Subj: Re: TMNT Interstitial:
Date: Sunday, April 2, 2006 2:41:33 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
This one is marginally okay, the major problem being that the concluding gag really makes no sense whatsoever. Here it is:
"The smoke begins to clear revealing Leo comically clutching his eyes.
LEONARDO
Who knows! The fumes from that chili have blinded me!
RAPHAEL (OS)
(disgusted)
Fumes, nothin’! What about the discharge?!
ON RAPH – he’s buried in a big pile of steaming chili that looks a lot like a big pile of steaming…well, you get the idea."
From this, I have to assume that when you put fuel into the Sewer Sled, some great amount of it (the "discharge") doesn't get burned to provide power to the Sewer Sled, it just flies out of the exhaust pipes. If you can buy that, then I guess this is kind of funny. Kind of. Not really.
-- Peter
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Subj: Re: TMNT Interstitial Options
Date: Wednesday, April 5, 2006 10:54:47 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
The revision of "Zippy Chili" is much better than the first version. The surfing script ("Flash Flood") is also decent; the one comment I have about it is that the setting (where Raph finds Mike with the surfboard) should not just be the lair, but a specific area -- a tunnel, a channel, etc. -- where it might make some logical sense that Don COULD flood it and Mike COULD surf in it.
As it stands, either of these would work for me. You choose!
-- Pete
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Subj: new version of "Fast Forward" theme
Date: Friday, April 7, 2006 1:14:36 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
Here are my notes on the "Fast Forward" song (4-6-06).
I really like the music -- it's catchy, with a nice bass line. Up until the break -- when Raph "talks" his first line, the music really gets you going. However, the break -- where Raph, Mike and Splinter speak four lines -- just kills it for me. The lines aren't that great (especially the "takin' ninja names"...?) and the break really saps the energy out of the song... and makes it a lot less "singable" or "hummable".
I would suggest taking those four spoken lines out, and replacing them with four lines to complete that second stanza (if that's the right term), so we have two eight-line stanzas, the first beginning with "Four ninjas rode in" and ending with "To see a Turtle go...", and the second beginning with "This future stuff is so strange" and ending with the fourth of the four new lines I am suggesting.
I would keep the last four spoken lines (one spoken by each Turtle) -- they seem to fit in with the rhythm of the whole song.
Also, the pairing of the word "Fast" in the title of the new episodes with the concept that "Turtles aren't fast!" (as evidenced in both Splinter's spoken line and the lines "But it's sure a great way/to see a Turtle go.../Fast Forward") is just -- to me at least -- dopey. Yes, normal turtles are generally slow on land, but haven't we had five seasons of our Ninja Turtles moving very fast? This seems like a somewhat silly use of an inappropriate cliche.
Below is my attempt to tweak the lyrics.
-- Pete
-----------------------------------
TMNT “Fast Forward”
Four Teenage Turtles surfed in
On a wave from the past
It’s like the future’s a party
These ninja brothers just crashed
Don’t know when they’ll go home
How long the good times will last
But stick around and you'll see
These mutant ninjas go...
FAST FORWARD
Leonardo! Donatello!
FAST FORWARD
Raphael! Michelangelo!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
FAST FORWARD!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
This future stuff is so strange
Time can get rearranged
But the more that things change
The more they also stay the same
They're still kickin' bad guys' butts
And playing video games
They're driving everyone nuts
This future's really insane!
(CHORUS kicks in) FORWARD
(Raphael fighting)
Raph line: “Get outta my way!”
FAST FORWARD
(Donatello admiring high tech gear)
Don line: “It’s so not yesterday!
FAST FORWARD
(Mikey’s playing another game)
Mikey line: “It’s the ONLY way to play!”
FAST FORWARD
(Leonardo surveying rooftop cityscape)
Leo line: “Guess we’re here to stay!”
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
FAST FORWARD!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
FAST FORWARD!!!!
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Subj: Re: Turtles Fast Forward
Date: Monday, April 17, 2006 7:43:04 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
In a message dated 4/17/06 3:27:35 PM, Lloyd writes:
Hey Pete!
How ya been? Well, I hope.
Below please find a tweaked lyric to the TMNT: Fast Forward theme you liked best. We incorporated your notes, though our composer had to make some tweaks for timing and rhythm.
Please look ‘em over and let me know what you think. If you like ‘em, we can record this week (and also get started boarding the new main title).
I hope you’re getting to ride you bicycles and Segways now that the weather’s getting nice!
Talk to you soon,
Lloyd
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fast Forward
It’s Ninja Time!!!!!
Four Teenage Turtles surfed in
On a wave from the past
It’s like the future’s a party
That these brothers just crashed
Don’t know when they’ll go home
How long the good times will last
But just stick around and see
These Turtles go...
FAST FORWARD
Leonardo! Donatello!
FAST FORWARD
Raphael! Michelangelo!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
FAST FORWARD!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
This future stuff is so strange
Time can get rearranged
But the more things change
The more they seem to stay the same
Still kickin' butt
And playing video games
They're driving everyone nuts
This future's really insane!
(CHORUS kicks in) FAST FORWARD
(Raphael fighting)
Raph line: “Get outta my way!”
FAST FORWARD
(Donatello admiring high tech gear)
Don line: “It’s so not yesterday!
FAST FORWARD
(Mikey’s playing another game)
Mikey line: “It’s the ONLY way to play!”
FAST FORWARD
(Leonardo surveying rooftop cityscape)
Leo line: “Guess we’re here to stay!”
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
FAST FORWARD!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
FAST FORWARD!!!!
Lloyd,
Not only am I bicycling and Segwaying, but motorcycling as well! Spring has sprung!
Re: the lyrics -- they work for me!
-- Pete
Wow, they even consulted you on the music? This show was so artist driven, I love that!
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