Monday, October 24, 2011

Blast from the Past #427: September 7, 2004: comments on Ep. 91 ("Samurai Tourist") second draft and comments on Ep. 94 ("Prodigal Son") outline

Subj: comments on Ep. 91 ("Samurai Tourist") second draft
Date: Tuesday, September 7, 2004 10:12:52 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Here are my very brief comments on Ep. 91 second draft.

1.) Re: the following:

"*CLOSE ON A LIT CANDLE as it crosses into and out of the frame – the candle is suspended from a swinging rope (the rope is tied to the ring handle of an old school candleholder).  As it comes back into frame like a pendulum, a KATANA slices through the frame, cutting the wick and extinguishing the flame."

Just to be absolutely clear on how this is going to look -- due to the offset position of the ring handles that the ropes are tied to, these candles will be hanging at an angle, rather than straight up and down, right? Which actually works better for slicing the wicks without slicing the ropes.

2.) Re: the following:

…and there was nothing I could do.  Master Splinter was burned… The Shredder broke Raph’s back… Mikey’s legs… Don’s arm… all I could do was watch."

Because these lines are still in the script, even though I questioned whether or not these injuries actually happened in my last notes, I have to assume that someone has checked and these things DID happen. I guess my memory is failing me -- I remember Splinter being burned (by the Sword of Tengu, right?), but not the other stuff. Can you point me toward the episode(s) in which these things happened?

-- Pete


Subj: comments on Ep. 94 ("Prodigal Son") outline
Date: Tuesday, September 7, 2004 11:12:56 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Here are my comments on Ep. 94 outline.

1.) Re: the following:

"The Turtles layer, or what’s left of it, is dark and cold."

Perhaps the weirdest misspelling yet -- "layer" for "lair"! (And it's repeated again later several times.)

2.) Re: the following:

"With solid, precise, moves, Leo springs forward with in attack …

… and instead of kicks and punches, he is using finger jabs (that look like doing the death touch) and strange looking chops and tosses.

Using little effort but devastating his attackers, energy strikes, Chi, etc.  Before they can get a shot in-they are defeated.  Leo holds one of them to his feet."

Conceptually, this is cool. But I have to confess to some trepidation about what it is going to look like in animation, as it has the distinct potential to look REALLY goofy. When I first read this, for some reason I thought "Three Stooges".

3.) Re: the following:

"Casey Jones is in one of his very secret hideouts (the place is a mess, cluttered with all kinds of sports equipment/vigilante gear).  Leo creeps in –ninja style-

Casey is first annoyed that Leo has indeed found one of his most secret places, then he is very worried and angered when Leo gives him news of the layer and disappearance of others."

Huh? This is an odd new concept -- Casey Jones has "secret hideouts"? I don't quite see the point.

4.) Re: the following:

"She removes her robe, as it drops reveal her new streamline Shredder Armor.  She holds her right arm out strait.  A sword blade –pops- out, she drops into a fighting stance.  "

It's "straight", not "strait". And I'm not sure I'm loving the idea that swords can pop out of the armor. It seems silly and pointless.

5.) Re: the following:

" As Leo, with his skill begins to take the advantage Karai is knocked back.  A small hatch opens on her suit, three dart/knife projectiles launch toward Leo- he grabs a book from a shelf, with one hand holding it up as a shield, he moves his hand (and the book) absorbing all three darts. "

I'm not loving this dart idea, as it seems to me to open the door to all kinds of goofy, ludicrous weapons systems built into Karai's new Shredder armor. 

6.) Re: the following:

"As the epic fight continues and Leo edges in closer, Karai does a –pole vault- off the staff, blades (similar to the ones in her arms, but shorter) –pop- from her feet."

Ugh... sword blades popping out of her feet? Ugh...

7.) Re: the following:

"A close up as Karai -flings- her right arm down, the signature Shredder claw -pops- out.  (maybe hers is longer and more feminine looking).  It crackles with a blue electricity. "

Ugh. I'm starting to hate this new "super gizmofied" Shredder armor. Why can't it just be a sleek and deadly suit of bladed armor, like the original?

8.) Re: the following:

"Angered, embarrassed, she flips up a panel on her suit, touching a button.  An alarm sounds in the library, she speaks into the arm piece, “Security to the Library”.  "

Ugh. Is there an iPod built into it too? Is Karai the new Inspector Gadget?

9.) Re: the following:

"He tosses the sword, like a boomerang, toward her.  It flies through the air passing her.  We see a cut a across frame.  We then see the motionless statue of her father.  Slowly the head starts to slide off- a clean cut across the neck."

This is REALLY silly. Throwing a sword "like a boomerang"? Please. If Leo's going to cut off the statue's head with his sword, let him do it in a realistic way.

10.) Re: the following:

"Later, back at the new lair, Leo arrives home to join his brothers.  He carries his backpack (from the preview).  He’s brought some of their favorite food, some comics for Mikey, and presents Splinter the new walking stick.  

They all climb to the top of their new lair; it has a rooftop observation area looking out over the city skyline, a place for Splinter to meditate under the stars, a contrast to being “underground”."

How big IS this new place, if they can be on top of it and look out OVER the city skyline? And maybe I'm not seeing something, but aren't they going to be in plain view on top of this thing? I need to see some designs pronto... this location is starting to feel pretty dopey.

-- Pete

1 comment:

  1. Ugh... sword blades popping out of her feet? Ugh...

    Yeah that part is kind of gross, but Karai would be more like Wolverine than Inspector Gadget.