Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Blast from the Past #521: December 14, 2005: Re: TMNT 140 ("DNA is Thicker than Water") Premise and Re: TMNT: Show 136 ("The Fall of Darius") Third Draft

Subj: Re: TMNT 140 ("DNA is Thicker than Water") Premise
Date: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 4:46:06 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Here are my comments on the Ep.140 outline.

1.) Re: the following:

"The turtles and Cody leave the wounded Dark Leo a few feet away and discuss what to do (making sure NO ONE comes off a gullible). In lieu of Dark Leo’s sacrifice to save Cody, and considering the fact that he was injured in the process – the TMNT and Cody take his weapons and decide to take him in and treat his leg, at least for now…

The next morning, at breakfast, the TMNT family gets their first, full-on taste of having a Dark Turtle for a roommate.  As he sits at the table – and the mayhem begins!  Dark Leo grabs his plate of food and starts to eat with his hands, like a maniac.  He even grabs the plate and takes a few bites out of it.  He drinks syrup right out of the bottle. "

What is UP with this obsession with having characters try to eat plates? Dopey.
But worse is the fact that they so quickly have accepted Dark Leo as a "roommate"... apparently without any restrictions.

2.) Re: the following:

"Later that evening, THE TAG CHAMPIONSHIP RESUMES! Serling makes a wise-ass comment abut the imminent damage to the Penthouse, and we’re off.  Trusting Dark Leo more than before after the incident in the dojo, Leo invites Dark Leo to play.  A game?  Dark Leo accepts.  Not long into the game that we again glimpse Dark Leo’s bestial tendencies (like we did in the dojo).  He gets violent and super-competitive to avoid being tagged by “it”.  He knocks Serling’s head off and throws it at someone in defense, he tosses furniture – he basically wrecks the Penthouse to win!"

Knocking Serling's head off is too over-the-top, and dopey to boot. (And it's NOT that funny, and certainly nothing I want to see as a "running gag" as stated later in this outline.) And isn't Serling now Cody's "Turtle X" suit, and, as such, significantly tougher and stronger and not so easily pushed around?

-- Pete


Subj: Re: TMNT: Show 136 ("The Fall of Darius") Third Draft
Date: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 5:19:13 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Here are my notes on the Ep. 136 third draft.

1.) Re: the following:

"** MIKEY – standing in a large pot, holds one of the ORCHIDS too close to his face, and as he yells…
No way, Hose-D! This is all Cody, and whatever you’re up to this--<YOWW!>
** …THE FLOWER <BITES> him on the nose!"

"No way, Hose-D!" is stretching WAY too far for a gag that's not worth the reach.

2.) Re: the following:

Maybe… I think Darius might be using a space-phasing generator.  
*Donatello moves into the workspace and looks up…PAN TO FIND THE LARGE LENS he noticed earlier.   
By vibrating the molecules of solid matter at different rates, it allows two different rooms to occupy the same physical space. 
DOWN ANGLE – on the guys looking up at the GLOWING LENS - RED.
It would need a subharmonic particle generator…that fit the bill?"

Brilliant! Nice way to explain the mystery.
However, this just occurred to me -- what happens when the "subharmonic particle generator" is destroyed by Cody/Turtle X -- do both rooms then COLLIDE with each other as they suddenly actually occupy the same space at the same time WITHOUT the "space-phasing"?

3.) Re: the following:

"** CODY
How could you, Uncle Darius?! My family trusted you! I-I trusted you!
Yes…apparently stupidity is a genetic trait, along with cowardice, short sightedness, and patronizing with lesser species!"

I don't see why Darius includes "cowardice" -- although we don't know anything about the other members of Cody's family, Cody is clearly NOT a coward. And I don't think you can patronize WITH -- but you can certainly FRATERNIZE with. (Which I think is what is meant to be said here.)

4.) Re: the following:

How long have you been working for Dun?
Details details! about keeping your head on your shoulders, “Little brother!” 
DARK LEO <GRAZES> Leo! He <CRIES OUT> and staggers back. "

Are their some words missing from Dark Leo's lines here? Something seems off.

5.) Re: the following:

Darius FIRES a wave of <PLASMA BLASTS!>
TURTLE X – grabs his ENERGY STAFF, DEFLECTING some of the blasts until it <SHATTERS!>"

"ENERGY STAFF"? What is this?

6.) Re: the following:

"** TURTLE X – GRABS Darius’s battlesuit, and pulls it in close. His finger raises into view level with Darius’s head – 
And now, YOU’re all wet, Darius!
** The <FLICK> of TURTLE X’s finger sends Darius’s suit flying—"

Given that we have already established that Darius' battlesuit is significantly more massive than Cody's Turtle X suit, it seems completely ludicrous to me that Turtle X can send Darius' suit flying with the flick of one finger.

7.) Re: the following:

Great Jupiter!  How can you stand the stench down here?  
We don’t have noses, remember?"

They have no sense of smell? Dopey. Let's think up a better rejoinder for Dark Mikey, along the lines of "'Stand it'? We LOVE it!"

-- Pete

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