Blast from the Past #569: June 4, 2008: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three, Re: TMNT Movie Part Three: one more thing, and Re: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three

Subj: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 11:25:36 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on TMNT169 movie part three first draft


1.) Re: the following:

"’88 LEO
Rescued?  By who?"

Minor grammar question -- should it be "whom" instead of "who"? Not entirely sure, but I think so.


2.) Re: the following:

"’88 DON
<GULPS> Um, chill pill needed.  <POINTING TO HUN>  Isle one!"

Minor spelling point -- I think it should be "aisle", not "isle".


3.) Re: the following:

"ON ’03 MIKEY: Delighted! Slapping knees in a fit of hysterics!
’03 MIKEY
HAHAHA!  You know what they say, Raph, you play with fire - eventually you get burnt! HAHAHAHA!!!
’88 MIKEY AND RAPH (O.S.)
<POPPING UP BEHIND HIM> WET WILLY!!!
’03 MIKEY
YAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!! <TOPPLES!>"

This bit seems somehow out of place and unnecessary -- I'd suggest removing it. 


4.) Re: the following:

"KRANG (OVER ACTION)
<BOOARRRGH!> You’re not the only slug with a molecular amplification bio suit, ya know!
… but Utrom Shredder STOPS the punch half way with his mighty SLEDGEHAMMER FIST! Krang’s hand  <SHATTERS>!!!!
UTROM SHREDDER
But mine actually WORK!"

I think it should be "But mine actually works!"
Also -- would Krang really refer to himself as a "slug"? I think the line would work if you replaced "slug" with "one".


5.) Re: the following:

"UTROM SHREDDER
And YOU!  You’re very existence is an embarrassment to me!  How dare you call yourself THE SHREDDER!!!!!!"

Another minor spelling thing -- it should be "Your", not "You're".


6.) Re: the following:

"’84 DON
Raphael’s right. Keep your stupid dimension hoping nonsense to your corner of the Multiverse.
’84 MIKEY
Dimension hoping.  Totally lame."

Minor spelling point -- "hoping" should be "hopping".


7.) Re: the following:

"’03 DON
Cowabunga. Let’s go home.
<FLASH!> On that the ’03 characters teleport away!  Just as…
The Technodrome rockets up and <ZAP!> disappears in the sky, CAMERA following its motion and, once it goes, settling on…"

I don't remember ever seeing the Technodrome fly. In fact, seeing as it is just returning to its own dimension, shouldn't it just teleport away like the '03 Turtles just did? For a more interesting visual, perhaps it can do so as it starts rolling away on its big tractor treads, maybe appearing to be about to crash through a building but PHASING into it instead and disappearing.


8.) Re: the following:

"’84 DON
Wannabes.
’84 MIKEY
I dunno.  I kinda dug the colored headbands."

A slightly weird problem here -- given that the '84 Turtles live in a black and white universe, how do they perceive COLORS? Maybe we could skirt that issue and still get this gag in by changing '84 Mikey's line as follows:


"’84 MIKEY
I dunno.  I kinda dug the initials on the belt buckles."


9.) Sorry this one is out of order, but... re: the following:

"PULL OUT on Turtles and…
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
INT. ART STUDIO OF EASTMAN AND LAIRD – CONTINUOUS
LIVE ACTION FOOTAGE: we continue our pull out in ONE SEAMLESS CAMERA MOVE with the animation now revealed to be happening in a panel (see refs above) from issue one (the ’03 and ’88 turtles replacing the ’84 turtles in panel)!  And as we continue to pull out, we see that we’re looking at…  an ACTUAL COMIC PAGE form issue 1 on the DRAWING TABLE of Eastman and Laird! 
From O.S., we hear coats and keys being grabbed…
PETER LAIRD (O.S.)
I think the 1st issue is coming along rather well!  Don’t you, Kevin?
KEVIN EASTMAN (O.S.)
Sure do, Pete.  Let’s get back to it after lunch!  
… then a door opening and CLOSING!"

As much as I find this scene charming and fun, I have to say that I don't think it really fits in with the story... UNLESS...


... this is the way the three-parter ENDS, instead of on this:

"… but they are already GONE, lost from sight within a glorious black and white shot of the shimmering ’84 comic New York Skyline - reminiscent of ’03 skyline that opened Part One as…
… end credits roll!"

What if the final shot is, in fact, that New york skyline... but it is seen as the live-action camera dollies in or pans to the drawing board, with that piece of artwork (the original comic book page) on it? That might make for a cool ending/beginning.
FYI -- if this live-action bit does in fact make it into this project, and you want to make it as true to the real deal as possible, I can probably dig up a couple of photographs of what our "studio" looked like back in the day -- it was actually our small living room, and neither of us had an actual drawing table; we used lap boards instead, while sitting in our ratty old stuffed chairs.
Also, I think I used to refer to Kevin as "Kev", much as he didn't call me "Peter", but rather "Pete" as used above.


----------------------------------------------


Well, as you can see, my comments on this chapter are mostly pretty minor. I commend everyone who worked on this project for -- in my opinion -- pulling off a very difficult feat, and creating something that should (depending on what the finished animation actually looks like) be a wildly entertaining ride through the Multiverse. 
Cowabunga! (And thank you!)


-- Pete

------------------------------------------


Subj: Re: TMNT Movie Part Three: one more thing
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 11:51:20 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Just wanted to add this to my last comment:


       Another option -- as the four '84 Turtles make their exit from the scene, it could lead up to them leaping at the "camera", which "freezes frame", revealing the poses they had in the first double-page spread (pages 2 and 3) from the first issue of TMNT. The camera could pull back from that... you could do all the stuff described in the live action segment above (the off camera voices of me and Kevin, the coats and keys being grabbed, etc.)... the camera could keep moving, panning over bottle of ink and  toner chemicals, brushes, scattered sketches, dirty socks, disc guns (Kevin and I used to pepper each other with the "flying disks" from these things while working), etc., finally panning over to that page with the NYC sunset, and stopping there. Fade-out, the end/beginning.


-- Pete

-------------------------------------------------


Subj: Re: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 12:52:47 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 6/4/08 12:49:41 PM, Lloyd writes:

<<Hey Pete –

 As always, I had quite a few more notes than you did, but I couldn’t be happier that you’re pleased with what we’re doing with this thing!  I really feel like it’s a worthy 25th anniversary special, ya know?!

 Listen, one MAJOR adjustment I wanted to make was the whole “Turtle Spirit” thing at the end of part three.  I don’t mind the idea of there BEING a Turtle Spirit, but I do mind the idea that all the Turtles failed to stop Shredder and then this thing comes from out of nowhere and solves the problem for them.  Also, it smelled a little like the end of that proposed Hallmark Turtles project (when all the Turtles’ spirits merged) which, at the time, you weren’t too fond of.  Anyway, I’m hoping to adjust, tweak, rewrite, or completely change this aspect of the finale.

 Any comments?>>

Lloyd,


When I read that, it didn't strike me as particularly bad or particularly good -- but more as a serviceable way to end the conflict. If you can come up with something better/cooler/stronger/faster, I'm all ears! (Or eyes, I guess.)


One thing that I do remember now that I wanted to comment on but forgot to do so was the fact that -- if I read it correctly -- '84 Shredder gets knocked off the building (by some thrown nunchuks, I think) and is never seen again. Is that right? And if so... is that RIGHT?


-- Pete