Monday, September 3, 2012

Blast from the Past #586: July 15, 2002: profiles 3 and 4 and outline 7, and Episode 08 premise ("Cold Blooded") and designs, July 17, 2002: Re: Laird's Lair, and July 19, 2002: Re: Laird's Lair




Subj: profiles 3 and 4 and outline 7
Date: Monday, July 15, 2002 2:06:04 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

I have no comments on the profiles other than to say they are fine.

The outline for episode 1488-07 ("The Way of Invisibility") is pretty good, and I only had a few comments at this stage.

1.) In his (and Raph's) fight with the Purple Dragons and the Foot on page 2 (Act 2), I assume that Casey is NOT wearing his hockey mask... otherwise, the Purple Dragons would recognize him from that previous episode (where they are trying to catch "that hockey mask-wearin' goon" or whatever they called him), and thus would likely not just leave him in the alley.

2.) On page 3, Raph escapes from a barge. Should I take this to mean that my yacht suggestion has been shot down? 

3.) I remember that some years ago the third STAR WARS movie was originally titled "Revenge of the Jedi", but Lucas changed it because he realized that Jedi don't seek revenge. With this is mind, I wonder if having the Guardians say that if the turtles "... are in the employ of our enemy... destroy them" makes them seem too much like Saki (i.e evil and destructive). Also, how do the Guardians know about the turtles? Is it just through their surveillance of Foot activities, or something else... and do we need to state or imply what that is?

--Peter

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Subj: Episode 08 premise ("Cold Blooded") and designs
Date: Monday, July 15, 2002 11:43:41 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

My major problem with the "Cold Blooded" premise is that the whole "bonked on the head/amnesia" thing seems TOTALLY superfluous. It has ZERO effect on the story -- Raph acts (in his battle with the poachers) pretty much just as he would if he hadn't lost his memory. There are other problems -- like where the heck are the security guards for this zoo? -- but the biggest problem is that as it stands there's no real reason for Raph to lose his memory. It also occurs to me that a storyline which has one of the Turtles losing his memory (which is a pretty significant thing) might better serve as the basis for a several episode arc where the amnesia actually adds to the drama. 

For example (and I must say I hesitate to suggest this, because I generally don't like these kinds of stories, but if done well, it might be cool): Raph loses his memory somehow and wanders off. The other Turtles search for him. Meanwhile, the amnesiac Raph is being recruited by the Shredder, who is twisting Raph's vulnerable mind to believe that the other Turtles are his enemies... leading to a dramatic conflict between Raph and the others, before Raph regains his memory. (Yeah, I know Stan Lee and Jack Kirby did it in the FANTASTIC FOUR when the battered and disgruntled Thing is taken in and brainwashed by the Frightful Four and sent back to destroy the FF... but still...!)

I wonder also at the appropriateness of Raph going to the zoo to let off steam when he feels "caged". Wouldn't going there only make that feeling worse? To be among all those trapped, caged animals would only remind him of his own claustrophobic feelings living in the sewers, I would think. Perhaps the solution to this problem is to make this Raph's FIRST visit to the zoo (in other words let's not make it his regular hangout), which would give us opportunity for pithy self-reflective monologues from Raph about the connection he feels to these imprisoned creatures. He could, in fact, at first feel good that the poachers are taking the crocodile -- seeing them as freeing the beast... until, that is, he realizes that they're taking it as a trophy to be stuffed and mounted (or dried up and ground into aphrodisiac powder or whatever). 

I think it might be fun for Raph to have to follow the poachers as they roar out of the zoo with  the 'gator in their truck, chasing them down (on the SewerCycle? riding a zebra or a giraffe or an ostrich or an elephant or a rhino?) and battling them in an exciting series of fights on the moving truck. Then, once the poachers are defeated, Raph could have a moment when he considers letting the 'gator go free... but he has a realization that the 'gator is better off in the zoo, and he drives the truck back to the zoo.

 I also thought a funny bit might be to bring back the two cops from the first episode, and as Raph drives the truck by their squad car, the younger cop excitedly tells the other "Hey! I just saw a big turtle driving a flatbed truck with a giant alligator on the back!"... and the jaded older cop says, dismissively (just like he did in the first episode), "Rookie." (Or -- even more surrealistic, if the truck is trashed and Raph has to "rodeo wrangle" the 'gator back to the zoo -- the young cop could yell "Hey! I just saw a masked turtle riding a giant alligator!" That may be going over the edge a bit... or maybe not.)

In any event, I think we're missing some cool/daring/dangerous "alpha male" interaction between Raph and the big lizard. Does Raph get into his tank? Does Raph wrestle the 'gator? Feed him fishes?

Designs:

Mouser: Cool, but I need to see how the Mouser opens up to disgorge what it has caught.

The Lair: Also looking cool, but I'd like to see a floor plan for the various levels to get a better idea of what is going where. The "new turtle lair" schematic is somewhat helpful, but it's a little confusing -- for example, the way I'm reading it, the elevator behind the "secret door" appears to go up right through Raph's room.

Also, in the new lair that I have designed for the comics, I have included a sort of "moon pool" -- something a little like a well which the Turtles can close off if they need to but which ordinarily allows them to slip out into the river underwater through a maze of tunnels. Is there a plan to include something like this in the lair on the show?

--Peter

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Subj: Re: Laird's Lair
Date: Wednesday, July 17, 2002 7:16:19 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/17/02 6:09:04 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hey Peter -

Just wanted some feedback on the lair schematic we sent you asap - all work
regarding the lair is on hold until we get the official Peter Laird
blessing!

Lemme know.

Thanks,

Lloyd

PS - I'll be working from home tomorrow.  I'll call you at
12:30! >>

Lloyd,

I was not very happy with the fax of the lair "floor plan" today. This thing has all three levels overlaid and jammed into one very confusing (at least for me) drawing. I need to see a separate drawing for each level, please. It would also help me if there were some indication of where doors are located. And I still don't get what's happening with that "secret door w/elevator" -- is the dotted line/rectangle supposed to indicate the door? the elevator? both? a vestibule? Is the door to the elevator the same width as the elevator? It still looks like it shares space with a room directly above it.

--Peter

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Subj: Re: Laird's Lair
Date: Friday, July 19, 2002 12:44:22 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/18/02 5:18:28 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Me again -

Wanted to know if you got the updated lair drawings.  I very much want
to discuss these with you before you split on vacation, so call me (or
lemme know where I can track you).

Thanks Peter -

Lloyd>>

Lloyd,

I did get the lair plans and they are much less confusing. Thanks! A few comments:

1.) On the revised drawing of the upper levels, is it safe to assume that the shaded in areas are currently non-defined spaces (guest rooms, storage, etc.)? If so, fine.

2.) I didn't see bathrooms anywhere. Will each Turtle's room have one? That would be cool, albeit perhaps not necessary, but I think there should probably at least be a kind of general access bathroom on the second level, perhaps next to the kitchen. While I don't expect we'll ever need to show one of our characters using the toilet, there will probably be other opportunities to show Turtles taking bubble baths, brushing their teeth, checking themselves out in the mirror, getting aspirin for a killer headache after a big Foot fight, etc..

3.) The "pool with bridge" on the bottom level looked in an earlier drawing like something that might well have come out of a Japanese garden. I assume that this was not here when the Turtles found the place, and has since been installed by them...? If so, fine. Also, does this pool have any functional connection to my idea of the "moon pool" thing which I mentioned in an email a couple of days ago?

4.) I appreciate the clarification of the dotted lines around the secret elevator. However, it STILL appears that the body of the elevator (and the elevator shaft, of course) when used will pass directly through a room area on the upper level (superimposing the two drawings, it looks like it would take up  a small chunk of Mike's room and a bit more of the non-defined area next to Mike's room. 

I see two very simple/easy solutions to this problem: (A) Slide the hidden elevator to the side a bit (going counterclockwise) so that it passes through the undefined area on the upper level but misses Mike's room. (This actually could lead to a few funny repeating bits where Mike gets annoyed at the noise of the elevator as it rumbles past his room, disturbing him as he's trying to sleep or play video games or whatever. Or not.)  (B) Add a short corridor between where the hidden door (which get exposed when Mike hammers the railroad spike into the wall) is situated on the perimeter of the second level, so that the actual moving elevator car and its shaft are moved back to just beyond the perimeter of the upper level thereby avoiding any space on the upper level.

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I also got some other drawings which I will comment on:

Techno Foot Ninja (Revised): I like this version better, especially now that it's clear that this is NOT one of the  who will be battling the Turtles in one of the early episodes (I think it's "The Way of Invisibility") but I think the lightning bolts on the chest have to go -- they really give the costume a campy retro look which I feel is inappropriate here. I like the short-cropped Mohawk hair thing, but I wonder if it would be cool to have different Techno Foot have different designs as opposed to one basic rectangular cut shape. They could be mathematical symbols, formulae, or just cool shapes. And just as a heads-up for when we get to it, I think the design we came up with for the "new look" Foot for the Rainbow project would make a good basis for the design of the "fighting"  Foot Tech warriors. I think you have that art, but if not, we can send you copies.

Mouser: This looks good, and I would say "mouser w/open mouth" and "mouser w/exposed hatch" can go to clean-up.

--Peter

1 comment:

  1. It would be weird to watch the TMNT using the toilet for you know what I mean. Even if one of them get sick and wants to throw up.

    ReplyDelete