Saturday, February 18, 2012

Blast from the Past #474: July 25, 2005: re: new TMNT lineup, and July 21, 2005: Re: TMNT Show 119 Premise - First Draft

Subj: re: new TMNT lineup
Date: Monday, July 25, 2005 3:13:30 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


I'm pretty disappointed in the art you sent me for the new look of the "future Turtles". It's a nice drawing, but my reaction when I first got it was "Why are the Turtles wearing goofy black Ace bandages?"
These designs do not in any way reflect what I had been envisioning for what we have been discussing for the "enviropacks" that the Turtles would be given and be wearing to help them deal with the different atmospheres and gravity zones in new NYC. That they are all different patterns/designs with different belts baffles me, too -- I don't see the logic in it, other than to make each Turtle look different for no particular reason. Maybe I'll give it a shot to see what I can come up with.
In regards to the size/build differences that we discussed, Don, Mike and Leo are fine, but Raph looks a shade too big to me, plus his upper plastron looks weird -- too much of a "V" shape. I don't think Raph's overall torso shape has to change to indicate that he is slightly bigger/more muscular than his brothers.
I think it is back to the drawing board on this one. Might be helpful to see what designs Playmates nixed.
Cody, on the other hand, Ihave no problem with... though if part of his outfit is meant to be an "enviropack", perhaps that should be redesigned.

-- Pete


Subj: Re: TMNT Show 119 Premise - First Draft
Date: Thursday, July 21, 2005 2:29:31 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Here are my comments on the Ep. 119 premise.

1.) Re: the following:

"Cody takes the Turtles into his COMPUTER ROOM, a complete 360 VR dome, and calls up a thousand WEAPON SITES on the Internet."

I wonder if we can think up a clever word to supplant "Internet" to reflect the idea that in the future, the Internet that we know has grown into an almost infinite resource, bridging many star systems and inhabited planets. Here are a few suggestions:

-- Galactinet
-- Infininet (hard to say!) or maybe Infinet
-- Ultranet
-- Meganet
-- U-Net (for "Universal Network")

2.) Re: the following:

"The guys stare at Cody,   You OWN a company? You don t even leave the house!"

This last comment seems a bit odd -- didn't Cody leave his house in the first episode of Season Six so he could pick up the Turtles?

3.) Re: the following:

"And DARIUS walks in! The Ninja Turtles immediately disappear, winking at Cody from the shadows and mocking Darious, unseen."

Why do the Turtles "mock" Darius? What is the point? And do they do thing mocking just unseen, or unseen and UNHEARD?

4.) Re: the following:

"Cody finds it impossible to stand up to his   almost uncle and agrees to stay inside when Darius leaves. When Cody looks for the Turtles, he finds them outside, waiting in the Hovershell!   Rules were meant to be broken, kid &especially rules from a jerk! Cody resists, but they throw him in the hovershell and take off!"

Where did this "Hovershell" come from? I appreciate the idea that we should get some neat Turtle vehicles into this show, but this seems WAY to quick for them to already have a Turtle-ized future vehicle. They don't even have their weapons yet! 

Also, I question whether ALL the Turtles would be behind this "rules were made to be broken" bit -- seems pretty irresponsible of them. I could definitely see Raph pulling that line, and maybe Mikey, but definitely not Leo and Don, especially in these circumstances (they're brand-new to this future city, they don't know their way around, they don't know what kinds of dangers lurk, and yet they want to yank this kid out into a vehicle they haven't flown in before?). And as written, they actually FORCE Cody to disobey Darius -- it's not his choice. And that's not like our guys.

This scene might work better for me if set up something like this: Don and Leo go off to try to work on their weapons. Meanwhile, Mikey and Raph spot A VEHICLE floating outside one of the windows. They jump into it and start fooling around with the controls. Cody nervously asks them to cut it out, but they continue and pester him to teach them how to fly it... they just want to cruise around and check out how the city has changed. Cody finally gives in -- if only to keep these two goons from hurting themselves and/or wrecking the flyer -- and takes off with them.

5.) Re: the following:

"Splinter interrupts,   This is freaking awesome, my sons. Splinter points out that it isn t the craftsman s tools that make a fine weapon, but the craftsman himself. He encourages Donny to try first."

Bad Splinter line.

6.) Unrelated to this story, but this thought just occurred to me: Would it be fun to do a story which deals with the beginning of the "Society for the Preservation of Internal Combustion"? This, as we all know, is the group which started and continues to sponsor the Planet Racing series as seen in the "PLANET RACERS" graphic novels. Maybe Raph somehow gets hooked up with them in one of their first races, and he encounters either Godman Falcon's mom (either as a youngster or an adult) or a young Godman Falcon. Might be neat to tie in the third season "Across the Universe" episode with this new season six.
Actually, it might be fun to one of those ironic time travel story twists and have Raph somehow end up being a significant factor in the birth of Planet Racing.

7.) Re: the following:

"Leo, though skeptical, will try anything once, and imagines his ideal swords. Being a little snotty, he wants a sword folded 40,000 times with a blade so sharp it s only a hair s width thick. Cody smirks,   what about one molecule thick? "

I don't think Leo has to be "a little snotty" (not generally a characteristic we associate with Leo) to fantasize about having a super-sharp blade. Also, do we want to have the blade itself be one molecule thick or just the leading/cutting edge of it? As I read this, I thought of an idea which might work or might be too goofy (or both!): Imagine a blade which was only one molecule thick -- you could roll that up into a tiny cylinder. If you could somehow press a release button and the sword unrolled AND if the material when unrolled then became ultra-rigid (no jokes, please), then we could give Leo a pair of swords which wouldn't have to be carried in sheathes on his back, but rather he could carry them on his belt.

Maybe instead of unROLLING, the sword could unFOLD when needed. Maybe this material could be sourced from a research project to create super protective fold-up emergency space suits or something. If we did go this way, I think we would definitely need a key scene where a skeptical Leo is shown how strong this material can be when expanded (maybe have a bit where Mike, Raph and Don all perch on a blade-length sample of the material, and it barely deflects under all their weight). One practical issue with a blade which is only one molecule thick -- unlike a traditional blade, this would be one molecule thick on BOTH edges... which would be great if you were in a situation where you wanted to cut on both forward and return strokes, but not so great if you needed to PUSH on the back edge of the blade. Maybe this meterial could have a built in "safety edge" which configures itself when the blade is unfolded.

8.) Re: the following:

"AT O NEIL   Darius is all ready giving a press conference about what s happened, really playing up the worry and begging for the safe return of the boy. The Turtles, returning and watching from the shadows, don t trust him at all. Looking outside, Donny rattles his brain about how they can find Cody & when all of their WATCHES begin beeping."

When did the Turtles start wearing watches? This should be given some kind of setup earlier.

9.) Re: the following:

"The Turtles attack & zooming in on their TBD VEHICLES with NEW WEAPONS! Mikey is first on the scene, going crazy with his   Turtletech battle armor go plus infinity! A battle ensues, and this time around, our boys have the upper hand. The new weapons work even better than expected &except for Mikey s BATTLE ARMOR, which misfires, falls apart in pieces, etc. "

A slight problem with timing here -- Mike's battle armor had not been finished yet -- as shown in the following from earlier in the premise:

"Mikey jumps into the   drivers seat and whips up a mech-body armor nightmare with rockets and lasers and a soda dispenser, etc. As everything is logged in and construction begins &

KATHOOM! A the roof caves in, and the guys must dodge truck-sized shards of glass as the Winged Warriors finally reveal themselves   The Inuwashi Gunjin!"

So either he should finish in before the attack, or we should somehow show or say that he finished it -- and went to pick it up -- sometime before the Turtles went off to find Cody. And I think we need to do something somewhere in here which would explain how the same tech that can build the Turtles' new perfect weapons also builds something like Mike's battle armor which "misfires, falls apart" -- NOT something to inspire a lot of confidence in the other weapons which come out of the "Transcendental Lathe" (great name, by the way).

The solution to this problem could be as simple as doing something like this: When Mikey is whipping up his battle armor and putting everything but the kitchen sink into it, the Transcendental Lathe machine could start flashing warnings about the number of options being chosen and their viability as a reliable weapons system -- which warnings Mike chooses to ignore. This could set up the weakness of the "over-muscled" battle armor for this fight scene.

10.) Re: the following:

"Thinking fast, Raph forces one of the I.G. he s fighting (and riding) in the air to change direction and swoop down to intercept Cody. Raph catches him and they land safely in the Central Park lake."

The idea that Raph could basically "pilot" one of these fearsome I.G.'s is a bit much. I think more thought should go into this rescue bit. Also, I'm a little unclear on the geography here -- is this Central Park Aerie thing a real thing, and is it near enough to the lake that they could fall into it after being thrown from the top? Or is this all new imaginary stuff? (Actually, the "falling into the lake" question still applies -- how threatening is being thrown off a building if you are going to land safely in a lake?)

11.) Re: the following:

"A final race through town ensues, winding up back at O NEIL where Darius s press conference is rudely interrupted! The Turtles finally ground the I.G., beating them senseless as Raph arrives with Cody. When Leo tries to interrogate the leader about who hired them, the leader is about to tell when ZZZAPT! The mercenaries   short out, returning to a stasis like state.
 (Darius   meets the Turtles for the first time, and thanks them for their help. He suggests that   professionals will take over now, but Cody steps up to the plate and tells everyone that he has it under control with his new, uh & The turtles jump in,   Bodyguards? Protectors? Security Force? Cody smiles,   UNCLES.

They leave everyone at the press conference confused and speechless, especially Darius."

Much like the "confused and speechless" press corps in this scene, I'm not totally clear on WHY this battle ends up back at Darius' press conference, but maybe that will come in future drafts. However, what needs to happen here is SOME kind of public statement from Cody about the Turtles explaining who/what they are instead of just calling them his "Uncles" (which is pretty goofy, given the circumstances... no wonder the press are "confused and speechless"). I think Cody should have enough smarts to perceive that, given the circumstances, he should say something that DEFLECTS curiosity rather than AMPLIFIES it, and thus should say something like "these are my great new bodyguards that Darius hired for me -- they're from (some newly discovered planet or something)".

-- Pete


  1. ''This is freaking awesome, my sons.''? What? Seriously? SO glad that didn't make it into the finished script.

    1. Agreed! That would feel out of character.

      On the other hand, love that concept art drawing of Don.