Monday, September 17, 2012

Blast from the Past #594: October 2, 2002: Re: Kirby and Re: Stuff, and October 9, 2002: Re: Howdy!

Subj: Re: Kirby
Date: Wednesday, October 2, 2002 9:41:57 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine


Just thought of something -- it would be cool to dedicate that episode, in the credits, to the memory of Jack Kirby, king of the comics (or words to that effect). What do you think?



Subj: Re: Stuff
Date: Wednesday, October 2, 2002 10:23:33 PM
From:   Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 10/2/02 1:29:01 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hi Peter -

Once again you expertly and impressively evaded my grasp!

Here are a few things I'd like to hear back on asap:

* Turtle Shell color>>

It looks fine to me.

<<* A revised draft of show 14 has been sent.  As the revisions were
pretty minor, if you can give it a quick eyeball I can finalize it (it goes
into production next week)>>

No problems!

<<* Chuck had a good idea for the end of episode 18 (the second part of
"Shredder Strikes Back"):  what if we end part two with the Turtles,
Splinter, April, and Casey trapped in the back room of April's store when
Shredder sets off his incendiary device?  We end on the cliff-hanger note
that Shredder has rid himself of them once and for all!  When we start up
show 19, we'll reveal how our heroes survived (the old freezer/escape
route).  I think it could be cool.  What do you think?  >>

I think that sounds good.


I have some comments on the storyboards for the "main title". (Nice drawings, by the way.)

1.) Pg. 12: Why the heck does Raph pass right through the sidewalk/pavement? Yeah, it's a cool effect, but makes no sense, especially in the context of every thing else that happens in this intro. I think it would work better if he landed, then acrobatically flipped out of the area of light cast by the streetlight.

2.) Pg. 16: Why are there just three Turtles (Leo, Don and Raph) in this shot instead of all four? Seems odd. 

3.) Pg. 47-53: I'm really not sure about this sequence where the Shredder gets his butt kicked by the Turtles -- he ends up looking pretty silly. I also think using all of this time to show a somewhat goofy fight between the Turtles and the Shredder wastes a great opportunity to have a cool montage of quick images of OTHER characters we'll be seeing in upcoming episodes (Utroms, Triceratons, Shredder Elite, Fugitoid, Foot Tech Ninjas, Baxter Stockman/mousers, Garbageman, Silver Sentry, Dr. Malignus, etc.). Also, I wonder how cool it is to have the ONLY shot of April showing her being passively rescued by one of the Turtles. 


<<That's it for now.  Expect to get a first draft of 15 tomorrow!>>

I'll look forward to it!



Subj: Re: Howdy!
Date: Wednesday, October 9, 2002 10:08:18 PM
From:   Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 10/8/02 9:41:37 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hi Pete!

Here's what I'm waiting to hear from you on:

* 1st draft script show 15 (supposed to be finalized this week)>>


My comments:

1.) Pg. 4: "After-death experience" should be "After-life experience", I think.

2.) Pg. 31: I was very disappointed to see that the poignant resolution we had discussed (the "restored" humans begin to turn back into creatures the further they get from the underground city, prompting the realization that they must go back there if they want to stay completely human) has been ditched in favor of a really goofy and inappropriate "hubba-hubba" bit of shtick where there's one half-naked woman in the group of restored humans (Sydney) and all of the other restored humans (which for the sake of this stupid gag are all men) are drooling over her. 

       Not only that, but -- as Gary pointed out in his notes -- where did her "shredded clothes" come from? It makes no sense, and if the problem is that when the monsters turn back into humans they have no clothes on, I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to cheat it a bit where key parts are covered up by strategically placed bits of scenery, until the restored humans are able to cobble together some coverings from things found in the underground city (maybe even ancient clothes that are left there). In fact -- if the Entity's intention is to turn these monsters back into humans, he would likely know that they'd be naked when that happened, and he could prepare appropriate clothing for them, piled near each pedestal.

3.) Pg. 33: Splinter says (re: the Foot) "They've been searching the sewers for us, trying to find our lair." I understand that we need this setup to get the Turtles out of their lair and into April's apartment, but I'm unclear on WHY the Foot is searching specifically in the sewers and in the vicinity of the lair. And how long are they going to be searching? When will the Turtles feel it is safe to go back? Why is Splinter outside the lair, instead of hiding safely in the lair? Wouldn't he be in greater jeopardy if he were outside the lair, waiting for the Turtles to return so he can warn them (if that's what he's doing -- it's unclear how long he's been waiting for them, and anyway he had no idea when they would be back from their mission, if ever)? And isn't his warning about what the Foot are doing something that should be pretty obvious to the Turtles? Maybe Splinter would know that and rather than hang around in the sewers waiting for the Turtles to show up, he takes the initiative and goes to April's apartment. That way, when the anxious Turtles (who are worried about Splinter) show up there, there could be a fun moment when they knock on her door, it opens -- and to their surprise and relief, it's Splinter, with April.

<<* comments on premise(s) for 19>>

Of the two, I actually prefer Premise 2B ("Tales of Leo"), though I have a couple of issues with it.

1.) First, how close are we going to stay to the seasonal setting in the original comics? I ask this because there are several mentions to the freezing cold and ice on the pond -- is this taking place in winter? Does this ALSO mean that the previous two-parter is also set in the wintertime, and if so, can we have Leo fighting in the snow like in the original comics?

2.) Is Leo trying to say "car" because he can see from where he is laying on a couch that Casey's car is about to roll into the pond? I'm not clear exactly how this would physically be set up. Also, I think they should be at the house for a few days while Leo recovers at least enough to come out of his delirium before he does  the "kA" bit (right now as written it seems that it happens right away after they get into the farmhouse). It would seem too that most of this episode should be told in flashbacks as opposed to each character telling a story, which is how it is described here. 

3.) Did anyone realize that what Leo is saying sounds like the kid's word for shit ("kA-kA")? Does it matter?

While I appreciate the incorporation of elements from the comics in Premise 2A ("Things Change Some More"), I don't like the way it's done. I think it COULD be fixed, though.

<<* models for our 3 underground monsters, lab and Entity's City>>

They look okay to me, though I agree somewhat with Gary's comment about two of the monsters looking kind of similar.

<<* Playmates has asked us to create a "behind the scenes" video to help
them hype the show (and to prove that it's really in production!).  Are you
available/willing to be interviewed for this production?  I have to confirm
the date, but I think they plan to do it either Sunday or Monday (the 13th
or 14th).  We have to finish this entire production and ship it by Friday.>>

What would I need to do? If it involves going into NYC, I'd have to say no.


1 comment:

  1. I always found the splinter warning the turtles of the foot thing odd too...if they WHERE searching the layer, you'd think he'd not be able to get out of it through the sewers without the foot noticing. it'd be equally troublesome to go up top and sneak back down to wait not knowing when the turtles where coming back. was he sneaking around for days?

    It's amazing how much goofier the show could have The first season is one of my favorites, followed by season 5. but I also agree the first intro song could have been a bit more memorable. The one to fast forward I think is the best of the bunch because of it's hum-ability..