Sunday, September 9, 2012

Blast from the Past #590: August 15, 2002: Nano and storyboards for episode 2, August 16, 2002: e: See ya!, August 17, 2002: comments on "Garbageman" and "Shredder Strikes" first draft scripts, August 21, 2002: Re: FW: shredder's interior throne plus Nano, and August 22, 2002: Foot Tech Ninja




Subj: Nano and storyboards for episode 2
Date: Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:24:19 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

I have to say I am seriously underwhelmed by the new Nano designs. They are only about 1% better than the last group, in my opinion. They have a real half-assed feel to them... like the artist couldn't be bothered to actually draw anything (except MAYBE the lens/dial "eye") that looks like a recognizable piece of any mechanical artifact (which is what Nano is supposed to be comprised of, after all), instead throwing together a bunch of random forms (most of them looking like some kind of funky mummy wrappings) in a vaguely humanoid shape. Gary has suggested that we turn one or more of the Mirage artists loose on this design problem, and I think that's a good idea.

On a more postive note, I reviewed the storyboards for Episode 2 and have only a few comments:

1.) On pages 82-83, Splinter gets in Raph's way to stop him from leaving the room... and WHACKS HIM ON THE HEAD?! Hard enough to knock Raph on his ass? This seems rather violent and uncalled for on Splinter's part, given the needs of the situation.

2.) The upside-down pipe crawling scene on pages 212-216 is just as silly looking as I feared it would be when I read the original scene in the script. My recollection is that when we talked about it, you said the turtles would be clinging to the pipes with their arms and legs, shinnying along them -- NOT supporting their entire hanging body weight on those little hand climbing claws.

3.) On pages 250-251, as drawn, it looks like Raph punches his sais through the metal roof of the subway train and then slides backwards several feet, his sais continuing to slice through the roof as he slides. This seems unlikely to happen, given that sai blades are NOT edged like a sword.

Talk to you Thursday!

--Peter

----------------------------------

Subj: Re: See ya!
Date: Friday, August 16, 2002 11:28:44 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 8/16/02 3:35:22 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hi Pete -

While I'm away next week, please e-mail all your notes, questions, etc. to
Carole. She will forward all your comments to the proper folk.  But please also copy me on all yer e-mails.

I'm hoping to hear back from you today on:

* Nano design>>

     I sent another email with one design Jim did for Nano 1. I think he'll have Nano 2 and 3 designs done tomorrow.

<<* Subway scene show 2>>

     Not exactly sure what you mean by this...

<<* Response to new exo-skeleton design we faxed>>

     Better. However, if we are going to go with this sleeker version (less "mechanical" than the Utrom exoskeleton from the comic books), I think it would behoove us to see (for ourselves, not for this episode) a drawing of a complete and non-damaged version of this exoskeleton which shows how the Saki Utrom fits into it. I suggest this because what looks like the cavity in this exoskeleton into which an Utrom would go looks somewhat oddly shaped. I still think the original design from the comics works fine, but I'm willing to go with something new if it's appropriate.

<<* We also sent you a revised Foot copter (slightly sleeker, w/Foot
logo added in front)>>

     I like it. However, as I mentioned to you in our telephone conversation today, while I think this is fine for the needs of the episode in question, I think Gary's point about a "muscular" version of a Foot helicopter bristling with weaponry is well-taken.  There's no reason that the Foot can't have more than one kind of helicopter. This could be the "stealth" version.

<<If you need me, feel free (well... not TOO free!) to call me on my cel phone.

Thanks for all your help dude!

See ya in a week!

Lloyd>>

     Have fun!

--Peter

----------------------------------


Subj: comments on "Garbageman" and "Shredder Strikes" first draft scripts
Date: Saturday, August 17, 2002 11:59:39 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,

I have a few comments on the "Garbageman" and "Shredder Strikes" first draft scripts, as follows:

----------------------------

"Garbageman"

1.) Shameless promotion dept.: On page 7, when the professor hands a comic book to Mikey, can it be a "Planet Racers" comic?

2.) On page 9, the Professor should say "I have a theory about that." (The "a" is missing.)

3.) On page 21, I don't get Raph's "Start hatin' it!" line. Also, when Mike says "If anybody forgot what we had for dinner... I think I'm about to find out...", I think it might read better if he says "If you guys forgot what we had for dinner... I think I'm about to remind you..."

4.) On page 30, the word "this" is missing in the line "If that's true then (this) guy's Superman."

5.) Just so we don't say the word "garbage" too much, I suggest changing the Garbageman's line near the bottom of page 32 to "I'll dispose of this genetic refuse!"

-------------------------------

"The Shredder Strikes"

1.) On page 1, it should be Donatello and not Leonardo who jabs Mike in the gut with the end of the bo staff.

2.) On page 13, in Saki's last line at the bottom of the page, "you're" should be spelled "your".

3.) On page 22, Raph's change of heart and willingness to do whatever Leo wants -- in this case follow Master Saki -- seems a bit wrong, out of character for Raph. And it's unecessary anyway, because a moment later Leo decides that before they do anything he should talk to Master Splinter.

4.) On page 31, in Leo's line "It's not the weapon the matters.", the second "the" should be "that".

5.) On page 32, in Leo's line "Bring it... if you got the guts.", I would change "you" to "you've". (Less slangy sounding.)

-- Peter

----------------------------------

Subj: Re: FW: shredder's interior throne plus Nano
Date: Wednesday, August 21, 2002 12:44:33 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   JoEllyn at 4Kids

In a message dated 8/20/02 7:01:07 PM, JoEllyn writes:

<< Dear Peter:  We have faxed you Nano versions 1, 2 and 3 today based upon the drawings you sent us.  Thanks very much for the help on these models.  If you could, please let Carole your thoughts and comments on these models as soon as possible.  Your help in finalizing
these models is very much appreciated.  Thanks a zillion,  JoEllyn>>

I like these Nanos. I have only two questions/comments:

1.) I'm not sure how big they are compared to each other. There seems to have been a significant reduction in size of Nano 3 (not necessarily a bad thing) since previous versions, if you can judge by the relative sizes (as drawn) of the porcelain faces atop each body (Nanos 2 and 3). Whereas Nano 3 used to seem to be about three stories high, it now seems only a few feet taller than Nano 2, which I assume is meant to be about the height of a tall human. Perhaps a size chart is in order, with a Turtle figure thrown in for scale reference.

2.) A question has been raised about how Nanos 2 and 3 will make the porcelain masks rotate into a forward-facing position for purposes of changing expressions. (Right now, they seem to be mounted on some kind of gooseneck stalks.) I was thinking that a simple solution would be to use the rim of a truck wheel mounted horizontally, with the masks attached to the circumference of the rim... although I suppose there are many things like this (disco ball, oil drum, etc.) that they could be attached to which would give them the kind of quick spin/change effect which I think is desired.

--Peter 

----------------------------------


Subj: Re: FW: shredder's interior throne plus Nano
Date: Thursday, August 22, 2002 1:08:22 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   JoEllyn at 4Kids

In a message dated 8/21/02 6:12:56 PM, JoEllyn at 4Kids writes:

<< Dear Peter:  We are faxing you the Nano models with size comparisons today.
I hope this will help clarify these designs.  Also, have revised the
proportions of the heads and incorporated a tire wheel for the masks to rest
on.  Your thoughts on these designs as soon as possible would be most
appreciated as we are storyboarding this show.  Thanks a zillion JoEllyn
 >>

JoEllyn,

The size comparisons are fine, with one glaring exception -- if you use the size of the Turtle figure as a guide, then the porcelain heads on Nano 3 are about three times as large as they are on Nano 2. I don't recall anything in the script about the Nano being able to change the size of the masks, so unless someone comes up with a decent rationale for how they could accomplish this miraculous size change, let's keep them the same size in both versions.

A couple of suggestions for making the heads LOOK more proportional to the Nano 3's body:

-- have Nano 3 build a frame with some kind of magnifying lens, positioned in front of where his head should be, so that every time he rotates the wheel hub to which the heads are attached, the head which moves behind the lens appears grossly magnified.

-- have Nano 3 build something like the above, but make it a large video/computer monitor on which larger images of the masks can be displayed... this could add some visual flair because the faces could be shaken/spun/vibrated/shrunk/magnified/etc. on the screen, with cool color/design backgrounds.

--Peter

----------------------------------

Subj: Foot Tech Ninja
Date: Thursday, August 22, 2002 1:33:57 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Carole at 4Kids

Carole,

I received the three faxed variations on the Foot Tech Ninja. I assume this is supposed to be the fighting Foot Tech Ninja from the "Art of Invisibility" episode -- the one wherein the Foot Tech Ninja have their "cloaking" outfits.

While these are nice drawings, I think they are too extreme and too android-like. My feeling about these Foot Tech Ninjas is that they should be the first step forward (tech-wise) from our basic Foot Ninja. These guys look like they're about TEN steps forward. There's also very little "Foot-like" about them.

I would like to suggest something similar to the art I'm attaching to this email -- a drawing done for the Rainbow CGI project which I tweaked a bit.

--Peter

2 comments:

  1. Did you mean to leave Carole Weitzman's e-mail address an phone number in there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, and I have just removed it. I try very hard to redact such information, but apparently that one slipped through. Thanks for pointing it out. -- PL

      Delete