Subj: comments on Ep. 85 premise
Date: Friday, July 2, 2004 10:20:14 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
I must say that I sadly concur with your grim assessment of this one. Here are my comments on the Episode 85 premise.
1.) Re: the following:
"Below, the turtles are practicing, playing, sightseeing atop one of NYC taller skyscrapers.
Suddenly, a man plummets past them down the side of the building from above. (But from where?) Without thinking, the turtles spring into action. In an instant, Mikey grabs a cable they cut and dives over the side of the building after the falling man, tying it to his ankle.
He stream lines his body and catches up to the tumbling, unconscious man who isn’t as aerodynamic because the guy’s got wings! Mike grabs him and his brothers stop his descent and pull them up. "
This is a punchy opening -- unfortunately, it has the kind of silly "cartoon physics" that I hate. I think we can find a better way to introduce our Avian in trouble.
Actually, I just had the thought that if we want to keep this scenario (Raptarr falls out of the sky and Turtles rescue him), this might be a cool way to introduce a new flying TMNT vehicle which would, among other things, make this kind of rescue more believable, as well as give us a possible new toy. Hey! Isn't Playmates doing some "Air Ninja" figures (Turtles with individual flying/gliding harnesses)? I think we just signed off on what might be the final approvals for those, and something like that might work perfectly into this scenario.
2.) Re: the following:
"The winged man is badly beaten. He’s been in a shell of a fight. One wing is broken"
Unless he has some kind of super healing powers, with a BROKEN wing I doubt he'll be of much use in this episode's action. And why have a flying guy if he can't fly? Maybe a SPRAINED wing would work.
3.) Re: the following:
"Donatello pegs him as an Avian. The turtles know of his kind because of their recent encounter with the Y’lantians."
I can't recall -- did Don and the other Turtles actually SEE any Avians in that episode, or did they just HEAR about them? If the latter, I don't think Don would necessarily leap to that conclusion.
4.) Re: the following:
"At the test flight of Donny’s new wings we find out just how much Raph hates to fly."
This is new. I don't seem to recall Raph ever having this problem before, and in fact, if memory serves, he enjoyed the heck out of flying one of the Foot's "Razor Jets" in battle against them in one of the "Return to New York" episodes.
5.) Re: the following:
"However, as the turtles and Raptarr approach the flying city, it looks like the ready-for-battle Avians just might shoot them out of the sky. They lock their big guns on the incoming hostiles and prepare to fire."
I wonder if these "big guns" are also "technology but not machines", like the "technology" which floats and cloaks the Air City? Anyway, why do the Avians attack? Don't they recognize Raptarr?
6.) I should probably stop here and say I really don't like this episode premise in general and it's kind of pointless and a waste of time to make specific comments on how to fix something that I think doesn't deserve fixing.
A key element missing from this premise -- which you and I briefly talked about, Lloyd -- is the concept that Raptarr is a "superhero" in NYC, and as such has distanced himself from his Avian people, who frown on this kind of fraternization and involvement with the human world. I think there is a lot of gold to be mined in that idea, and could lead to a far more interesting story (and lay a better groundwork for future stories) than what we have presently in this premise.
My basic suggestion at this point is to use the idea outlined in my previous paragraph, lose all the stuff with Raptarr's wife and kid, and work on Mephos to make him a more interesting supervillain. Maybe HE is the real reason that Raptarr has risked the opprobrium of his people -- Mephos could be the "fallen angel" that we talked about, who was either thrown out of "Heaven" -- the Avian floating city -- or willingly sought power and wealth on the surface. Maybe he was even born with stunted wings or something, which led him to become embittered, and he seeks to establish a power base on the surface from which he can eventually mount an assault on the floating city.
Or perhaps when Mephos left the Avian city, he either lost -- or had taken away from him because of his misdeeds -- the natural Avian ability to see through the cloak which hides the Avian city, thus forever dooming him to exile... and maybe THIS is what he seeks -- a way to find the cloaked city again (either to return for revenge against a particular individual, or for conquest?).
In any event, SOMETHING has to be done to make this a more interesting tale.
-- Pete
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