Blast from the Past #634: October 12, 2003: re: outlines for Eps #'s 54, 55, and 56, October 16, 2003: Re: Que pasa?, and October 26, 2003: Re: Sh#38 Revised Client Models

Subj: re: outlines for Eps #'s 54, 55, and 56
Date: Sunday, October 12, 2003 12:31:20 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

I have a few comments about the outlines for Episodes 54, 55, and56, as follows:

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Episode 54/"Space Invaders" Part 1

1.) Re: the following:

Zanramon (VO):  "We have taken many casualties, sixty percent of our forces have been wiped out … why we have inflicted much heavier losses upon the Federation scum."

I believe that "why" should be "while".

2.) Naming the President "Potus" is clever, but how about "Patrick Otus" instead?

3.) Re: the following:

CUT TO:  DRAMATIC SHOT-  Triceraton Crafts ominously entering earth’s atmosphere. (the cause of the electronic probs and outages.)

PARIS – night time in what’s known as the City of Lights – but not for long, as city lights flicker and FRZZZZZ…. and FRAZZLE.  Eiffel Tower suddenly hard to see.  We hear TIRES SCREECH as cars dovetail and CRASH as traffic lights, streetlamps and car headlights flicker and fritz.

The implication here is that the Triceraton ships are somehow -- deliberately or inadvertantly -- responsible for power outages. I commented on this in the premise stage when the writer suggested that the Triceratons are able to disable Earth's power grid, and I made the point (which I still think is valid) that the ability to do that SERIOUSLY undercuts any ability Earth's military forces have to fight back (unless, of course, we can make clear that somehow the military is able to run all of its computers, planes, tanks, rockets, ships, etc. with electricity from some other source). 

However, I thought of another way to explain these power interruptions which wouldn't require a lot of extra stuff: perhaps whatever technology the Triceratons are using to keep their asteroid ships from plummeting to Earth -- I'm thinking it's some kind of anti-gravity or repulsor technology -- creates a "cone of effect" underneath each asteroid ship (maybe at maximum about three times the diameter of the ship itself), within which "cone" the gravity disruptions also cause power fluctuations.

4.) So what exactly is Casey trying to tell April when they are out to dinner? 

5.) Zanroman says "You will immediately turn over the one known as Fugitoid..." I think that should be "the Fugitoid".

6.) Re: the following:

General:  "You heard the commander and chief…!"

Isn't that "commander IN chief"?

7.) There are several Earth cities wiped out by the Triceratons. Have we decided whether they are actually destroyed or "stolen" as I suggested in an earlier email?

8.) Re: the following:

"Cool mini-chase, as Casey tries to flee the swooping Triceratons -- zipping around abandoned cars, people, etc.  But Triceratons get the drop on them – Casey gets taken, but April manages to get away."

I'm not clear how this is supposed to work -- isn't April at least as saturated with transionic particles as Casey, and thus couldn't the Triceratons easily track her? I suppose some finessing of this could be done by having April slip into a handy storm drain, thus cutting down on the ability of the Triceratons to sense her particles, but I wonder why we have to have her escape at all. Why not have her captured along with Casey? She could use a ShellCel to call the Turtles to let them know what's happened.

9.) Re: the following:

HIP HOP TEEN (unwilling): "Yo, G -- chill.  Homeboys got wizzee on da bizzee.  Them weapons is cold."

I have no clue what "wizzee on da bizzee" is actually supposed to mean, but, regardless, I strongly suggest getting rid of it because my gut feeling is that this ludicrous style of slanging will be really dated by the time this episode finally airs.

10.) The whole bit with the Turtles coming up from the sewers into the lion's cage (!!!) made me want to hurl. I had another "Fred Wolf moment" while reading it. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Also dumb is the following bit where the Turtles use a "ruse" to trick the Triceraton troopers into running into the lion. Gag! Too silly and totally unecessary.

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Episode 55/"Space Invaders" Part 2

1.) Re: the following:

"The immense dark shape of the Triceraton HomeWorld moves into foreground, covering earth in its gigantic shadow."

The Triceraton homeworld is not big enough to cover Earth with its shadow.

2.) Re: the following:

"Leonardo takes off running and the other two follow him.  Casey shouts to them that he and April are going to see that the other people affected by the transionic particles get out of New York safely."

Doesn't it seem a bit much for Casey to say that he and April are going to save all of these people?

"Casey (to April): We’ve got to get out of the Big Apple before it turns into the Big Applesauce!   We’re next on the list after Beijing! "

How does Casey know that about Beijing?

3.) Re: the following:

"US General: (slowly puts down phone) Our attacks have failed on all fronts on a worldwide scale. On land, sea and air the aliens have achieved military supremacy.

A dark-haired General from India stands and addresses the group.

Indian General: Then we must send in the next wave.
Japanese General: I move to initiate Operation Justice Force!"

Something about this seems REALLY silly to me. These three -- Silver Sentry, Ananda, and Metalhead -- are the "next wave"? Not much of a wave if you ask me. It also strikes me that the Justice Force and other superheroes would act on their own initiative, not wait to be given the okay by the military. And I think we need more (and more powerful) superheroes to make this work.

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Episode 56/"Space Invaders" Part 3

1.) Re: the following:

"Don tries to convince Zanramon that he had no idea his brothers were on board the ship. "

So what? Why would Zanroman care?

2.) Re: the following:

"As the Uniformed Guard ushers the four Turtles through a HIGH-TECH CORRIDOR, Don turns to his brothers incredulously.

Donatello: "Guys, why didn't you back me up in there?""

I just don't get Don's line here. It seems to make little sense.

Also, while this scene is significantly less clunky than in the premise, it's still weird. Zanroman acts quite casual when the other Turtles show up -- shouldn't he recognize them as the creatures who abducted him and stole his spaceship, and at least be a little pissed?

-- Pete

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Subj: Re: Que pasa?
Date: Thursday, October 16, 2003 10:18:45 PM

From:  Peter Laird

To:    Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 10/15/03 8:07:18 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hey Pete -

I got a really sweet e-mail from our mutual pal Ryan Brown today.  He just
wanted to say how much he's been digging the show and how thrilled that
LeatherHead was going to be in an episode!  It was really nice of him!

In other news, just wondering if you've had a chance to listen to the voice
casting we sent out for Usagi?  I've also sent an inquiry to Stan and I'm
hoping to hear back from him tomorrow.

Call me if you need anything!

Lloyd >>

Lloyd,

Nice that Ryan got in touch. If memory serves, I think he created Leatherhead.

I listened to the Usagi voice casting CD -- I like the second voice actor. However, I would bow to Stan's opinion on this one.

-- Pete

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Subj: Re: Sh#38 Revised Client Models
Date: Sunday, October 26, 2003 1:23:31 AM

From:  Peter Laird

To:    Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 10/25/03 2:23:47 AM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hiya Pete -

No, they're not much different at all!  I had just requested that we add
some "light-up" elements to both the porpoise headset and the TurtleBot
for a little extra "tech" feel.

Have a great weekend!

Lloyd

PS - Send me your notes on the premises when you get a chance!  I
haven't spoken to you in almost a MONTH!  I'm having withdrawals!

PPS - Speaking of withdrawal, how are you coping with the Segway
recall?!!! >>

Lloyd,

I read the premises today -- they seemed pretty short. I couldn't really find anything that I had issues with, though I suspect there will be some stuff to work out once we get into the details.

A couple of comments:

1.) It would be nice to better integrate Shredder, Karai and Traximus into this story arc... but only if it makes sense.

2.) I sure hope we can come up with a good way for the Triceratons and Federats to be defeated ("fall to our heroes") at the end of Episode 59, and as well in the end of this whole space war arc. An idea which just occurred to me -- and it may not be any good, but I thought I should throw it out here anyway -- is that perhaps there is a super-super-secret project... perhaps a joint/group project among the great nations of our world... which has been developing weapons and technology for the last five decades, in an effort to be ready for what this group's organizers consider to be the inevitable alien invasion (they didn't predict it would be Triceratons and Federats, but they know SOME kind of invasion was likely at some point in Earth's future). OR... maybe it's a secret project which WAS designed to deal with one or more asteroids which might at some point be on a collision course with Earth (something that I believe is actually on the planning boards), and at a critical moment this technology is turned against the space fleets of the Triceratons and Federats.

It also just occurred to me that it might be fun to reveal an as-yet-unknown aspect of the Shredder and his power manipulations, and that is that he is involved somehow with the development of these super-super-secret weapons, perhaps using his knowledge of Utrom technology to enhance these weapons. It might be a good way to get him more involved in the plot.

-- Pete

P.S. That Segway recall is (as far as I can tell) really silly and lawyer/liability-driven -- it's basically about stupid people (who don't pay attention as they should) getting a little banged up because they ignored a variety of VERY obvious warning signs. I'm not sending any of mine back.

P.P.S. Re: the dimension-hopping arc we're going to do -- I spoke with Mike Dooney about involving his "Gizmo" characters in that arc, and he's up for it, so if it works, that might be cool. Also, I can't remember if I told you this, but I talked to Jim Lawson about having one or more of the Turtles visit the "Planet Racers" universe and he's definitely up for it, as am I. And I was thinking that if we DID go there, it might be worth it to investigate doing all or most of the animation of the racing bikes with CGI (like certain shots of the BattleShell have been done).