Feb. 20, 2004: comments on Ep. 69 outline
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Here are my comments on Ep. 69 outline ("Time Travails"):
1.) Re: the following:
"The Annals of History is a vast museum containing both books and magical artifacts relating to Time Management. On a pedestal near the door a crystal ball – the Eye of Hindsight – shows a huge horn-headed creature (SAVANTI ROMERO) in his castle, watching his ADVISOR (a cloaked human, but frail, almost lizard-like) create a magic spell.
The spell is designed to manipulate circumstance so that the fabled Time Scepter will be drawn to them. Renet dusts right over it, then notices the scene inside. "Ick!"
She grabs the ball and shakes it like a snow globe, causing faint yells to come from the scene inside that the spell is "breaking up – stabilize it!" Then the ball CHANGES to an image of the Turtles on a New York rooftop, having a water fight in the heat."
I like the idea (and name) of the "Eye of Hindsight", but I think it really isn't necessary to at this point show Savanti Romero and his advisor. I think it is confusing, especially because after she shakes the ball, it displays the Turtles -- huh? What possible connection could the two things have, vis a vis the function of the "Eye of Hindsight"? I would suggest instead that the "Eye of Hindsight" display some other, unrelated event, and Renet -- bored as she is -- shakes it up and then it shows the Turtles. (Might be even funnier if what is initially being displayed in the ball is something of great importance in human history, but Renet is STILL bored by it.)
2.) Re: the following:
"Renet’s going to miss the building completely; she falls heading for the street far below. Luckily, the firehose is still at hand. Raph races away with it, leaping right off the rooftop and out into space, trailing the hose, swinging down and …
… he catches Renet in one hand as the other three Turtles grab the firehose and brace themselves, controlling the swing of the firehose and stopping Raph and Renet from falling to their deaths.
But now, Raph and Renet are swinging back toward the windows of the building!
Raph, using one hand and both feet to hold Renet and the hose, whips out a sai with his free hand and hurls it at the glass. The window shatters just before they hit it and he and Renet land inside, tumbling across the floor.
An old lady drinking tea watches them dumbfounded as they tumble across her living room and vanish out the door.
She glances down at her cup. They’re certainly making herb teas potent these days!"
I can't say I'm loving the crash through the window bit. In fact, the whole Renet falling off the roof thing seems pointless, except as an action bit. Why not just have her land on top of one or more of them like she does in the comic, instead of wasting storytelling time on this kind of thing?
3.) I'm not sure if this is something we want to do, but it would be cool to look at -- imagine when Savanti Romero has gotten his hands on the Time Scepter and is briefly pursuing the Turtles and Renet into the dense forest, he uses one of its powers, and creates an expanding bubble of negative time... which causes all of the old, large trees within its circumference to start growing BACKWARDS, getting younger and younger and smaller and smaller until they are only tiny saplings or even acorns or seeds. And animals caught in the effect would also be affected, which could be a neat visual.
The only reason I am not wholeheartedly suggesting this idea is that I'm not sure that showing that the Time Scepter has this kind of power is too much -- it would sort of make Savanti Romero invincible... unless we throw in a line somewhere (either from Savanti or from the Scepter itself) that the Time Scepter can only sustain this "negative time bubble" for short periods of time, and it nearly drains the Scepter of all of its power -- something Savanti obviously does not want to do.
4.) Re: the following:
"Ultimate Drako is the melding of Ultimate Ninja and Drako from the "Big Brawl." The two were melded into a horrific one by their passage through a wormhole of space and time – a passage that took three thousand years for Ultimate Drako.
And all that time his rage grew. Finally able to reform and enter the real world, he disguised his hideous form with magic and became an advisor to the Demon Lord Romero, whose wealth and access to magical implements allowed him to plan his revenge."
I think it would be cool if instead of being able to enter the "real world" of his own volition, Ultimate Drako is actually inadvertently rescued from hopeless oblivion by the spells of Savanti Romero, who had been searching (through sorcerous means) the dark dimensions for beings of power who might aid him in his fell designs.
5.) Re: the following:
"Savanti Romero is stunned by all this – and annoyed as well. His advisor is getting seriously above himself! He tries a smackdown, but Ultimate Drako immolates him with a wave, and the Demon Lord crumbles to dust. "
WHAA --???!!! Why destroy Savanti in this manner? I thought we were going to use him again in the future, at least in an adaptation of TALES OF THE TMNT #7 (the one set in dino times). I think it would be better if Ultimate Drako does something different, like use the power of the Time Scepter to shrink him or freeze him or SOMETHING. Maybe he uses a bit of its "negative time" power to turn Savanti into a much younger version of himself.
Actually, it just occurred to me that this could be a perfect way to set up that adaptation of the TALES story -- Ultimate Drako could rid himself of Savanti Romero by using the power of the Time Scepter to throw Romero back to the prehistoric past. Would that work?
6.) Maybe it's just me, but I really like the goofy humor in the original TMNT #8 when Savanti Romero tries -- futilely -- to blast Lord Simultaneous with the Time Scepter, beginning boldly with "Freeze! Fry! Oxidize and die!" and finally ending with the lame "Do something hot!" (I'm quoting from memory here -- the actual words may be different). These same (or similar) lines could be spoken by Ultimate Drako (instead of Savanti Romero) in this episode. It's not absolutely necessary, but I think it would be fun.
7.) Something else that would be fun, I'm thinking, would be -- if we can find a place where it fits -- to do a visual gag as a "tip of the hat" to Dave Sim's Cerebus the Aardvark character, who appeared in that original TMNT #8. The idea I have right now is when the Turtles and Renet are being chased into the forest by Savanti Romero, one of the Turtles trips over an animal rooting in the underbrush, and the animal is an aardvark (realistically drawn, NOT looking like Cerebus) -- and that aardvark could be one of the victims of the "negative time bubble" (if we use that idea). I'm of course open to other ideas.