Subj: Re: Nano?
Date: Wednesday, June 18, 2003 12:08:14 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
In a message dated 6/17/03 3:15:50 PM, Lloyd writes:
<< I did get both messages, thanks!
You'll have to tell me of your conquest of Greylock in greater detail!
Lloyd >>
Lloyd,
Here's the email I sent to my family (plus attached photo):
"Greylock has been conquered by Segway!
After my failure to make it all the way up on my last attempt, due to insufficient battery life, I had a plan: I would take the fully charged batteries out of a second Segway and carry those in a backpack. When the first set of batteries ran out (approximately 2/3 of the way up), I would stop and swap the fresh batteries for the depleted ones.
Now, imagine a package of Fig Newtons made out of lead. That's roughly the right size and almost the right weight of ONE of the Segway's two batteries. Suffice it to say, that was one HEAVY backpack. My back is still aching from carrying them all the way up and down Greylock.
This time, the batteries ran out just about where they had last time. I pulled over next to a pretty little waterfall (lots of those on Greylock today after all of the recent rain), and set to swapping batteries. There are four hex-head (Allen) bolts holding each battery pack onto the base of the Segway, so eight total. You'd think that wouldn't be a big deal. It's not... except for the fact that the heads of these bolts each sit about two inches inside a protective recess, which is hard to see into when you are trying to fit the Allen wrench into the Allen bolts. Fussing around with this took me about twenty minutes, but it all came together, and I had two fresh batteries.
So I did make it all the way to the top, even though there was not much to see today -- the summit was pretty foggy (see attached photo of me with the tower barely visible in the background). I had about 2/5 charge left when I got to the top, and made it down safely (thank God for regenerative braking!). All in all, it took me about four hours, round trip.
Cowabunga!"
-- Pete
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Subj: Ep. 37/"Modern Love: The Return of Nano"
Date: Wednesday, June 18, 2003 12:14:51 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
Here are my comments on Ep. 37/"Modern Love: The Return of Nano":
1.) To better set up Casey's nervous "It's NOT a date!" bit in line 28, I suggest changing the first part of that line to "I'll pick you up around ten. Hey, maybe we can grab a late night snack or somethin'..."
2.) I'm sure this is already being thought about, but Nano should look different this time around, beginning with the "junk baby" we first see him as. Maybe Jim Lawson should work up some designs like he did last time.
3.) Nano is smashing things in the amusement park, the Turtles show up in the Battleshell, and April runs over and says (line 135) "It's going nuts, tearing up the place!" I think it would be better if before she says that, either she or Casey says something like "Am I glad to see you guys!"
4.) Grammar Alert!!! In line 137, Don says "try and". It should be "try to".
5.) I think we're REALLY pushing the envelope with the quick fix Don thinks up to defeat Nano, though I'm willing to let it go. However, calling what they create a "particle accelerator" is just too much! I suggest eliminating lines 158 and 159 entirely, and changing line 160 to read "And the resulting intermittent multipolar flux should create the electromagnetic pulse!"
6.) In general, I think this draft is an improvement However, it is still very much like the original "Nano", especially the ending (Turtles fight Nano, Nano is destroyed, Harry is taken away by cops). I wonder if we should consider having a different ending, one perhaps in which Nano is NOT defeated by the Turtles, but instead -- after the requisite pitched battle, of course -- escapes with his "parents" in some kind of bizarre flying machine it has created in its "Nano" fashion... and the last image we see of Harry and Dr. Richards is their horrified faces at a window in the flying machine as it zooms off into the distance, off to find some isolated location where it can recreate its "home" and "family". I kind of like this twist because instead of Nano AGAIN being punished for his innocence, the less-than-perfect "parents" get THEIR comeuppance.
(Hmmm... I just had a wicked "deja vu" -- did we discuss something like this already?)
-- Pete
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Subj: Re: SCAT
Date: Thursday, June 19, 2003 3:07:33 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
In a message dated 6/18/03 11:42:15 AM, Lloyd writes:
<< Hey Peter -
Listen, as we can't use Kevin's image in your interview for the DVD extra,
we could really REALLY use the cover of SCAT! We need something to cut to
while you're telling the story of how you guys met (to cover up several
audio edits that help make you sound more eloquent than you actually were
that day!). If we don't come up with something we will have to lose that
sequence.
A Scat cover would really fit the bill. And we need it yesterday.
Lemme know!
Lloyd >>
Lloyd,
I scoured my archives (okay, I looked for five minutes) and found one copy each of Scat 1 and 2. Both have my art on the covers, which I have scanned at 150dpi and will now send you. Hope it's adequate! Attached to this email is the cover for Scat #1.
-- Pete
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Subj: storyboards for Ep. 33/"Secret Origins Part 2"
Date: Thursday, June 19, 2003 4:14:39 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
I've looked over the storyboards for Ep. 33/"Secret Origins Part 2", and don't have much to say, except that on pages 240 and 241, it seems a little silly (and a little dangerous, due to possible ricochets) that the National Guardsmen would be firing RIFLES at the shuttered TCRI building.
-- Pete
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Subj: Ep. 38 second draft and Ep. 39 second draft
Date: Friday, June 20, 2003 3:35:41 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
Except for the stupid "ineffectual development" mistake which I made and which was carried over to the script, I'd say this second draft of Ep. 38 is fine.
I'm still not happy with the way Don finds the cure for the monsters in the second draft of Ep. 39. This version is worse than the last. As an example, we see Don displaying some kind of sophisticated computer graphic simulation about the crystals in one scene, and a page later he's banging on a crystal with a hammer and chisel -- and breaks the chisel! Very silly.
I was under the impression that we WERE going to use the "crystal teaching dream" concept to get around the problem of Don somehow being so insanely brilliant that he can come up with a solution to ANYTHING.
Here's what I said about this in a previous email:
"I think from the beginning I've had a little bit of a problem with how Don is able to find/create a cure for these mutants to turn them back into human beings. As smart as Don is, it seems REALLY amazing for him to understand how to counteract the effects of the genetic mutations performed by the Foot scientists on these unfortunate people. All he has to go on is that (a) something the Entity did to them turned them back into humans, and (b) something about a particular proximity to the "crystal moon" keeps them that way. The level of knowledge of and expertise in genetics, biology, physiology and essentially alien technology required for Don to successfully come up with a cure is staggering, and I think really is quite beyond him.
That's why I think we need to keep the "crystal dream". To use another example from "Star Trek" -- remember the episode where McCoy is able to put Spock's brain back into his body through the assistance of the alien teaching machine? Well, in SORT of the same way, what if the crystal next to Don's head as he's snoozing acts as some kind of conduit from a vast storehouse of knowledge from the ancient underground race, and essentially works on Don's unconscious and causes him to wake up with the idea for the cure fully formed in his mind? This approach might also allow us some good character moments earlier where Don can be obsessing about the cure and his inability to find one, where he's beating himself up and berating himself as a "glorified gadget-maker", frustrated by one failed experiment and dead-end theory after another."
-- Pete
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