Sunday, September 18, 2011
Blast from the Past #409: June 15, 2004: Re: notes on Ep. 82 outline
Subj: notes on Ep. 82 outline
Date: Tuesday, June 15, 2004 2:48:10 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Here are my notes on the Ep. 82 outline.
1.) Re: the following:
"As the engine driver is trying to stop the speeding train, Purple Dragons press a detonator exploding a section of track. The train comes barreling forward as we go to …
The train continues and derails in a huge crash. Soon, Purple Dragons swarm all over the train as …"
This would probably look pretty cool, but I wonder if it makes sense that the Purple Dragons would risk damaging -- possibly destroying -- the precious cargo inside that train by forcing it to "derail in a huge crash". Perhaps some other less destructive method is in order.
2.) The scene with Bishop getting chewed out by the President and having to swallow his anger and pride made me think of the Utrom exosuit-based robots that the Shredder had been making some time back -- wasn't one of them a duplicate President? What happened to that robot? The thought occurred to me when reading this scene was that if Bishop had somehow salvaged this robot from the wreckage of the Shredder's HQ, he might consider a plan to replace the President with it. However. if that robot was destroyed in a previous episode, please ignore this comment.
3.) Re: the following:
"As Bishop and his aide are walking down a hall, the aide informs Agent Bishop that there’s a problem. “Sir, tonight’s shipment was hijacked. X9812 was on that train.”"
There is nothing per se wrong with the name or identifier X9812, but I wonder if a cooler name might be better.
4.) I have nothing against the action scenes of Casey and Leo fighting the Purple Dragons, but I think we need to give some thought about WHAT they are actually doing and trying to accomplish. The way it is written right now, Leo and Casey are just beating up on as many Purple Dragons as they can find, Casey because that's his nature and Leo because he has some stuff going on that needs an outlet. But... what does that accomplish? We know that because this is the TV show, first and foremost, and also because our heroes aren't stone-cold killers, that the Purple Dragons are not going to be "stopped" by being killed. So -- are Leo and Casey going to beat them all up, and then leave? What is accomplished by doing that? The Purple Dragons will moan and groan... and then heal up and be back doing their dirty work.
I think perhaps that Leo and Casey should intend that the Purple Dragons are stopped by the authorities, and it's up to Leo and Casey to let the authorities know what they have found out -- namely, the Purple Dragons have this warehouse full of stolen stuff. Maybe when they get to the warehouse and see what's going on there, Casey could say to Leo "So... should we call the cops now, or later?" Leo could think for a moment... then smile wickedly and say "Later." (The idea is that while Leo does believe that the right thing to do is to alert the authorities, he's also feeling that he'd like to work out some of his angst on these convenient Purple Dragon targets... and THEN alert the authorities.)
5.) Re: the following:
"Casey pulls a pin and tosses the grenade belt back into the warehouse.
Hun is just coming back into his warehouse to reclaim it. Let that idiot Jones and that freak turtle worry about that monster. “Let’s load up. I want all this moved to our main headquarters and …”
But, Hun’s smile soon turns to a frown as he sees the grenade belt … and (jump cut in on) the grenade with the pulled pin! “Aw crud!”
And, the whole warehouse explodes silhouetting Casey and Leo as they follow the monster’s trail. They hear the channel bell tolling getting a little louder."
While this is pyrotechnically cool, it is also hugely irresponsible on Casey's part -- blowing up a warehouse full of who knows what kind of deadly munitions in the middle of New York City? That's more of a "bad guy" move.
6.) The idea that the monster in this episode is a tragic figure and once was a sailor in the US Navy who has somehow been transformed (by Bishop, I assume) is sort of cool, but the scene with his widow AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME sitting on here balcony wearing black and holding his photo is really a bit much. In fact, all of that stuff is fairly irrelevant, and might just get in the way of the storytelling. I think. Isn't the real point that this innocent sailor was turned into a monster? The grieving widow is sort of gilding the lily, I think.
Also, I have to question the idea that Bishop and his crew would turn this guy into a mutant monster -- and yet still LEAVE HIS DOGTAGS ON HIM!!! Doesn't that seem a bit goofy?
I also have to say that while I understand that we want to show that Leo is more pissed off than usual, he seems way too bloodthirsty in the way that he pursues and deliberately burns alive the monster, and apparently has fun doing it.