"Blast from the Past" #572: June 23, 2009: Re: Hey howdy hey, July 3, 2009: Re: A few more quick questions..., July 4, 200: Re: A few more quick questions..., July 10, 2009: Re: Send props! :), July 22, 2009: Re: Turtles Forever, and July 28, 2009: Turtles Forever

Subj: Re: Hey howdy hey
Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 11:46:17 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 6/22/09 12:30:58 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hiya Pete –
 
 Well, after more than 8 years, it looks like our collaboration on TMNT is drawing to a close.
 
 Damn!  I’m not finished with ‘em yet!  J
 
 Hey, do you think you might be free next week, Wednesday perhaps?  If I can get away from the studio here (we’re racing the clock to make our TMNT / ComicCon deadline), I thought I might come up to pester you about a few (very few) details of the 25th Anniversary Project, but mostly to hang out.
 
 Hope you and the family are doing well (and staying dry!).
 
 Cheers,
 
 Lloyd>>

Lloyd,


Good to hear from you! I don't think I have anything going on next Wednesday (that would be July 1?), at least as far as I know. Come on up!


-- Pete

----------------------------------------------------

Subj: Re: A few more quick questions...
Date: Friday, July 3, 2009 11:40:42 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/2/09 11:44:46 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –
 
 I thought of a couple more questions today, so here they are:
 
What kind of paper was the (in)famous original sketch(es) of the first Ninja Turtle made on?  Drawing paper?  Scrap paper?  A napkin?>>

Lloyd,


As I recall, it was just an 8.5 by 11 sheet of white paper.

<< Where did you put your brush when you were putting it down?  On a tray, palette or put-down bowl?  On a paper towel?  In a cup? >>

If I was using my brush (i.e. inking with it), I generally wouldn't put it down until I was finished with it. Then I would rinse it off (to get the ink out of the bristles), very likely in an old mug or cup I would keep next to my chair. I might have had another mug or cup to store the brush(es) when not in use, pointing brush-end up.

<<Same question for ink pens.>>

Same answer, basically.

<< Do you remember what color sweater Kevin might have worn?>>

No... but it was probably something with darker colors, and probably not much int he way of patterns.

<<Would it be cricket to sneak a Frank Miller Daredevil comic somewhere into the shot, or nah?>>

Given that we dedicated the first issue to both Frank Miller and Jack Kirby, I think it would be very cool to have books by BOTH of those guys somewhere in the shot, if legally feasible.

<<These are the burning issues that keep me awake at night, so lemme know.>>

Always glad to help you get your beauty sleep!
 
<< Again, great seein ya yesterday!>>

Ditto!
 
<< Lloyd
 
 PS – Hey, I really enjoyed TMNT issue 30!  Glad to have it back!>>

Thanks, Lloyd!
 
 <<PPS – Captain T’Zirk?!  Hmmmm, how’d ya come up with that one?!  J>>

It WAS pretty obvious, wasn't it?


-- Pete

------------------------------------------

Subj: Re: A few more quick questions...
Date: Saturday, July 4, 2009 12:30:52 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/3/09 12:36:53 PM, Lloyd writes:

And any particular Kirby?

My preference would be anything from "New Gods", "Forever People", Mister Miracle", or "The Demon".


-- Pete

-------------------------------------

Subj: Re: A few more quick questions...
Date: Saturday, July 4, 2009 12:30:02 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/3/09 12:27:39 PM, Lloyd writes:

Here’s another one:
 
 What did you use to rule lines with?  A regular wooden ruler (like a school ruler)?  A straight edge?  T-square (wood or metal)?
 
 The office is closed today, but I’m here rearranging furniture and shooting a test of this scene.  Woo –hoo!
 
 Lloyd

Lloyd,


I probably had a plastic ruler.


-- Pete

--------------------------------------------------------

Subj: Re: Send props! :)
Date: Friday, July 10, 2009 11:02:33 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/2/09 12:29:40 AM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –
 
 As always, it was great seeing you today.  I’m glad you were up for it.
 
 I’m just dropping you this quick reminder to send me the duo-tone bottles (and anything else you think might be worth sending).>>

Lloyd,


I hope you got the bottles -- I asked Katie to send them a few days ago. And it was great to see you, too!
 
<< Oh, and in case you’re watching the DVD tonight, keep in mind that the voices for the original comic book Turtles that are in there now are just temporary scratch-voices.>>

That's good to know. I enjoyed watching all of it... I think it will make a lot of people happy! (Even without the original Fred Wolf cartoon voices!)
 
 <<Be well… and thanks for a nice Wednesday!
 
 Lloyd
 
 PS – Hey!  We forgot to go to the comic shop! J>>

Yes, we did... how did that happen?!


-- Pete

-----------------------------------------

Subj: Re: Turtles Forever
Date: Wednesday, July 22, 2009 11:12:18 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 7/22/09 4:20:02 AM, Lloyd writes:

<<Hey Pete –
 
 First, I wanted to let you know that we’re putting the finishing touches on the 25th Anniversary DVD project even as I type these words - - very exciting (and exhausting)!  And then I rush home, pack, and fly out to San Diego to hand deliver the tape.  Whew!  We’ll just make it!
 
 To properly courier this rare and valuable animated treasure, I requested an armored attaché case with an unbreakable adamantium chain that I could handcuff to my wrist, but when it was pointed out to me that if anyone really wanted the tape they’d just cut off my hand I realized maybe I just better carry it in my backpack.
 
 Second, tomorrow a DVD of the entire finished spectacle will be overnighted to you. If possible, I suggest you watch it Friday night, right around the time they screen it in San Diego.

 Or not.  J
 
 At any rate, I really hope you enjoy it.>>

Lloyd,


Although I have been involved in a few "right smack up to the deadline" projects in the past, I don't think any of them compare in complexity to this thing you've been working on. You have my congratulations. (And thanks!) I look forward to watching the finished piece. I hope the fans in SD give you the proper appreciation.
  
<< Finally, as I suspected, I was laid-off earlier today (my last actual day is Friday – the ComicCon screening will be my last official Turtles’ duty).  You and I already talked about all this, and I don’t wanna get all mushy in an e-mail, so just know that I hope we get to work together again sometime.  
 
 And stay in touch!>>

It's never a whole lot of fun getting laid off, but at least it didn't come as a complete surprise to you. Cold comfort, that... but I suspect you will land on your feet. The industry needs your talent.


And hey -- I don't mind mushy emails! To reiterate what I said to you when you came up to visit, the experience of working with you over the last seven (eight?) years has been great -- I'd definitely put it in my top five TMNT-related work experiences. You know, it's possible that you and I worked together on the show longer than Kevin and I worked together on the comics.
I also hope we can keep in touch and possibly work together on something in the future... maybe something not related to Turtles (at least THESE Turtles).
 
<< I’ll let you know how things go at ComicCon.>>

I look forward to your report... and if you'd like, I could put it up on my blog.
 
<< Thanks mucho amigo,
 
 Lloyd
 
 PS – I love(d) bein’ a Turtle!>>

Thanks man -- it was great having you as part of the team!


-- Pete

-------------------------

Subj: Turtles Forever
Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2009 8:43:16 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Lloyd,


     I don't know if you are still in SD or back home, but I must offer my congratulations for a job well done. From what I have heard so far, the response to the showing of "Turtles Forever" was wildly positive. I hope you got lots of strokes out there!
     I actually got two calls from Mirage guys -- Eric Talbot and Steve Lavigne -- who called me all the way from SD just to tell me how awesome they thought it was.
     Now... two questions:


     1.) Emily desperately wants a copy she can watch at home (she loved it too, and even told me that she teared up in a couple of spots). Is it okay if I make her a copy? I also suspect my brother Bruce (TMNT fan #1) would love to see it.


     2.) I've seen online a bunch of comments about how cool it would be if there could be a east coast showing of "Turtles Forever", hopefully sooner rather than later. Any thoughts on that?


     Once again, congratulations!


     -- Pete

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So… it looks like that's the end of my emails between me and Lloyd (and a few other 4kids staff members) regarding the TMNT tv show. Not a bad way to end our run, I think, with "Turtles Forever", which I see as a pretty cool piece of work.


However… this is not quite the end of these "behind the scenes" emails, as -- if you remember back this far -- when I started posting these, I actually started with a post from August 1, 2003 (http://peterlairdstmntblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/blast-from-past-296-notes-from.html), which was near the beginning of the development of the show, but there were still some months of work prior to that point… and I think I may have some of those emails, as well. I need to check to see if I successfully saved them from an older computer, and if I did, I will start posting them shortly. -- PL

Blast from the Past #571: February 12, 2009: Re: Too cool, March 13, 2009: TMNT 25th Anniversary Stuff, March 19, 2009: Re: FW: TMNT 25th Anniversary Stuff, April 6, 2009: Re: Pete tape

Subj: Re: Too cool
Date: Thursday, February 12, 2009 10:34:51 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 2/11/09 11:40:15 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –
 
 We really sweated over ‘em, revising and revising until we got something that totally resembled the original book, but still worked as an animated background!  I’m really happy you like ‘em!>>

Lloyd,


I think your hard work paid off -- when I look at these images, my first thought is "Did we draw those?" Very well done.
 
<< To be honest, I do think posting these would give too much away.  The way the 25th Anniversary special is constructed, the introduction of the original comics Turtles and their (b&w) world comes as a completely unexpected surprise.  Fans will be thinking that the whole special is about the 2003 Turtles meeting and fighting alongside characters from the 1988 world, and that’s it.   The inclusion of the 1984 Turtles and world should come as a big kick in the pants when it happens.  So I think if you leak these it kinda lets that cat outta the bag.  The fans who attended the animation panel I did at the Con on Sunday know that the ONLY upcoming project at the moment is the 25th Anniversary Special, so I’m not sure playing it the way you suggest would really throw anyone off the scent.  What do you think?>>

You're probably right. I guess I'm really itching to start teasing this thing, but it can certainly wait. While I was driving Steve Lavigne part of the way back to Maine a couple of days ago, I mentioned (after swearing him to secrecy, of course) the fact that the b/w Turtles would be appearing in the special , and he thought that was a WICKED cool idea. So maybe that was in my head when I got the art from you.
  
<< Tomorrow I’m taking my family on vacation, but I’ll give you a shout when I get back (around the 23rd) and we can cook up a plan to get together.
 
 Great seeing you Pete!
 
 Lloyd>>

Enjoy the vacation, man!


-- Pete

------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: TMNT 25th Anniversary Stuff

Friday, March 13, 2009 11:02 AM

From: Peter Laird

To: Lloyd Goldfine

 Hey Pete –

  

 While we’re all anxiously awaiting the first of the animation to arrive from Korea (next month), I’ve been getting everything organized on this end.

  

 One thing that I wanted to ask you about was if you are still interested in doing the “live-action” ending that features your voice and Kevin’s voice.  I’ve attached that section of the script below so you can refresh your memory.  After you check it out, let me know if we should proceed (i.e. I’ll need to arrange voice records of both you and Kevin, get props, shoot the shot, composite, etc.).

  

 Hope all is well.

  

 Lloyd

  

 "TRACK THEM – roof running, classic TMNT ninja-style; the city their playground, racing toward cam, which rockets back as they race forward; soundtrack swelling as…

 1.  *’84 leo (v.o. over action)

 We are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… We strike hard and fade away… <ON FINAL LEAP> Into the night!

 *… they LEAP to overtake Cam, but – CAMERA FREEZE FRAMES!  The Turtles are frozen mid-leap - poses identical to the first double-page spread (pages 2 and 3) from the first issue of TMNT!  

 *Holding on that image…  PULL OUT and…

 match dissolve to:

 *int. art studio/living room of eastman and laird – continuous

 *LIVE ACTION FOOTAGE: we continue our pull out in ONE SEAMLESS CAMERA MOVE to reveal we’re looking at THE ACTUAL TWO PAGE SPREAD on a real world drawing board.  CAMERA keeps pulling out wider to reveal – we’re in the “art studio”/living room of EASTMAN and LAIRD (NOTE: Camera is in close.  We only see artwork, artists tools, and hands – we never clearly see either Eastman or Laird)!  Camera settles, when from O.S.:

 2.  *peter laird (o.s.)

 I think the first issue is coming along rather well!  Don’t you, Kev?

 3.  kevin eastman (o.s.)

 Sure do, Pete. Let’s get back to it after lunch!

 *An O.S. door <OPENS>…

 4.  *peter laird (o.s.)

 Pizza?

 5.  *kevin eastman (o.s.)

 Pizza!

 *… and <CLOSES!>  The SCREEN goes BLACK… and END CREDITS roll! "

 The End

  

---------------------------------------------

Subj: Re: FW: TMNT 25th Anniversary Stuff
Date: Thursday, March 19, 2009 10:02:17 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 3/18/09 5:27:03 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey there Pete –
 
 Didn’t hear back from you on this, so I’m resending.
 
 I suspect you’re enjoying the nice stretch of weather on your bicycle, motorcycle, etc.!
 
 Let me know your thoughts after you check this out.
 
 Cheers,
 
 Lloyd>>

Lloyd,


D'oh! Sorry, man -- I thought I had already responded to this email. 


I confess I am at this point somewhat ambivalent about doing the voice thing for this bit of the special. While I still think that ending is a great idea, I'm just not sure if my 55 year old voice is really appropriate. (I'm not sure Kevin's would be at this point, either.) 
I'm assuming that you wouldn't use either of us for the visuals -- that would best be done with more youthful (albeit faceless for this purpose) actors... right?


I have been enjoying the good weather... except today is kind of crappy (drizzly rain). At least it's not snow...!


-- Pete
 
-
-----------------------------------

Subj: Re: FW: TMNT 25th Anniversary Stuff
Date: Thursday, March 19, 2009 8:40:44 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 3/19/09 1:36:07 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –
 
 Yup, we’re only planning to show hands, etc.  There won’t be any faces.
 
 I think we really should at least try it with your real voice and Kevin’s real voice.  The lines are short, and I seriously doubt anyone is gonna say, “Geez, get a load of them geezers!”  J  I’m pretty sure we can pull it off, and I think the authenticity, the fact that is really you (and Kevin, unless you don’t want him included), really puts the cherry on top of this 25th Anniversary sundae!
 
 Whaddya say?!
 
 Lloyd (aka Mr. Persistent)>>

Lloyd,


Okay, I'll give it a try!


-- Pete

----------------------------------

Subj: Re: Pete tape
Date: Monday, April 6, 2009 8:01:18 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 4/6/09 3:42:16 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –
 
 For the last shot of the 25th anniversary special (the live-action shot), we need authentic looking copies of “original page art” from the first issue to prop the scene.  Gary suggested I check with you to see if you had anything hidden away in your files that would be worth using.  I don’t believe the two pieces he pasted below match the comic closely enough.
 
 Lemme know.
 
 Thanks,
 
 Lloyd

Lloyd,


I don't know if you have a copy of this, but some years ago we published a squarebound "facsimile" issue of TMNT #1 wherein the original artwork was photographed in color and printed in color. Even though it was done for a black and white book, the Duo-Shade paper we used to  do the art on had a nice somewhat sepia color cast to it once the tone chemicals were applied. I would suspect that this could be what you need -- maybe scan the pages or color copy them onto some sturdier paper (card stock?) in the right size (I think the originals were about twelve inches high).
If you don't have a copy of this edition, I think we still have a few at the studio -- Gary could probably send you one.


-- Pete

Blast from the Past #570: August 20, 2008: Re: Hey howdy hey!, September 17, 2008: Re: Howdy, October 3, 2008: Re: Lifting the Gag Order!, and October 23, 2008: Re: You don't call... you don't write...

Subj: Re: Hey howdy hey!
Date: Wednesday, August 20, 2008 11:13:35 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 8/18/08 10:46:10 AM, Lloyd writes:

Hiya Pete –

 Long time no see! ;)  Just thought I’d drop you an e-mail to check in.

 Things are jumping here at Turtle Central!  In addition to working on the post for the first few episodes, we’ve been cooking up the new Main Title visuals and mixing the final version of the main title song (remember the song contest?).  So the series is moving ahead like gangbusters and the big CW network premiere is on September 13th.>>

Lloyd,


I got the tape with the main title sequence, and -- even though it was unfinished -- thought it looked cool. The one thing I was a bit disappointed in was that I couldn't understand a lot of the lyrics -- maybe that will be fixed in the final mix.

<< We’ve also received all the sections of the storyboards for the big TMNT 25th Anniversary special and lemme tell you that puppy is shaping up to be an extravaganza!  All the voice casting has been done with the exception of one or two roles, and actual recording has already begun!  I’ve gone through the storyboards over the past few weeks and made copious revisions, and next Thursday I’m going to begin cutting the animatic for part one!  I cannot tell how excited I am!>>

Great! I'm really looking forward to this one.

 <<A while back you mentioned that you might have some reference materials re: the old Mirage Studios, something we keep in mind for the last scene of part 3 where we hear you and Kevin.  If you have that stuff handy I wouldn’t mind seeing it, though keep in mind I still haven’t figured out how we’re pulling off that sequence yet.  We should also speak about how best to get that final bit recorded, but there’s time for that yet.>>

I will try to find those photos -- there are probably only a few of them, showing Kevin and me in our stuffed chairs in the living room of the Dover, NH house.


-- Pete

----------------------------------------

Subj: Re: Howdy
Date: Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:51:50 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 9/17/08 10:11:32 AM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –

 How ya doin’?

 Just droppin’ you a note to update you on the 25th Anniversary DVD project.  For the past three weeks we’ve been cutting the animatics, and Pete – this thing is packed to overflowing!!  This week we’re working on part three, the big finale.  I’m currently cutting the sequence where the city is disappearing all around the Turtles and the two Donatellos (’88 & ’03) can’t get the dimensional portal stick to work!  The scene is really working well!  It’s particularly cool when they disappear at the last possible second… only to reappear in the black and white world of the first ever issue of the TMNT comic!!!!

 I’m really excited about this one.  The biggest problem we have is getting everything we want crammed in there!

 Hope everything’s good on your end.  J

 Lloyd

 PS – did you ever find those photos of you and Kevin working on the original comics in the original “studio?”  Lemme know.>>


Lloyd,


Nice to hear from you! Things are pretty decent here. My daughter is coming home for a couple of weeks -- I have to drive to the airport around midnight tonight to pick her up.


I'm glad to hear the special project is moving along well -- I'm very excited about this. Here's a question -- will the new Turtles in it have the original white eye look that we used up through "Fast Forward", or the new look with the eyeballs?


Also, how and when should we start dropping hints about this project? How much should we let on?


I'll keep looking for those photos -- my filing system is not what it should be!


I don't know if you've been following the online reaction to "Back to the Sewer", but from what I see it is mostly positive.


-- Pete

---------------------------------------------

Subj: Re: Lifting the Gag Order!
Date: Friday, October 3, 2008 1:09:58 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 10/2/08 5:15:56 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete -

 Happy October!

 I owed you an answer re: talking to the fans regarding the 25th Anniversary Project.  I finally caught up with Norman and we spoke briefly about it, and while plans for announcing and promoting the thing haven’t been solidified yet, he agreed that it’s be more than fine for you to begin to let it be known that something special is in the works, and even that the Turtles from the original show are gonna be meeting up with our green team supreme.  I think you could have some real fun with it!

 Let me know if this answers yer questions.

 The animatic is kicking my ass, but it’s coming out great, so it’s worth it!

 Hope all’s well with you and the gang!

 Lloyd>>

Lloyd,


Thanks for the update. I will immediately begin to flood the Internet with all the details.


Just kidding!


I promise to to be as discrete as possible while simultaneously teasing our potential audience with frustratingly incomplete nuggets.


-- Pete

----------------------------------------------

Subj: Re: You don't call... you don't write...
Date: Thursday, October 23, 2008 9:15:32 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 10/23/08 3:01:57 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete –

 How goes it?

 The 25th Anniversary Extravaganza is coming along nicely.  What’s gratifying for me (someone who is maybe too close to the project) is that everyone else working on the project in any connection, from interns to designers to editors to storyboard artists to voice actors… EVERYBODY is incredibly psyched about it.  ;)  If this is our swan song (a sad thought), at least it’s one hell of a way to go out!

 Hey, I was thinking that this thing doesn’t really have a title.  Given the infinite-dimension aspect of the storyline, combined with the idea that this is a summation and celebration of 25 years of TMNT goodness, I’d like to suggest “Turtles Forever.”  On the plus side, it’s dramatic, evocative, and it speaks to both the story and the anniversary.  On the minus side, it reminds me of that awful Batman movie (but they gave it the “forever” name for no good reason).

 Anywho, let me know your thoughts.

 Hope you folks are doing well and keeping warm.

 Cheers!

 Lloyd>>

Lloyd,


Good to hear from you! I am managing to stay warm, but I can feel the winter approaching the the inevitable hanging-up of the motorcycle helmet.


I'm glad to hear that everyone is into the 25th anniversary project -- I am very psyched to see it.


As for a title... I don't really have a problem with "Turtles Forever". But how about just flipping it around -- "Forever Turtles"? It essentially says the same thing, but with a whiff of Jack Kirby ("Forever People") and Bob Dylan ("Forever Young").


-- Pete

Blast from the Past #569: June 4, 2008: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three, Re: TMNT Movie Part Three: one more thing, and Re: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three

Subj: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 11:25:36 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on TMNT169 movie part three first draft


1.) Re: the following:

"’88 LEO
Rescued?  By who?"

Minor grammar question -- should it be "whom" instead of "who"? Not entirely sure, but I think so.


2.) Re: the following:

"’88 DON
<GULPS> Um, chill pill needed.  <POINTING TO HUN>  Isle one!"

Minor spelling point -- I think it should be "aisle", not "isle".


3.) Re: the following:

"ON ’03 MIKEY: Delighted! Slapping knees in a fit of hysterics!
’03 MIKEY
HAHAHA!  You know what they say, Raph, you play with fire - eventually you get burnt! HAHAHAHA!!!
’88 MIKEY AND RAPH (O.S.)
<POPPING UP BEHIND HIM> WET WILLY!!!
’03 MIKEY
YAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!! <TOPPLES!>"

This bit seems somehow out of place and unnecessary -- I'd suggest removing it. 


4.) Re: the following:

"KRANG (OVER ACTION)
<BOOARRRGH!> You’re not the only slug with a molecular amplification bio suit, ya know!
… but Utrom Shredder STOPS the punch half way with his mighty SLEDGEHAMMER FIST! Krang’s hand  <SHATTERS>!!!!
UTROM SHREDDER
But mine actually WORK!"

I think it should be "But mine actually works!"
Also -- would Krang really refer to himself as a "slug"? I think the line would work if you replaced "slug" with "one".


5.) Re: the following:

"UTROM SHREDDER
And YOU!  You’re very existence is an embarrassment to me!  How dare you call yourself THE SHREDDER!!!!!!"

Another minor spelling thing -- it should be "Your", not "You're".


6.) Re: the following:

"’84 DON
Raphael’s right. Keep your stupid dimension hoping nonsense to your corner of the Multiverse.
’84 MIKEY
Dimension hoping.  Totally lame."

Minor spelling point -- "hoping" should be "hopping".


7.) Re: the following:

"’03 DON
Cowabunga. Let’s go home.
<FLASH!> On that the ’03 characters teleport away!  Just as…
The Technodrome rockets up and <ZAP!> disappears in the sky, CAMERA following its motion and, once it goes, settling on…"

I don't remember ever seeing the Technodrome fly. In fact, seeing as it is just returning to its own dimension, shouldn't it just teleport away like the '03 Turtles just did? For a more interesting visual, perhaps it can do so as it starts rolling away on its big tractor treads, maybe appearing to be about to crash through a building but PHASING into it instead and disappearing.


8.) Re: the following:

"’84 DON
Wannabes.
’84 MIKEY
I dunno.  I kinda dug the colored headbands."

A slightly weird problem here -- given that the '84 Turtles live in a black and white universe, how do they perceive COLORS? Maybe we could skirt that issue and still get this gag in by changing '84 Mikey's line as follows:


"’84 MIKEY
I dunno.  I kinda dug the initials on the belt buckles."


9.) Sorry this one is out of order, but... re: the following:

"PULL OUT on Turtles and…
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
INT. ART STUDIO OF EASTMAN AND LAIRD – CONTINUOUS
LIVE ACTION FOOTAGE: we continue our pull out in ONE SEAMLESS CAMERA MOVE with the animation now revealed to be happening in a panel (see refs above) from issue one (the ’03 and ’88 turtles replacing the ’84 turtles in panel)!  And as we continue to pull out, we see that we’re looking at…  an ACTUAL COMIC PAGE form issue 1 on the DRAWING TABLE of Eastman and Laird! 
From O.S., we hear coats and keys being grabbed…
PETER LAIRD (O.S.)
I think the 1st issue is coming along rather well!  Don’t you, Kevin?
KEVIN EASTMAN (O.S.)
Sure do, Pete.  Let’s get back to it after lunch!  
… then a door opening and CLOSING!"

As much as I find this scene charming and fun, I have to say that I don't think it really fits in with the story... UNLESS...


... this is the way the three-parter ENDS, instead of on this:

"… but they are already GONE, lost from sight within a glorious black and white shot of the shimmering ’84 comic New York Skyline - reminiscent of ’03 skyline that opened Part One as…
… end credits roll!"

What if the final shot is, in fact, that New york skyline... but it is seen as the live-action camera dollies in or pans to the drawing board, with that piece of artwork (the original comic book page) on it? That might make for a cool ending/beginning.
FYI -- if this live-action bit does in fact make it into this project, and you want to make it as true to the real deal as possible, I can probably dig up a couple of photographs of what our "studio" looked like back in the day -- it was actually our small living room, and neither of us had an actual drawing table; we used lap boards instead, while sitting in our ratty old stuffed chairs.
Also, I think I used to refer to Kevin as "Kev", much as he didn't call me "Peter", but rather "Pete" as used above.


----------------------------------------------


Well, as you can see, my comments on this chapter are mostly pretty minor. I commend everyone who worked on this project for -- in my opinion -- pulling off a very difficult feat, and creating something that should (depending on what the finished animation actually looks like) be a wildly entertaining ride through the Multiverse. 
Cowabunga! (And thank you!)


-- Pete

------------------------------------------


Subj: Re: TMNT Movie Part Three: one more thing
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 11:51:20 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

Just wanted to add this to my last comment:


       Another option -- as the four '84 Turtles make their exit from the scene, it could lead up to them leaping at the "camera", which "freezes frame", revealing the poses they had in the first double-page spread (pages 2 and 3) from the first issue of TMNT. The camera could pull back from that... you could do all the stuff described in the live action segment above (the off camera voices of me and Kevin, the coats and keys being grabbed, etc.)... the camera could keep moving, panning over bottle of ink and  toner chemicals, brushes, scattered sketches, dirty socks, disc guns (Kevin and I used to pepper each other with the "flying disks" from these things while working), etc., finally panning over to that page with the NYC sunset, and stopping there. Fade-out, the end/beginning.


-- Pete

-------------------------------------------------


Subj: Re: P. Laird comments on TMNT Movie Part Three
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 12:52:47 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 6/4/08 12:49:41 PM, Lloyd writes:

<<Hey Pete –

 As always, I had quite a few more notes than you did, but I couldn’t be happier that you’re pleased with what we’re doing with this thing!  I really feel like it’s a worthy 25th anniversary special, ya know?!

 Listen, one MAJOR adjustment I wanted to make was the whole “Turtle Spirit” thing at the end of part three.  I don’t mind the idea of there BEING a Turtle Spirit, but I do mind the idea that all the Turtles failed to stop Shredder and then this thing comes from out of nowhere and solves the problem for them.  Also, it smelled a little like the end of that proposed Hallmark Turtles project (when all the Turtles’ spirits merged) which, at the time, you weren’t too fond of.  Anyway, I’m hoping to adjust, tweak, rewrite, or completely change this aspect of the finale.

 Any comments?>>

Lloyd,


When I read that, it didn't strike me as particularly bad or particularly good -- but more as a serviceable way to end the conflict. If you can come up with something better/cooler/stronger/faster, I'm all ears! (Or eyes, I guess.)


One thing that I do remember now that I wanted to comment on but forgot to do so was the fact that -- if I read it correctly -- '84 Shredder gets knocked off the building (by some thrown nunchuks, I think) and is never seen again. Is that right? And if so... is that RIGHT?


-- Pete

Blast from the Past #568: May 5, 2008:Re: TMNT Movie Outline, May 19, 2008: P. Laird comments on TMNT movie part one first draft, P. Laird comments on 168TMNT movie part two first draft, and Re: P. Laird comments on TMNT movie part one first draft

Subj: Re: TMNT Movie Outline
Date: Monday, May 5, 2008 10:49:37 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Matt at 4Kids
cc: Lloyd Goldfine

Well... I'll be honest -- I had my doubts that this could be pulled off. But I have to say that I think you have done it!


I was actually chortling at several places in this story. Good job, everyone!


I do have a few comments to make on it, which I will do today or tomorrow. Nothing major, I think... probably just a few minor tweaks.


In general, I think this special project is going to kick ass and make a lot of fans happy.


Goongala!


-- Peter

--------------------------------------------

Subj: P. Laird comments on TMNT movie part one first draft
Date: Monday, May 19, 2008 2:43:37 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Matt at 4Kids
cc: Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on TMNT 167 Movie Part One  05-18-08


1.) Re: the following:

"ANCHROMAN
In the aftermath of the break-in, four bizarre green mutant creatures were sighted."

Why add "mutant" here? Why would the "anchroman" (love that spelling -- sounds like an alien from "Dr. Who"!) know they are mutants? I would think just "bizarre green creatures" or "bizarre turtle-like creatures" would be enough.


2.) Re: the following:

"’88 SHREDDER
Confounded Trans-Dimensional Portal!  I should’ve known!  It must have malfunctioned during the battle with the Turtles!  Zapped me to an entirely different dimension!"

Suggest changing "zapped" to "transported".


3.) Re: the following:

"’03 LEO
Look.  I don’t know who you are or where you came from but we just risked our shells busting you out of there and I think that entitles us to some answers."

Suggest "breaking" instead of "busting".


4.) Re: the following:

"Then quickly and stealthily snatch the ’88 Turtles, SLING them over their shoulders and take off.
EXT. NYC ROOFTOPS – MOMENTS LATER
WIDE – the ’03 guys race across the rooftops with the ’88 Turtles still slung over their shoulders.  Eventually Splinter leads them to the top of a secluded BRIDGE PASSAGEWAY between two skyscrapers (like the Petronas Towers have)."

I'm not too sure about this "slinging" business. As written, it seems like the '03 Turtles just grab the '88 Turtles and carry them off... and even though the 03' Turtles are badasses compared to the '88's, it doesn't seem likely that they could do that -- the '88 Turtles would fight back. Perhaps something could be added here -- like the '03 Turtle use some kind of ninja nets or something to ensnare the '88 Turtles and make it easier for them to carry them off.


5.) Re: the following:

"’03 SPLINTER
Indeed. Then it is clear what we must do.  We will help you defeat the Shredder and find this Technodrome. It is the only way to get you home."

Would it be better if Splinter said "your Shredder" instead of "the Shredder"? Also, the bit about finding the Technodrome because it's the only way to get them home sounds more like a Donatello line. I suggest breaking this set of lines up between '03 Don and Splinter as follows:


"’03 SPLINTER
Indeed. Then it is clear what we must do.  We will help you defeat the Shredder and find this Technodrome.


'03 DON Good idea, Master -- It might be the only way to get them home!"


6.) Re: the following:

"’03 LEO
So, uh, how do you guys normal handle these situations??"

I think that "normal" should be "normally".


7.) Re: the following:

"’88 Leo leads the ’88 Turtles in to charge the ’88 Foot Forces
’88 LEO, MIKEY, RAPH, DON
Cowabunga!
ON ’03 MIKEY – he smiles.  
’03 MIKEY
Works for me!  Cowabunga!
’03 Mikey follows the ’88 gang in. "

It seems like this would be a perfect time for '03 Raph to roll his eyes and groan.


8.) Re: the following:

"Suddenly, there’s a loud <BANG> at the Command Center’s MAIN BLAST SHIELD DOOR.
Both Krang and ’88 Shredder turn to each other with alarm…then over to the door to see…
It’s being DENTED IN from the outside!  Something wants in very, very bad!  
FADE OUT:
END ACT THREE


ACT FOUR


FADE IN:
INT. TECHNODROME – COMMMAND ROOM – CONT’D
RESUME with Shredder and Krang in the Command Room as something POUNDS away on the door.
Then, suddenly, there is POWERFUL EXPLOSION and the Main Blast Shield Door SHATTERS to BITS!
As the SMOKE and DEBRIS clears we reveal the intruder to be…
KARAI?!"

Hmmm... I'm not sure I get this. How is Karai able to batter her way through the Technodrome's Main Blast Shield Door?


9.) Re: the following:

"’88 Shredder charges at Karai, but she quickly DODGES out of the way and TOSSES him down to the ground, firmly PLANTING her foot on his chest.  She turns to Krang.
KARAI
Will you be nuisance, as well?"

I think that should be "be a nuisance".


10.) Re: the following:

"’03 DON
Guess we’re going to have to find another way to track the Technodrome.
’88 DON
Don’t worry.  I’ve got plenty of gear back at the lair.
’88 MIKEY
Lair?!  Gnarly!  I’d love to check out your digs!  Let’s go!"

Should that first line be spoken by '88 Don and the second one spoken by '03 Don?


11.) Re: the following:

"Hun looks up and recognizes the Utrom Shredder, his old boss.
HUN (WEAK)
F-Finish me...
UTROM SHREDDER
Finish you?  No.  You will serve me.  As you once did.  For the Shredder rises again!  And it begins now!  Hahaha!
WIDE – the Gangplank rises and the Technodrome RUMBLES off, passing briefly under a ray of moonlight that SHINES through an overhead ventilation shaft and REVEALS that the vessel is already under construction by legions of Foot Techs!"

A couple of things here are confusing. First, why is Hun so weak after being turned into a mutant from getting doused with the mutagen?


And what is this "vessel" which is "already under construction by legions of Foot Techs"?


-- Peter

-----------------------------------------------

Subj: P. Laird comments on 168TMNT movie part two first draft
Date: Monday, May 19, 2008 2:45:57 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Matt at 4Kids
cc: Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on 168TMNT movie part 2 first draft


1.) Re: the following:

"ADJUST TO REVEAL: Tech Ninjas <RIPPING> up and walking off with his command chair!  ’88 Shredder watches in dumbfounded shock.  A beat.  He turns back to Krang and smiles sheepishly."

Unless '88 Shredder has taken his metal mask off, how will we know IF he is smiling?


2.) Re: the following:

"MASTER SPLINTER
Enough!  You are all my sons.  More unites, than divides you.  But if you don’t stop this bickering, your enemies will not need to defeat you … because you will have defeated yourselves."

This seems like it would be a good place to have one of the '88 Turtles say something like "Huh... he may not look exactly like our Splinter, but he sure SOUNDS like him!"


3.) Re: the following:

"’88 LEO
Look, the reason we’re not stressed is because we’ve junked the Shredder and his goofy Technodrome plenty ‘o times!  In fact I’ve got plenty ‘o Anti-Technodrome gear back home… for just such an occasion!"

This line is attributed to '88 Leo, but I think it is really meant to be '88 Don's. Also, I think it would work better without the "goofy". 


4.) Re: the following:

"SPLINTER 
I don’t recall inviting guests.  
MUTANT HUN
Too bad. Company’s coming.  Courtesy of… <CU:> THE UTROM SHREDDER!"

Splinter's line sound silly. And would Hun say "UTROM Shredder" or "TRUE Shredder"?


5.) Re: the following:

"UP ANGLE: ’88 MASTER SPLINTER! He smiles beatifically.  
’88 MASTER SPLINTER
Welcome home my sons… and my sons."

I think '88 Splinter's reaction is a bit off. Perhaps a small change as follows:


"UP ANGLE: ’88 MASTER SPLINTER! He smiles beatifically.  
’88 MASTER SPLINTER
Welcome home my sons… 
'** MASTER SPLINTER notices the '03 Turtles... he raises a furry eyebrow.
'88 MASTER SPLINTER
...and... my sons...?"


6.) Re: the following:

"He PUNCHES a button!  The Portal activates, projecting a collage of clips and images from all incarnations of TMNT!  Comic books, live action, anime, action figures, the ’88 show, the ’03 show, the CGI movie!  It’s a dazzling, awesome sight to behold!"

And how about the "Coming Out of Their Shells" live rock show Turtles?


-- Peter

-----------------------------------------

Subj: Re: P. Laird comments on TMNT movie part one first draft
Date: Monday, May 19, 2008 10:16:45 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Matt at 4Kids
cc: Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 5/19/08 8:39:55 AM, Matt writes:

Thanks so much for the super quick turnaround, Pete.

Much appreciated,

Matt>>

Matt,


My pleasure -- it was fun to read!


There was one thing I forgot to include in my comments -- and that is how it seemed far too simple for Hun to figure out what the mutagen does and how to use it to make his mutant soldiers. Not that we have to go into it at great length, but right now it just seems like he sees the vial of mutagen, and then next thing you know he's using it to make mutant Purple Dragons.
Perhaps something as simple as having him open the vial (maybe he takes a whiff of it), and in the process possibly spills a drop or two on the ground, where it hits an ant or some other bug and mutates it... and Hun observes this and gets to thinking.


Actually, what could be REALLY wacky and cool might be this scenario: Keeping in mind the way the mutagen in the old series was supposed to work (if you're exposed to it, you mutate into a form with characteristics of the last type of creature you were near... not that this was ever totally consistent episode to episode, but that's another story). What if... just before Hun uncaps the mutagen, he sees a bug on his arm (ant or mosquito?) and he casually flicks it off, onto the ground. It is then THIS bug which gets the mutagen on it, and the bug turns into a weird Hunbug! Not human-sized, but perhaps ten times larger than it was. Hun could then either capture it to examine further or squash it.


  -- Peter

---------------------------------------


Subj: Re: TMNT Movie Second Drafts
Date: Monday, May 26, 2008 12:50:20 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Matt at 4Kids
cc: Lloyd Goldfine

I just have a few comments about part 2.


1.) Re: the following:

"*’03 LEO <TO CAM O.S.>
Any ideas what we should do next?
*Boom.  SIX ninja turtle hands ROCKET up into frame! 
‘03 LEO (SUSPICIOUS)
Other than going out for a slice.
Aaaaaand - four turtle hands go back down.  
*PULL OUT TO REVEAL: six ninja turtles sitting on the floor before Leo.  ’03 RAPH and MIKEY on one side; ’88 LEO, MIKEY, RAPH and DONNY on the other. The ’03 side still have their hands up; ’03 Raph stands slightly apart from group, leaning against a wall, looking annoyed and grumpy face. "

This is a little confusing. Why do "SIX ninja turtle hands" get raised? I like the gag of the '88 Turtles all wanting to go out for pizza when '03 Leo asks for ideas, but why are two of the '03 Turtles raising their hands? And then why do they still have their hands up after the '88 Turtles lower theirs? Am I missing something?


2.) Re: the following:

"ON SPLINTER – rising to feet – defiant!
*’03 SPLINER
You will never find my sons, Shredder!"

Minor point, but would Splinter's line work better if he said "Oroku Saki" instead of "Shredder"?


And while I'm on the subject... when I think back to the old '88 show, I keep hearing in my mind Krang's whiny/burpy voice calling for "Saki" (typically spoken in a drawn-out fashion like this -- "Saaaakiii") when he addressed the '88 Shredder. I think we should have him do that at least once in this project.


3.) Re: Hun's mutation -- I believe we discussed Hun being mutated into something which has some Turtle-esque qualities, yes? If so, it's not clear (at least to me) from the script that this is so.


And if he is indeed some kind of turtle-esque mutant, I wonder if it might be fun to give him some of the look of either Slash (the mutant turtle from Dimension X from the '88 show) or Tokka (the mutant snapping turtle from the second live-action movie)... while still keeping enough of Hun in there to be recognizable. (Should be an interesting design task!)


This stuff is fun, and I'm looking forward to seeing the conclusion.


-- Peter

Blast from the Past #567: April 16, 2008: Re: Hey Mr. Comicom!!

Subj: Re: Hey Mr. Comicom!!
Date: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 8:05:58 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 4/15/08 8:48:11 PM, Lloyd writes:

Hey Pete!
 
 Yesterday a box arrived on my desk from Mirage, and in it, much to my happy  surprise, I found the NEW ISSUE of TMNT!!!
 
 WOOOO – HOOO!  And also let me throw in a HALLELELUJAH (for good measure)!
 
 What a great way to start the week!  I just finished reading it and wanted to let you know I enjoyed it thoroughly.  I also realize that I have MISSED IT IMMENSELY!
 
 A question: was this written before you put the series on hold, after, or a little of both?  Just curious.>>

Lloyd,


Your enthusiastic words are MUCH appreciated... thank you! As for when I wrote it... I think I actually wrote the dialogue about a year and a half after Jim had drawn the book, so I guess that would mean about six or seven months ago. Now I'm curious -- why are YOU curious?
 
<< Some quick favorite bits:
 
 ·         I loved the Utroms sharing the “need-to-know” look between them  when Casey asks what they’ve been working on
 ·         Scary men’s room complete with alien urinals and tentacles visible under the toilet stall doors>>

I had originally planned to make that "alien bathroom" scene longer and goofier, with Casey -- in his inebriated state -- trying to figure out how to use some crazy looking alien toilet, and maybe even interacting in some embarrassing way with some alien in the bathroom... but it ended up working better as is, I think. I like the sense of melancholy Jim achieved in how he drew Casey taking a leak while thinking about April.

 <<·         Let’s hear it for Q.I.R. ladies and gentlemen!
 ·         Special cameo appearance by everyone favorite ninja femme fatale (especially yours) Karai
 ·         Gnotaga!
 ·         I have to admit I get a thrill outta seeing stuff from the show become part of the official comic canon (BattleNexus, Daimyo, Gyogi)>>

You know, I get a big kick out of that. I know I've said this before, but it probably bears repeating -- I'm really proud of being part of the team that did (is doing!) the new TMNT tv show. And it really is fun to have that kind of backwards integration (is that the right term?) of stuff from the new show into the comic. (Something that would NEVER have happened in the old Fred Wolf days!)

 ·       <<  The art is just great.  Jim kicks ass on this book, with a million great touches everywhere you look.  Great cover from Mike.>>

I agree! If you can, please find a moment to tell those guys that too -- they'd appreciate it!
  
<< Welcome back one and all!  : )>>

Thanks man!
 
<< Re: the Con, what’s the plan?  Gary tells me you’re there for the duration.  Any plans?  Any time better or worse to come by?  Lemme know.>>

I'll be happy to see you any time, Lloyd! (Although I am obligated to be at the NECA booth signing toy packages from 1 to 3 on Saturday, I believe.)
  
-- Pete

---------------------------------------

Subj: Re: Hey Mr. Comicom!!
Date: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 10:44:19 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 4/16/08 9:27:33 PM, Lloyd writes:

Oh, and by the way, I also meant to mention two additional things about the comic:
 
 ·         I think the way you’ve set about “distributing “ the book is VERY cool>>

Lloyd,


Thanks! So far, it is going pretty well -- I think Katie told me today that since the ordering info went up on the website Monday or Tuesday, we've gotten about 250 orders. I am still hearing (or reading online, actually) comments from befuddled Turtle fans who don't quite get what I'm doing with it, but I'm hoping that will pass. And so far I've done head sketches in 225 copies... I might do more, but I think that is enough for now.
 
<<Thanks so much for the kind words about season 7 (or is it 8?)!  All the 4Kids crew got a real kick out of it!  ;)>>

You (and the crew) are welcome! I'm looking forward to seeing these episodes animated.
 
<< I’ll try and drop by and see you guys Friday, and I’ll definitely be around Saturday.>>

Sounds good!
 
<< Also, you and I need to discuss the idea me and the guys have been percolating for the TMNT 25th Anniversary project!>>

Also sounds good!
  
-- Pete

Blast from the Past #566: March 14, 2008: Re: TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesDr3 and Re: Wedding guests, and March 19, 2008: Re: New Usagi model for approval

Subj: Re:   TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesDr3
Date: Friday, March 14, 2008 11:38:50 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on Ep. 166 Wedding Bells and Bytes third draft


I'd like to thank everybody who worked on this episode -- it obviously wasn't easy, especially having to put up with my persnicketiness! But I have to commend you all for the hard work to produce what I think will be a very fun and cool episode. This draft is fine by me, with the VERY small exception of the VERY minor points below.
I especially appreciate the inclusion of the several little character bits, which I think help to make this episode a lot more fun and give it more emotional content.
Thanks for a great job!


1.) Re: the following:

"*Meanwhile, has picked up a SMALL TRACTOR…
**And HURLS it at Raph, Mikey and Leo!  It CRASHES into them and DROPS them all right on their shells.
**Thoroughly beaten and battered, Raph, Mikey and Leo are down for the count."

WHO has picked up the small tractor? I'm assuming it's the Shredder, but it's not really clear.


2.) Re: the following:

"DISSOLVE TO:
**ON the ULTIMATE WARRIOR and his FATHER watching from a PORTAL in the BATTLE NEXUS…"


Minor point -- but shouldn't it be "Ultimate NINJA"? ("Ultimate Warrior" was a WWF wrestler, as I recall.)


-- Peter

-----------------------------------------------


Subj: Re: Wedding guests
Date: Friday, March 14, 2008 8:56:42 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

In a message dated 3/14/08 1:06:53 PM, Lloyd writes:

<<Hey Pete –
 
 Any other wedding guests you think should attend April and Casey’s nuptials?>>

Hmmm... Nobody? That Triceraton dude -- Traximus? Renet the TImestress?
 
<< Is it okay that the Rat King is there?  You’ve used him as a death figure in the past, so I worry if his presence makes him more of a party-pooper?>>

Yeah, it's fine. In fact, I would like to leave his presence there as ambivalent as I did when he showed up in Splinter's death scene in Vol. 4 of the TMNT comic. 
 
<< I’m thinking I’d also like to show that Cody is watching on a repaired time window.  Any Problem?>>

Can't see any particular problem there.
 
<< Lastly, as we do a final polish, can you (BRIEFLY!!!!) recount what you think is the key point to get across re: Shredder’s return from destruction and Don’s plan to finally defeat him?  I’d like to try and smooth out the techno-babble exposition a little better and I don’t want to accidentally enrage Mr. Persnickety!  ;)>>

When I read this most recent draft, I didn't have any problems with the way the Cyber Shredder's demise happened. I guess the biggest thing is -- if you feel it's necessary -- to make it clear that somehow the CyberShredder is not 100% physical because of whatever part of Viral which merged with him previously, and thus Don's use of a slightly-altered "decompiling ray" via Serling is what can be used to destroy him.
  
  -- Pete

---------------------------------------------------


Subj: Re: New usagi model for approval
Date: Wednesday, March 19, 2008 10:50:38 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Sarah at 4Kids

In a message dated 3/19/08 10:45:31 AM, Sarah writes:

Hello Stan and Peter-
 
 I hope all is well with you both.
 
 I have attached the newly styled Usagi for the 13th and final episode of this season, ”Wedding Bells and Bytes.”  Please let us know your thoughts as soon as possible.
 
 All the best-
 Sarah

Sarah,


I will defer to Stan's opinion here, but to my eye it looks fine... although aren't there supposed to be those "three dots in a circle" designs/decorations on Usagi's outfit? I think we had them there in Usagi's previous appearances.


-- Peter

Blast from the Past #565: March 5, 2008: Re: Cyber April for show 164 and Re: TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesDr1, and March 8, 2008: Re: TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesDr2

Subj: Re: Cyber April for show 164
Date: Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:54:55 AM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Sarah

In a message dated 3/4/08 3:51:54 PM, Sarah at 4Kids writes:

"Hello Peter-
 
 Please find attached for your approval the design of April in cyber gear for show 164.  Please let us know your thoughts as soon as possible.
 
 Thanks you-
 Sarah"

I think it's fine except for the odd "50's sunglasses" look on her helmet/headgear. I'm attaching a .jpg graphic with a "quick and dirty" tweak showing how it might be changed. Version A is the original, version B is the one I modified.


-- Peter

-------------------------------------------------

Subj: Re:   TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesDr1
Date: Wednesday, March 5, 2008 2:50:51 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on Ep. 166 Wedding Bells and Bytes first draft


Before I get into my specific comments, I have to say I am greatly disappointed in this draft, especially the second half, which almost seems like it was not written by whoever wrote the first half. There are many problems, but the main one seems to be that this whole idea of "Shredder-in-Splinter" (and now Splinter-in-Shredder!!!) just CAN'T be let go of by whoever was in charge of the writing of this episode. Very disappointing, as it turns what could have been a fun and dramatic episode into something very silly.


1.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO
Innumerous lines of programming code scoured…a myriad of bytes, nodes and diodes scrutinized!
CONTINUE PULL OUT to reveal Leo, Raph and Mikey all hovering over Don, looking at the same screen.
DONATELLO
But now, exactly two thousand, six hundred and ninety three nanoscopic data bits later…"

Code, bytes and nodes all seem to work together, but "diodes" for some reason seems out of place. Perhaps it's because the first three seem to be all software-related, and the fourth is hardware.
Also, I have to say that "two thousand, six hundred and ninety three nanoscopic data bits" seems to be an AWFULLY small number of data bits to make up a whole Splinter... UNLESS Donatello is referring to the last few remaining data bits which were the hardest to find.


2.) Re: the following:

"DONATELO
Alright…one…two…three!"

"All right", not "alright".

3.) Re: the following:

"There’s Sid, the Ancient One, the Ninja Tribunal, Karai and Chaplin, the Professor… "

Forgive me if this one was already asked and answered, but... Sid? And are the Turtles so friendly with Karai and Chaplin that they would invite them to the wedding? Somehow that doesn't seem right.
Also, I wonder if having the Ancient One and the Ninja Tribunal there is a bit much. I'm open to being convinced otherwise.


4.) Re: the following:

"Don sees a clearing up ahead, approaches it and peaks through some trees to see:"

"Peeks", not "peaks".


5.) Re: the following:

"The gang turns to find April peaking through the barn doors."

"Peeking", not "peaking".


6.) Re: the following:

"CYBER SHREDDER
But the electric current you sought to destroy me with simply transported my digital core back to cyberspace.
Suddenly, the Shredder lets loose an ELECTRIC BLAST that sends Leo crashing down and across the white runner.
CYBER SHREDDER
There, I was able to absorb the massive flux of energy…
The Shredder lets loose another electric blast that jolts Mikey back into a row of chairs…
CYBER SHREDDER
And reconstitute myself…
The Shredder lets loose yet another electric blast that sends Raph reeling into a back wall.
CYBER SHREDDER
To become more powerful than ever!"

I'm not really loving this "Electro-Shredder". Do we REALLY need him to be able to do this?


7.) Re: the following:

"LEONARDO
What have you done with Master Splinter?!
The Shredder gives a sinister smile.
CYBER SHREDDER
The same thing I did with that surge of electricity!  The rat is a part of me now!"

Oh, boy... this I am REALLY not loving.


8.) Re: the following:

"But Khan uses his speed to evade each attack and soon delivers a punishing strike right to Casey’s mid section with his STAFF - sending Casey reeling back into the Fugitoid…
Whose HEAD flies off and lands right in the middle of the battlefield like a soccer ball.
FUGITOID
Oh, dear!"

Incredibly dopey.


9.) Re: the following:

"MORTU
We did not come equipped with weapons to engage in such a battle!  
GEN
You’re telling me!  Trans-dimensional customs is a beast!  I was lucky to sneak this through!
GEN fires a little PEA LASER BLASTER just as a BEVY of HEAVY LASER FIRE BLASTS overhead forcing everyone to fall back."

What the hell is Gen doing with a "PEA LASER BLASTER"? And... "trans-dimensional customs"? WTF??!!!


10.) Re: the following:

"CYBER SHREDDER
And how I absorbed his very essence!  Now I have access to all of his skills and memories!  I know everything he has ever taught you!  All of your strengths…and…  
Soon the Shredder has them cornered in between a wall of flames…
CYBER SHREDDER
All of your weaknesses!"

Yeah -- really, REALLY not loving this, not at all.


11.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO
I thought it was some glitch in the conversion process…but it wasn’t.  It’s how the Shredder tracked us here—how he was able to absorb Splinter.  
APRIL
So how do we stop him?
OTS DON – we see the same data pulse images on screen as before.
SPLINTER
The electromagnetic pulse code inside Splinter…it’s still emitting a signal.  A tachyon extraction beam set to his exact coordinates might be able to pull Splinter out of the Shredder and stun him long enough to beat him.  "

Uh-huh -- really, really, REALLY not loving this one little bit.


12.) Re: the following:

"The FUIGTOID’S HEAD is still getting kicked around like a soccer ball by all the fighting and is just about to be stomped on when suddenly…"

Still incredibly dopey.


13.) Re: the following:

"USAGI AND KARAI are back to back, HACKING and SLASHING every FOOT SOLDIER that gets within range… 
KARAI
There are too many of them!
USAGI
Then should our blades dull, we will use them to bludgeon!"

I think a Karai/Usagi interaction, however brief, could be very cool. This, however, is not cool at all. Usagi's line especially is really lame.


14.) Re: the following:

"The Shredder flails in pain as we see an electric outline of Splinter being ripped out of him and becoming once again organic."

Hate it.


15.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO
Are you alright, Father?"

"All right", not "alright".


16.) Re: the following:

"SPLINTER
I have been inside him.  As he knew me…I now know him.  He has weaknesses.  
Splinter leaps to his feet and turns to Don.
SPLINTER
Fire at my command, son.
Splinter ninja leaps over towards the Shredder, tossing Foot Ninja out of the way with ninja precision.  He’s getting closer and closer to the Shredder until it is just the two of them.
CYBER SHREDDER
An annoyance to the last, rat!
CLOSE ON SPLINTER – he sneers and…
Unleashes a bevy of strikes!
The two exchange a lightning quick flurry of kicks and punches… 
But slowly the Shredder gains the advantage and kicks Master Splinter down to the ground.  
The Shredder then grabs him with one hand and picks him up and summons an ORB OF ELECTRICITY…
ON SPLINTER – the ORB reflects off of his eyes…this is what he’s been waiting for!  
SPLINTER
<TO DON> Now, my son!  The orb!
ON DON nearby in Turtle X he raises the BLASTER.
SPLINTER
Fire!  
CLOSE ON DON – his face twists with the memory of how, way back when, he decompiled his Father…
We FLASHBACK to the moment in TMNT154 when Splinter was first decompiled…
SPLINTER (O.S.)
Donatello!  
But Don suddenly snaps out of it and looks at Splinter."

This is really bad. The "I was inside him so I know his weaknesses", the "Spinter sneering", the "ORB OF ELECTRICITY", the fact that at this very crucial moment Donatello pauses to indulge in a guilt-ridden flashback.... good lord.


17.) Re: the following:

"FUGITOID
So, by the powers vested in my by, the twelfth galaxy subquadrant of Eleq-R’oHr, I now pronounce you man and wife! "

I believe that should be "me", not "my". Also, while I have bo particular objection to "the twelfth galaxy subquadrant of Eleq-R’oHr", I wonder if it might be better if we make a reference to something that has already been in the series, perhaps something incorporating "Peblak" and/or "D'Hoonib" (the city and planet where we first encountered the Fugitoid).
Actually, this thought just occurred to me -- will Casey and April's marriage be legal on Earth if the ceremony is performed by an alien robot with no Earthly legitimacy? I know this is a minor point, but bear with me... perhaps when it is first mentioned that the Fugitoid is "an ordained minister on the twelfth galaxy subquadrant of Eleq-R’oHr", somebody can bring up the issue of the legality of him officiating at a ceremony on Earth... to which the Fugitoid can reply that for that very reason he also has become -- perhaps through some mail-order deal -- a minister on Earth. (And if we want to inject further humor here, his "ordination" can be from something wacky like "The Church of the Risen Elvis" or something.)


-- Peter

----------------------------------


Subj: Re:   TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesDr2
Date: Saturday, March 8, 2008 12:23:54 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

P. Laird comments on Ep. 166 Wedding Bells and Bytes second draft


This version is slightly better than the first, but it still has serious problems.


1.) Re: the following:

"DONATELLO
I designed the cybermat portal to convert matter into code, so by reversing the polarity of the default stasis application, code should be able to be converted back into matter. 
LEONARDO
Sounds like you’ve got everything covered, Donny.
*ON MIKEY – scratching his head, thoroughly confused.
MICHELANGELO
Yeah.  Especially the big words."

I have no problem with the setup for the "big words" gag, but for Don to say that code "should be" converted back into matter seems a bit off. I mean, he and the other Turtles have been doing this matter-to-code-to-matter thing regularly for a number of episodes now. Why would he now express uncertainty in the process?
I suggest a simple change (replacing "should be able to" with "can"), as follows:


"DONATELLO
I designed the cybermat portal to convert matter into code, so by reversing the polarity of the default stasis application, code can be converted back into matter. 
LEONARDO
Sounds like you’ve got everything covered, Donny.
*ON MIKEY – scratching his head, thoroughly confused.
MICHELANGELO
Yeah.  Especially the big words."


2.) Re: the following:

"SPLINTER
Come, my sons, let us celebrate our reunion.  And the union of Casey and April is a most special and appropriate place to do it."

VERY minor point, but perhaps changing "it" to "so" would make this line read a little better, as follows:


"SPLINTER
Come, my sons, let us celebrate our reunion.  And the union of Casey and April is a most special and appropriate place to do so."


3.) Re: the following:

"CLOSE ON SPLINTER – his eyes bright.
SPLINTER 
The trials and tribulations of cyberspace are finally behind us.
PUSH IN on the PUPIL of Splinter’s EYE…
Where we see the faint trace of STREAMING BINARY CODE filled with 1’s and 0’s fall past CAMERA.  
They PULSE with intermittent FLASHES of RED!"

This still drives me nuts. It seems like a holdover from previous drafts which had the goofy Splinter-morphing-into-Shredder bit as the focus.
I'm going to finish reading this daft to see if it works out, but if not I will return to this comment and make a further suggestion.


4.) Re: the following:

"*Mikey dashes over to try and block Casey from viewing April.  
MICHELANGELO
Hey!  It’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony!
RAPHAEL (IMPATIENT)
First ya gotta have a ceremony."

There's something about this that doesn't work. Raph's line is weird -- I mean, if the idea is that you can't see the bride before the ceremony, then if you first have the ceremony, then you can see the bride... right? I'm not opposed to a line here indicating impatience from Raph, it's just that this one doesn't make much sense.


5.) Re: the following:

"*And FLAME GRENADES soar in, landing on the floor and EXPLODING with a FIERY BURST.  
*LEONARDO
We need to get these people out of here—now! 
*With a few NINJA KICKS, Leo BASHES a LARGE HOLE in the side of the barn and begins guiding the guests out through it.
LEONARDO
Let’s go!  Out of the barn!  Move! 
*Leo, Raph, and Mikey all help to corral April, Casey and all the wedding guests out through the hole."

There's something a little simplistic about this action. Think about it -- there are at least several guests at the wedding who wouldn't need Leo's help bashing a hole in the wall to get out. And why aren't there windows lower down in the barn which would (a) be a lot easier to get through than a wall, and (b) offer those inside a way to see what might be going on outside?
Not only that, but when you have "flame grenades" being tossed into the barn in which you are about to have a wedding, I think you MUST assume that there are probably some bad guys outside who are tossing them in. With that in mind, you don't just heedlessly rush out through the nearest convenient hole that's been bashed through a wall.


6.) Re: the following:

"EXT. CASEY’S GRANDMA’S BARN – CONTINUOUS
*All the wedding guests have escaped the burning barn only to find themselves facing a new quandary:
*An army of FOOT NINJA assembled outside and led by MASTER KHAN.
KHAN
Attack!!!
*The FOOT NINJA charge the bewildered wedding guests.
INT. CASEY’S GRANDMA’S BARN – CONTINUOUS
*RED HOT EMBERS fall from the barn’s infrastructure as Leo, Raph, and Mikey quickly place a barely conscious DON on the floor near the WEDDING CAKE and form a protective perimeter him.  "

This is pretty ridiculous, and not just because the wedding cake is in the barn where the wedding ceremony was about to take place. Think about it -- all of the other guests leave the now-burning barn... but the Turtles stay inside as "red hot embers" rain down, even laying a barely-concious Don on the floor (!) so they can fight the Shredder? They don't make any attempt to leave with the others, to get Don to safety? Very silly.


7.) Re: the following:

"*CYBER SHREDDER
But the electric current you sought to destroy me with simply transported my digital core back into cyberspace.
*The Shredder suddenly lets loose a MASSIVE PUNCH that CLOBBERS Mikey back into a row of chairs…
*CYBER SHREDDER
Where I was able to absorb the massive flux of energy…
*The Shredder next unleashes a POWERFUL BACKHAND that sends Raph REELING BACK into a wall.
*LOW ANGLE ON THE SHREDDER as he clenches his fists with might.
*CYBER SHREDDER
And reconstitute myself to become more powerful than ever!"

I don't know about this "massive flux of energy" that the Shredder claims to have absorbed to make himself "more powerful than ever", but isn't it more to the point that the Shredder stole Donatello's designs for a reliable cybermat transport portal? That is, after all, what has allowed him to make his move into the "real" world in a stable form.


8.) Re: the following:

"*Only, they’re too late!  The fiery rubble CRASHES down right on the WEDDING CAKE where Don was!
*LEO/RAPH/MIKEY (DESPAIR)
Donny!
*Mikey arrives at the debris and tosses away some pieces and looks down quizzically.
*MICHELANGELO (CONFUSED)
…isn’t here?
*REVERSE – sure enough, through the clutter of the burning debris, no Don.
*CYBER SHREDDER (O.S.)
Fools!  You only postpone the inevitable!  
*WIDE – the Shredder stomps towards the guys with bad intentions.
*CYBER SHREDDER
I will destroy you all!
*Leo, Raph and Mikey all strike ninja poses and leap back into battle with the Shredder.
*EXT. CASEY’S GRANDMA’S FARMHOUSE – CONTINUOUS
*As the fight rages on outside, Don slowly limps towards the Farmhouse.  He passes April inside Serling fighting as Turtle X just as they clobber a horde of FOOT NINJA with a powerful backhand.  April takes notice of Don."

As Dana Carvey used to say, in his guise as Church Lady, "Well, isn't that conveeenient!" How has Don managed to sneak out of the barn without anyone noticing it?


9.) Re: the following:

"*DONATELLO
But it wasn’t.  The Shredder infected Splinter with a line of code that activated like a beacon as soon as we made him organic.  And now it’s spreading!
*Don presses some buttons and we see the scanner LIGHT UP in response, as though it’s uploading a new program.
*DONATELLO
Unless we neutralize it, his entire body will shut down. "

This is the kind of stuff I really don't like. Not only doesn't it make a heck of a lot of sense, mixing the nature of cyberspace with "real space" in ways which don't work (at least for me), it also makes Don look like a total incompetent.


10.) Re: the following:

"*DONATELLO
It’s working!  The code is being neutralized!   Splinter should come to in minutes! 
*Serling looks through the woods over to the battle raging outside the barn.
*SERLING
Oh, goody, just in time to be smashed to bits by the Shredder.
*DONATELLO
No, don’t you see?  The Shredder infected Splinter himself!  Which means this line of code has the same base properties as his digital core!
*SERLING
So?
*DONATELLO
So if we were able to neutralize the code-- 
*APRIL
Then we should be able to neutralize the Shredder, as well!"

Total gobbledygook. The Shredder is PHYSICAL now. He is REAL. He no longer has a "digital core".


11.) Re: the following:

"*The Shredder rears back to strike, but suddenly--
*SPLINTER (O.S.)
Unhand my sons, you cyber scourge!"

That is, perhaps, the worst line ever written for Splinter.


12.) Re: the following:

"*Slowly, the Shredder is the blast spreads throughout the Shredder’s body…
*Slowly, reduced him to bits and bytes…
*Until only tiny pieces of electric static dust is left…
*Which soon simply scatters in with the wind."

There seems to be some word or words missing in the first line ("... the Shredder is the blast...), but that's not the real problem. The real problem is this casual, illogical mixing of cyberspace and real space. It is not working for me at all.


13.) Okay, as you can probably tell from the preceding comments, I have big problems with the whole mixing of cyberspace and real space thing. It just doesn't make any sense to me... especially in Splinter's case, as we have demonstrated time and time again throughout this season that Don's cybermat portal works PERFECTLY -- it can take your physical body and convert it into "data bits" and inject them into cyberspace, and then re-convert those data bits back into your physical body when you want to come out of cyberspace. It works so well that the Cyber Shredder actually went to great lengths to STEAL the design for Don's machine, as the Cyber Shredder's version of it was flawed and didn't work properly, resulting in those "cyber mutants" or whatever you want to call them which didn't survive long in the real world.
When we started down this cyberspace road some months ago, a real concern of mine was that we try to make this really quite preposterous notion (that our characters could move back and forth between the real wold and the digital world) work on a somewhat logical level, and, for the most part, we succeeded, I think. The only way it has worked for me is that we established that digital is digital, and real is real, and you are either one or the other -- you can't be both. That, and the fact that you need specific technology to make the transition -- it can't just happen ANYWHERE.
That is why, some weeks back, I suggested an alternative to the "Splinter morphing into Shredder" thing (which, as you know, I detest) which involved what I considered to be a somewhat logical scenario -- the Cyber Shredder "tweaks" one of Splinter's data bits in cyberspace, infecting it with code which when converted into physical reality through the miracle technology of Don's cybermat portal, it would turn into a tiny, but powerful, homing beacon... one which would allow the Cyber Shredder and his minions to track down the now-physical Splinter and the Turtles and ambush them. This, I thought, would be a way to get around the significant issue of Don's not being able to detect what the Cyber Shredder has done when Don finally gets all of Splinter's data bits together and re-converts him back to reality.
(I envision a scene something like this: In the sequence just before the main titles, when we see that Donatello has successfully  converted Splinter's data bits back into reality, and Spinter says the line "The trials and tribulations of cyberspace are finally behind us", the camera would push in towards Splinter's face, and get closer and closer and closer until you are in EXTREME close up of one of his ears, and you get in so close you can see clusters of  individual hairs like a grove of bamboo... and at the end of one of the hairs is a tiny, techy-looking thing, perhaps subtly pulsing with some kind of light (this is the tiny homing device which, due to it's extremely small size and subtle design, the Cyber Shredder was able to slip by Donatello's scans) ... and then we continue to push in on that and do a dissolve into a shot of a monitor screen with some kind of map graphic, and a light pulsating in the center of it... and pull out a bit further and show the Shredder's bladed fist gesturing as we hear his off-screen voice saying something appropriately Shredder-like and evil such as "I have you now!" or words to that effect... and then we go to main titles.)


Another reason that I am not at all enamored of the "Splinter-is-still-partly-digital" scenario in the draft as it now stands is that all of the stuff with Splinter wincing in pain, Don fussing over him with scanners and the like, Splinter going off to walk in the woods so the "country air" can cure him, and so on, is that it wastes a lot of time during which we could otherwise be doing some actual FUN and COOL stuff that this wedding gathering thing SCREAMS for... character bits with all of these wonderful and diverse characters, some of them interacting for the first time. Unfortunately, there is almost none of that... in large part, I think, because too much time is wasted with the "Splinter-is-still-partly-digital" nonsense.


On a related, but slightly different topic, I was disappointed that we have Karai at the wedding and fighting on the side of the "good guys", and there is nary a mention of how the Cyber Shredder reacts to that.
Which actually brings up something I hadn't really thought about until I just wrote that -- where, exactly, has Karai been all this time? If she still heads the Foot in New York, and the Cyber Shredder is trying to reclaim his power position therein, would they not have had some contact by now?


It seems that a lot of the thought behind the "Splinter-is-still-partly-digital" stuff is that it allows us a way to bloodlessly dispose of the Cyber Shredder at the end of this episode, wrapping up his arc quite neatly though some technobabble and a quickly-conceived and configured techno-gizmo that Don puts together on the spur of the moment. While I can see, somewhat, the appeal of this, the support structure for this aspect of the plot just doesn't work for me. So I raise the question -- is destroying the Cyber Shredder at the end of this episode really necessary? Or can we  have an ending wherein the Cyber Shredder is imprisoned in some way, either by the Turtles or by the other good guys, i.e. Silver Sentry and the Justice Force?


One other possibility (to which, I will admit, I have not given a lot of thought as of yet) would be to use the presence of Nano (who shows up with the other members of the Justice Force) to create a scenario wherein the Shredder would be destroyed. Perhaps the setup for this could be that on the way to the wedding, Don brought along his Cybermat portal (would it fit in the hauler?) so that he could continue his scans of Splinter, and also have the Cybermat on hand should any "adjustments" need to be made re: Splinter's digital-to-physical conversion. If we can buy this slightly clunky plot device, then later on, at the right moment of the pitched battle between the good guys and the bad guys, Nano could absorb/interface with the Cybermat in his inimitable way and convert it into a one-time-use weapon which, in an exciting climax, could be used to disintegrate the Cyber Shredder.


That's just one scenario, and I'm sure we could think up a few more which could work as well or better.


-- Peter