Saturday, August 6, 2011

Blast from the Past #382: Feb. 23, 2004: comments on first draft of Ep. 68





Feb. 23, 2004: comments on first draft of Ep. 68 

From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine


Lloyd,

Here are my comments on Ep. 68 first draft script. 

1.) Re: the following:

"We PAN TO SEE the OPPOSITE DIRECTION where MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS, NEPTUNE, and PLUTO also move into alignment … then behind it, we see a huge SUPER NOVA in an almost BLINDING FLASH …
2. HIGH MAGE (ENTITY)(VO CONT’D)
… in conjunction with the super nova of a gas giant at the edge of the Milky Way."

What is up with this "super nova" thing? How in HECK is a supernova "at the edge of the Milky Way" supposed to have ANY effect on Earth? Goofy. Let's try not to get TOO silly. It's enough that we are stretching reality to accommodate the idea that the planetary alignment is going to cause significant changes on Earth -- we don't need a flare from a GIGANTICALLY distant supernova lighting up our planets and activating the crystals.

2.) Re: the following:

"9. DONATELLO (CONT)
Hey, what happened to Earth?
ANGLE ON MICHELANGELO – stuffing a DONUT in his mouth next to RAPHAEL, LEONARDO.
10. MICHELANGELO
(innocently, mouth full)
I think I just ate it."

I appreciate the fact that my doughnut gag idea is being used, but I think it would be even funnier if the gag is nearly purely visual, i.e. after Don says "Hey, what happened to Earth", the next shot is Mikey either stuffing the donut in his mouth or chewing with some crumbs around his mouth... and then he just gives an innocent/clueless look and maybe just says "What...?"

3.) Re: the following:

"12. LEONARDO
But, why is this having such an affect upon the Earth?
13. DONATELLO
It shouldn’t be.  It happens all the time."

First, I think that should be "effect", not "affect". And second, I'm a little confused -- the way Leo asks the question and the way Don answers it implies that there HAVE been effects... but the following scene implies that the effects start AFTER they have that little exchange. Perhaps it should be changed as follows:

"12. LEONARDO
But does this have any affect upon the Earth?
13. DONATELLO
It shouldn't."

Actually, after I just wrote that, I decided that I should do a little research into planetary alignments, and discovered that apparently the planets NEVER line up in the way it's described in this script (see this site: http://www.griffithobs.org/SkyAlignments.html), i.e. all in one straight line.

4.) Re: the following:

"The Turtles walk cautiously, keeping to the shadows as they pass a DOOR which startlingly opens – a Y’LYNTIAN emerging."

What does a doorway look like when it opens "startlingly"?

5.) Re: the following:

"65. MICHELANGELO
Yeah, I’m not into catching what the lava boys are pitching! "

Is this some bizarre gay reference?

6.) Re: the following:

"A CRYSTAL TORCH is mounted against the wall beyond the bars.  Suddenly Mikey’s nunchaku are FLUNG at it, one handle tied to a rope made of blue, purple, orange, and red ninja belts."

Colored "ninja belts"? Is this meant to refer to their masks? Their belts are all brown.

7.) Re: the following:

"ANGLE THROUGH THE BARS – as Raphael reels in the belts, pulling the torch to himself.
92. RAPHAEL
Got it!  Now stand back!
NEW ANGLE ON THE TURTLES as Raphael, now with the torch in hand, swings it mightily at the bars, the crystal SLASHING through them in a spray of sparks."

What the -- ?! Since when did the crystals have this metal cutting nature? And how would Raph KNOW they did?

8.) I'm not sure I'm loving this thing of Y'Lyntias rising causing the sea level to rise to the point where NYC is "completely flooded". That seems WAY beyond logic to me, as to have that effect the landmass would have to be HUGE. Not to mention the fact that if the city is "completely flooded", what happens to the Turtles' lair, April's shop, etc.?

9.) Two questions -- what happened to the Turtle Tunneler, and did everyone in Y'Lyntias (besides Versalia) perish when it sank beneath the lava at the end?

-- Pete

4 comments:

  1. Hello there,
    I'm new to the blog but a big fan. My comment/question has little to do with this specific topic but is just very general. Let me quickly start off by saying I've been a huge fan of TMNT literally my whole life. I grew up with the series in the 80s. We have home movies of me dressing up as the turtles with my paper weapons and a cardboard shell. I was born with a heart condition that didn't allow me to do sports like the other kids so sitting around and watching TV and reading comics kind of was my childhood. I made note to a friend the other day that I most likely got my speech patterns (and some phrasings) from the Michaelangelo character. That being said I was wondering if you happen to do custom sketches for commission? I'm not rich by any means and the comission may be FAR out of my price range, but I figure'd I'd give it a shot and see if anything could happen. It would be in the TMNT subject matter but I would love to have a personal sketch from you. Is there any way that this could happen? Please let me know. Daniel_Fyre@yahoo.com is my personal e-mail if that makes things easier. Thank you so much for your time and work Mr. Laird. Have a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Danny said...

    I was wondering if you happen to do custom sketches for commission?"

    I do that when I go to comic conventions, but I don't otherwise except under unusual circumstances. Sorry! Maybe I'll run into you at a show sometime. -- PL

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awesome. Is there any way to know when you'd be at a con local to me? I tried looking that up already and had little luck. Is there a place that you would be posting it? Your other blog perhaps? Thanks for your response!

    -Dan

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Danny said...
    Awesome. Is there any way to know when you'd be at a con local to me? I tried looking that up already and had little luck. Is there a place that you would be posting it? Your other blog perhaps? Thanks for your response!

    -Dan"

    Dan, at the moment, I have no plans to attend any shows. However, if I do change my mind about that in the future, I will almost certainly post some information about it on this blog. -- PL

    ReplyDelete