Blast from the Past #575:May 9, 2002: Re: Revised TMNT 101, May 11, 2002: Re: Revised TMNT 101, and Re: Stuff

Subj: Re: Revised TMNT 101
Date: Thursday, May 9, 2002 10:08:13 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 5/8/02 2:16:04 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hi guys -

Attached please find a somewhat revised version of the outline for TMNT 101. I think many of the questions raised in the previous notes and conversations have been addressed... many, but not all!  Since we did not come up with a clear consensus about what to do with the new Turtle Lair, I tried a compromise approach:  the lair is not right under their noses, but far away and stumbled upon by accident, but I still have them finding it in the first episode (as opposed to making a longer story about finding it).  I hope you find this approach palatable!

I've sent this revised premise along to Playmates, as per Gary's instructions to share the development stages with them.  I've also forwarded it to one of our writers, Michael Ryan, to begin the first draft script.

Friday, I'm having a conference call with all four of our writers to discuss the series, story arcs and premise ideas.  I will pass on the material generated from that conversation early next week.

That's it.  Lemme know if I'm on the right track!

Lloyd

PS - I will be working from home tomorrow, Thursday, May 9, if anyone wants me!>>

Lloyd,

I'm liking it more and have only a few comments.

1.) As is, the first inkling the turtles have that the mousers are coming is that they hear scraping noises and then things start to shake, etc. I was wondering if it might make sense that Don would have rigged up some kind of early warning system to alert them to the proximity of uninvited guests... and if that (bells, beeps, sirens, synthesized voice, flashing lights, whatever) could be part of the announcement of the mousers' arrival.

2.) In the epilogue, you have Splinter absently twirling a mouser head on his finger. Nice image, but very un-Splinterlike. I could see Raph or Mike doing something like that -- Splinter might hold it in his paw and gaze at it thoughtfully (think Hamlet and the skull in that famous scene).

3.) I appreciate that you have changed Leo's dialogue to narration in the Preview, but I have to comment on your line where you have Leo saying in response to the Purple Dragons' threats "We're not the ones about to get our butts beaten...". In the original comic's first issue, in response to the "Nobody trespasses on Purple Dragon turf and gets away with it... especially when they're wearing stupid turtle costumes!" line, Leo says "He's wrong... we're not wearing costumes." I've always liked that line, and here's why -- in very few words, and in a cool way, it establishes very quickly and without bombast exactly how freakin' tough the turtles are. You would expect that in response to the threat line from the gang, a hero character would respond with some kind of "No, we're gonna beat YOU up!" kind of thing... but instead, displaying total confidence in their abilities in kick butt ninja action, Leo ignores the threat as if it is totally unimportant.... and instead corrects (at least in his head, and to the reader via his narration) the Purple Dragon's misperception of the turtles as just some guys wearing turtle costumes! That to me speaks volumes. (I wish I could claim it as mine, but at this late date I can't remember whether I wrote that line or Kevin did.)
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not so wedded to what we did in the books that I'm not open to new and better things. I just think that little exchange is one of the pithiest things we ever did in the comics to show what BADASSES the turtles are.

4.) I can live with them finding a new lair in the first episode, as long as it is significantly far away from the old mouser-trashed one. However, I still think it could work better in the second or third episode, and I think we should keep that in the back of our minds as we work on these first few episodes.

That's all for now!

--Peter

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Subj: Re: Revised TMNT 101
Date: Saturday, May 11, 2002 1:08:08 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 5/10/02 12:40:30 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hi Peter!

Thanks for the notes.  Ready or not, here I come:

1)  Personally, I'd like the Mousers attack to be a total surprise!  My take on alarms, etc. is that after this experience, the turtles realize the need for better security, and when they eventually move into the next lair, Don wires it up like Fort Knox!  If this doesn't work for you, lemme know and we'll have Don's perimeter alarm system activate.>>

Lloyd,

Actually I think it would work fine either way. Maybe we should wait till script time to decide (in case something pops up during development to affect it either way).

<<2)  I agree - Shredder doesn't twirl!  >>

I think you mean Splinter... but cool!

<<3)  I agree again.  The Purple Dragons' dialogue may change a bit, but Leo's (mental) response can (and should) be straight from da good book!>>

Thanks!

<<4)  Deal!  We'll continue to think on the lair.  One thought I had was that
in the beginning of episode 2 we could see the turtles back at their old
place, collecting possessions (including the TCRI container) that survived
the major mouser-trashing, loading the stuff onto a couple of "SewerSleds,"
and transporting it to the new lair via cool SewerSled action.  When we get
to the lair, Don is busy wielding/working on lair improvements.  The idea
being, just 'cause they find it at the end of episode 1 doesn't mean it has
to be all there, done, finished.  It can still evolve.  >>

That's all good. Are you envisioning the SewerSleds as purely watercraft or some kind of amphibious rigs? One thing I'm trying to do in the new comic is to make the turtles lair a LOT harder to find... in the original comics we just had a little wall panel that opened up, and if you remember the first movie, they just had some rickety broken down wooden door that anybody could have seen and opened. So I think once we get them to this new lair we should show (without dwelling on it) that they can be secure in the knowledge that some sewer worker casually strolling down the tunnel won't find their lair.

--Peter

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Subj: Re: Stuff
Date: Saturday, May 11, 2002 1:17:47 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 5/10/02 3:27:52 PM, Lloyd writes:

<< Hi Peter,

A couple of quick questions:

1)       What was that Shaolin (sp?) saying regarding confrontation that you
quoted in our first meeting?  "Avoid...?"  It might be something Splinter
can paraphrase.>>

Kevin and I actually did a short turtle comic story (I think it was published in one of the role-playing game books) with this as a central theme. As I recall, it goes something like this: "Avoid rather than check, check rather than hurt, hurt rather than maim, maim rather than kill."

<<2)       If we do decide to make the turtles different sizes and shapes,
what are your feelings on who's tall, who's short, who's wide, etc.
Personally, I'm not so sure we should do it at all, but we are going to
(quickly) look at it.  For what it's worth, I had Leo as the tallest of the
group, then Raph and Don at the same height with Raph being considerably
more muscular, and Mike is the shortest.>>

I don't feel that radical size differences are really appropriate, but if we made some minor ones, they would be along the lines you mention. I like the subtle differences that Will Meugniot did for the WB project.

--Peter