember the layout too clearly. And how much of Central Park has survived into the future?) ... and then isn't referenced again for several pages. And then there's THIS weird line a few pages later:

Worse than it was on the ground..."

Weird because when it happened to them before, they weren't ON the ground, they were UNDER the ground. I think the introduction to our atmosphere/gravity zones concept needs to be handled better.

4.) Re: the following:

Guys? I know it's a cliche, but I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

That is a cliche, and one of the most egregiously over-used in the world. We don't need it. Let's lose it, and not have anything there, or think up a better expression.

5.) In the scene where Mike jumps onto the flatbed with the Triiceratons, it's unclear whether they notice him jumping on or not.

6.) Re: the following:

"NEW ANGLE - Leaping from Hovercar to Hovercar, the Turtles and Splinter pass a FLOATING SIGN with unreadable alien writing. After they pass, the sign turns to English and reads:

It seems odd to have a measurement of GRAVITY be "3 atmospheres" (especially when "atmospheres" is a measure of AIR PRESSURE in our present. It is also more than a a little confusing when we are dealing with our new concept of different gravity and atmosphere zones... why conflate the two?

7.) Re: the following:

"ON TURTLES AND SPLINTER - on their hands and knees, weighted down by gravity and breathlessness, barely able to move, while Splinter seems to be unaffected by it all."

Okay... why is Splinter not affected? Seems weird and illogical.

8.) Re: the following:

Use your Ninja training, my sons. Control your breathing. Adapt your bodies to your surroundings.
Slowly, Leo, Don and Raph, <BREATHE EASIER> rising to their feet (Biggles still prattling on in b.g.)."

Okay, so now they can use ninja techniques to breathe different atmospheres and defy gravity? I don't think so.

9.) Re: the following:

"REVERSE - A 14-year-old kid stands framed in the doorway, eyes wide with awe.
You're a lot taller than I imagined... greener too.
SPLINTER AND THE TURTLES - jump off Serling and rush to Cody."

Why do they "rush to Cody"?

10.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO - looks past Cody into the Penthouse, eyes wide and jaw dropping at what he sees.
And what the heck is THAT?

REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL - A SHRINE TO THE TURTLES! Wall to wall bits of memorabilia, old newspaper clippings, the TCRI canister, a Shredder helmet, even the Turtles' masks. And at the center of it all... CASEY JONES' HOCKEY MASK, GOLF BAG, BATS, HOCKEY STICK, ETC. The Turtles and Splinter enter, shocked and awed."

If this IS indeed the layout that we pan to use, then I have to raise my question once more (the one that I posed in a previous email) -- does Darius know about Cody's TMNT collection? It seems like it's pretty obvious, like anyone who enters the penthouse would just see it (like Don does here), and doesn't it make sense that Darius would have been in Cody's penthouse any number of times?

11.) Re: the following:

"He crabs Cody by the color, lifting him off the floor."

I think that should be:

"He grabs Cody by the collar, lifting him off the floor."

12.) Re: the following:

Please... don't be mad... I-it's mine. It belonged to me great grandparents!"

"ME great grandparents"...?

13.) Re: the following:

Sorry. My great grandfather's journal didn't have any pictures of you guys. "

WHAT???!!! All this stuff, and he doesn't have ONE PICTURE OF THEM???!! Just totally, ridiculously silly.( And wasn't he just looking at them through the FREAKIN' TIME WINDOW???!!!)
If we want to do a gag where Cody can't tell them apart, just do the obvious one -- it really IS hard (even for us!) to tell the Turtles apart when they are "naked".

14.) Re: the following:

Sorry. Y'know, you guys should have, like, color coded masks or something. "

Another totally silly bit. See point 13 above. (And didn't we already see a page or so ago that Cody has the Turtles' colored masks IN HIS FREAKIN' COLLECTION???!!!)

15.) Re: the following:

"REVEAL THE TIME WINDOW - an impressive array of machinery.
A time machine?
CLOSE ON CODY - As he fiddles with controls, an IMAGE OF THE TURTLES' LAIR (as it is in 2105) appears on a monitor.
Actually, a time WINDOW. It was only supposed to VIEW the past. The time TRAVEL part was an accident. One that I have no idea how to recreate, Mikey.
WIDEN TO REVEAL - Cody's looking at Leo, who's pretty miffed.
STILL Leo. And does that mean we're stuck here in the future? "

Sigh... this makes it the THIRD time Cody has made the same STUPID mistake. THIS is the brilliant inventor of a time window? Shouldn't he have started to recognize Leo's VOICE by now?

16.) Re: the following:

Unfortunately, yes.
(beat, realizing)
Say, where IS Mikey?
RAPHAEL - <CLONKS> Serling on the back of the head.
We lost him! That's what we been tryin' ta tell yer walkin' toaster here.
CODY - rushes to the exit.
Then we need to find him before he causes too much trouble!
SERLING - <WHIRS> over and blocks Cody's path.
Now, master. You KNOW you're not allowed to leave the house. "

Cody's words ("we need to find him before he causes too much trouble!") and his actions (rushing to the exit) are very weird. Why is Cody so worried about Mikey "causing too much trouble"? Wouldn't he be more likely worried that Mikey would GET into trouble that he doesn't himself CAUSE, simply because he's in a future he knows little or nothing about? And I thought Cody didn't go outside because he was scared/timid/agoraphobic, not because he wasn't ALLOWED to. How does his immediately "rushing to the exit" fit with that?

17.) Re: the following:

(explaining to Turtles/Splinter)
Master Jones is the owner of O'Neil Tech, the premiere manufacturer of terran technologies on this or any planet. The outside world is far too dangerous place for him. "

As we discussed in previous emails, O'Neil Tech is NOT "the premiere manufacturer of terran technologies on this or any planet".

18.) Re: the following:

"CODY - examines the readout more closely, reacting disappointed.
Bad news. You only have ten minutes before it closes up permanently. "

How does Cody know this? Isn't it already clear that Cody was as surprised as anyone by the opening of the time portal? How, then, does he know so much so definitively about how it works? This could be fixed easily, as follows:

"CODY - examines the readout more closely, reacting disappointed.
Bad news. You only have ten minutes before it closes up -- maybe permanently this time! "

19.) Re: the following:

"The Turtles and Splinter scramble into the vehicle. Cody is about to pile in after them when Serling steps in his way.
Surely you're not thinking of going with them, Master?
Cody wriggles past Serling and inside the Speeder.
I wouldn't miss this for the world."

Again, what is up with Cody? Is he a kid who WANTS to go outside but is held back, or is he SCARED to go outside most of the time? I thought from our previous discussions it was the latter, but this makes it seem like the former.

20.) Re: the following:

"DONNIE - <REVS UP THE ENGINE> and puts it in gear.
I'm assuming this thing drives just like the BattleShell."

The BattleShell, as far as I can recall, didn't FLY. Maybe this could be enhanced as follows:

"DONNIE - <REVS UP THE ENGINE> and puts it in gear.
I'm assuming this thing drives just like the BattleShell.
(beat) Except for the flying part."

21.) Re: the following:

Sorry, Darius, you're breaking up.
(calling back to Turtles)
And what's with the disappearing act?
The Turtles and Splinter pull themselves out of the shadows.
Sorry. Force of habit."

So Cody knows all about them... but he doesn't know about their "ninja hiding" thing?

22.) Re: the following:

"LEO, RAPH, DON AND SPLINTER - leap at the Street Phantoms, who TURN INTANGIBLE, causing our heroes to phase right through them and <CRASH> hard into the wall behind them.
Oh yeah. Prob'ly shoulda mentioned they can do that."

And why should Mikey have mentioned that? As far as I can tell, he's NEVER SEEN THEM DO IT BEFORE!!!

23.) Re: the following:

Oh man! They need help!
(beat realizing)
How can they need help? I thought they were invincible."

Why would Cody think the Turtles were "invincible"?

24.) Re: the following:

"DON AND A STREET PHANTOM - circle one another, each one feinting, but not attacking (they've both wised up by this point). Suddenly another Phantom PHASES up from the ground behind Don and TURNS SOLID. Thinking fast, Don leaps up and grabs onto an overhang (fire escape?), as the two Phantoms leap in to attack and end up <SLAMMING> into each other. "

Might be cool and creepy to do something here where when the two Street Phantoms slam into each other, they accidentally phase into each other and get STUCK, forming a bizarre-looking combination creature.

-- Pete


  1. Wow, I see a LOT had to be done for this script to even make sense.

  2. I don't suppose you have the rest of the concept art from this episode?

    Or does that belong to the artist who drew it? I know I'm not allowed to show concept art drawings for the costumes and sets from my plays online because they are the property of the artist... I'm wondering if it's the same thing here.

    Or, maybe you just don't have them anymore and I'm over-thinking this... :-)

    1. Hillary, I will leave it to you to judge whether or not you are over-thinking it!

      As for the rest of the concept art -- hard to say, as I do not have it organized very well. Some things I know I deleted, but most of it I saved... so it is possible that I still have most of it.

      Was there something in particular that you were interested in? -- PL

    2. I was just curious what designs your comments above pertained to. (I meant series, not episode above.) I love seeing how to went from a to b with this show and wanted that missing piece, if it was handy. I just noticed you name the file names next to your comments and it made me wonder if you actually had any of those files.

      I'm sorry to be many posts behind, I tend to save them as little rewards to finish when I get some work done. Without self-bribery, I would never accomplish anything.