Car full of comic books

Here's photo I took a couple of days ago, in the parking lot near Mirage Studios:

I filled up the back of my car with a pile of boxes of comics from my personal stash of Turtle stuff. It's part of an effort by me to trim down a somewhat bloated collection. Actually, this pile has been waiting for almost two years to get stuffed in my car and brought down to Mirage. (I think my next effort will be to winnow down my collection of TMNT toys, but that won't be for at least several months... unless I am suddenly filled with an unexpected burst of energy.)

Soon, Katie and Dan should be going through all these and cataloguing what's there so we can offer them for sale. In fact, maybe they've already done it! -- PL

An interesting, long-forgotten fact

I was going through some old letters a few days ago and came across a copy of one that I wrote to my brother in early 1984. In it I wrote about how Kevin and I had recently gotten our copies of the first issue of TMNT back from the printer.

What surprised me was the mention in this letter that not only did we get the 3000 copies which we'd ordered, but an extra 275 copies as well -- a bit of overprinting on their part which inured to our benefit.

So from now on, when asked how many copies were in that first print run, I am going to have to try to remember 3,275 instead of the much easier round number of 3000.

I think I can handle it.  -- PL

Blast from the Past #656: May 15, 2005: Re: trailer sample, and May 17, 2005: Re: trailer sample

Subj: Re: trailer sample
Date: Sunday, May 15, 2005 9:21:32 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe


In a message dated 5/13/05 1:25:43 AM, Kevin Munroe writes:

I'm going to try and upload at least one shot (maybe just a couple of seconds) to the folder. Hopefully give you a better taste of what's to come. I'll do that within the hour tonight under "trailer renders".


Kevin,

Did you manage to do this (above)? Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I can't find anything like that on the ftp site.

I've been having fun re-watching the teaser trailer Quicktime movie -- tonight I went through it frame by frame a couple of times, and got a better idea of all of the cool stuff the animators are doing with the Turtles' movements. By the way, I love the way that light post wobbles when one of the Turtles lands on top of it -- very nice.

It got me thinking... I'm going to a small comic show in Portsmouth, NH this coming Sunday (the 22nd) -- it's kind of a return to origins thing, as this show is being put on by the same guy who put on the show back in May of 1984 where Kevin and I premiered the first issue of the TMNT comic. I'm even doing a special 3000-copy reprint (same number as the original first printing) of the first TMNT comic with all-new tones and lettering. 
I think it would be very cool to do some kind of "teaser print" (maybe a hundred or two) of one or more frames from the teaser trailer, to hand out to the fans who will be there. I've gone through the trailer and have frame-grabbed five possible frames which I think fit the bill of being visually interesting but not giving too much away (though the shot of Leo, Raph and Don in the alley might be pushing that envelope). If everyone agrees that this is a good idea, I would need better/higher rez frames of these shots so that the prints would look best. I would also need to know what to put on these prints to cover all pertinent copyright issues.

Though obviously not vital, I think this is something that would be fun and keep those rumor mills churning. If I were to do this, I would need the higher rez frames by Wednesday of this week. Let me know what you guys think.

-- Pete

P.S. I'm attaching a jpeg of the five frames I grabbed.

------------------------------


Subj: Re: trailer sample
Date: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 11:26:45 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

In a message dated 5/17/05 1:31:08 PM, Kevin Munroe writes:

btw, that re-release of issue one is a great idea. Did you color it too? Made
me also think that once we get the script underway we could talk about any
comic tie-in - not necessarily the comic version of the movie, but any chances
for us to beef up the story by telling side-stories/prequel things (like Leo's
training) that would add more for a true fan. Could be cool down the road...

Kevin,

I'll send you and Galen each a copy. It's not colored -- I just redid all of the tones, using the Photoshop technique I use on the current TMNT comic, and also relettered it in Quark, tweaking a few small things here and there.
Good point about a comic to tie in with the movie! We should really start thinking about that.

-- Peter

Blast from the Past #655: April 13, 2005: Re: Lighting/Texture for Trailer

Subj: Re: Lighting/Texture for Trailer
Date: Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:00:09 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

Kevin,

I managed to get the stuff this morning, using the wireless access at my favorite breakfast/lunch place in town, Hayfields.

The texture and color stuff looks GREAT! I am very happy with the overall look... if we can keep this kind of detail and quality in the feature, I think we'll have something really cool. I especially like that contrast between the brightly lit cityscape in the background and the darker, more shadowy areas the Turtles are jumping around in. (Before I forget it -- something I wanted to bring up about the opening of the teaser: Rather than have all four Turtles standing in pretty much the same pose, I wonder if we should break it up a little -- not necessarily have ALL of them in wildly different postures, but it occurred to me that it would be neat to at least have Raph in a crouch, maybe on top of a pipe or something (similar to his pose in the first issue, in the full page before he sends Splinter's message to Oroku Saki).

Looking at the lighting of the alleyway, I was struck by the idea that it might be cool to add another light (like the one attached to the building at the end of the alley) which would be above the manhole cover, so that when we push in and get a good look at it, it would be well lit. Just a thought.

Re: Leo's chest strap: I'm not sure what to say. I'm not entirely sure what the issue is -- are you saying that when the model is built, the strap doesn't lay as it should, and needs to be distorted in a weird way to actually make it work when Leo moves around? I'm open to looking at different ideas for the strap and the way it attaches to both belt and scabbards, but I wonder also if it might be useful to look back at the way the Henson people made it work in the first live action movie. I must say that I am somewhat attached to the basic look of Leo's belt setup, so my preference would be to find a way to make that look work.

By the way -- nice interview! I don't know if you've had time to track any of the fan response to the announcement of the CGI movie, but it's been pretty interesting -- it's gone from about 20% pro/80% con to just about the exact reverse in the last couple of weeks, and I think what you said in your interview helped a lot to convince people that this was something to look forward to. 

-- Pete

Blast from the Past #654: April 1, 2005: Re: first pass and 2 other things

Subj: Re: first pass and 2 other things
Date: Friday, April 1, 2005 1:08:58 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

Kevin,

Here are my comments on your list.

<<KEY CHARACTER DESIGN

LEONARDO
RAPHAEL
MICHAELANGELO
DONATELLO
General Turtles question: can we alter any of their masks? i.e. can one of them wear a bandana instead of the mask? We’ll keep the classic colors, but can we put any markings  on the masks? (just questions to open the forum. I like the bandana idea for Raph, but it’s not a hill I need to die on for now.) >>

  My preference is to stay with the classic mask look. Over-the-head bandanas remind me of "THE NEXT MUTATION" live-action TV show.... blech. While they are okay for the Turtle Tots (the Turtles as youngsters seen in several episodes of the new animated series), I don't like them on the adult Turtles.


<<We’ll probably make the different body shapes (only slightly, I know) on the second pass of deliverables. (schedule still forthcoming). I’m thinking of Raph being a little more cut, but am open to any other opinions you may have on Mikey and Don, or reference to what’s been done already, or any avenues you’ve gone down, good and bad, before this. >>

  I have no problem with Raph being more muscular... and as far as other physical changes go, "I'll know it when I see it" -- in other words, I have a mental image of what will be okay, but it's hard for me to put into words. But a rough rule of thumb might be to say that a variation from a "standard" Turtle form of 10 to 15% would probably be okay (depending, of course, on what that variation actually looked like). Maybe Don should have a slightly bigger head (proportionally to his body) than the others.


  A lot of the visual variation for the Turtles can -- and I think should -- come from posture. For example: Mike slouches a lot, is very casual; Raph likes tough-guy poses, hunched over/angry; Leo stands tall, is very precise in his movements; Don is slightly distracted all the time, as he thinks about a lot of stuff.

<<SPLINTER
just confirming: the deformed ear is a mainstay, right?>>

  No, not necessarily. That torn ear concept was used in the first movie and was developed to make a particular plot point work. I think Splinter would be fine with or without it.


<<Does he have to wear a tattered robe, or can it be a little more presentable? (not shiny, but more everyday wear, gi-style)>>

  I think Splinter could wear a robe which isn't tattered; in fact, he could certainly have several different outfits. But the key, I think, is that whatever he wears, it should be simple in design... to reflect his higher level of Zen mastery.


<<APRIL O’NEIL
she will be the most challenging – human and female. Pushing for a few clothing changes – jungle, business wear, casual, training, final battle. Already have resistance on that from Hong Kong, but I will push it through. We can maybe alter the color/texture of her casual wear for a low-impact way of adding variety to her wardrobe as well.

CASEY JONES
- as discussed, all of this gear will be store-bought-able. Is the white mask a given? Could it be any other color/painted design?>>

  I think the white hockey mask is an iconic element for Casey, and thus I would be very reluctant to change it. Maybe there could be an opportunity somewhere in this story for Casey to apply "war paint" to his mask to customize it -- preparing for a big battle or something.


<<MAX WINTERS/YAOTL
GENERAL UNO (names still not given)
GENERAL DOS
GENERAL TRES
GENERAL QUATRO
FOOT LEADER (KARAI)
- again, we’ll only see her sans-mask for one shot at the end. Up until that point, we’ll make her body a bit less curvy and less feminine to not raise unnecessary questions.
FOOT NINJA>>

  The comment about Karai and her curvy figure made me realize that there is really no good reason why some of the Foot Ninja couldn't be women.


<<- do we want a logo? Is it the one from the tv show? If so, what the heck is that logo supposed to stand for? If not, what do you want for a logo?>>

  I'm not completely sure what you mean by "what the heck is that logo supposed to stand for". But I am not opposed to a new logo for the film, as long as it works well and looks cool. I like the design of the logo which we are using on the TV show and all licensed products -- it's a variation/updating of the original Playmates Toys logo. Maybe we could tweak that. Also, we should probably decide if we want to have a "teaser" logo and a final logo -- for example, is "TMNT" as seen on the manhole cover at the end of the teaser trailer going to be a part of the final titles of the movie, or is that going to be the full "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?


<<I-BEAM FIGHT MONSTER - BIGFOOT
DELI FIGHT MONSTER – JERSEY DEVIL
RAPH/CASEY MONSTER – VAMPIRIC
#13 MONSTER – LOCH NESS-ON-LAND – T-REX/LOCH MIX
MISC MONSTER 1 (IN MONTAGE) - TBD
MISC MONSTER 2 (IN MONTAGE) - TBD
MISC MONSTER 3 (IN MONTAGE) - TBD
- I don’t think I want to ever refer to the monsters directly as “hey! There’s Bigfoot!”, but I like that we’re using it as a production design of sorts. On top of that, I am shooting for a look that sort of redefines, (while staying true to established convention) the look of some of these classics. The first four were picked to try and get a wide array of body types and silhouettes. The last three tbd’s and any others we see will be chosen same way.>>

I agree. The idea I've had in my head re: the monsters is that they -- the ones who come through Yaotl's portal thousands of years ago -- are the archetypes upon which the look and legend of our contemporary mythical monsters (i.e. Bigfoot, Yeti, Nessie, etc.) are based. So part of the design process might be to "reverse engineer" these monsters... in other words, to try to imagine what look would have inspired the legends we have today, as filtered through centuries of retelling and the recollections/testimony of not-necessarily-reliable eyewitnesses.

  One type of legendary monster which would be visually a lot of fun would be the fearsome Kraken, the sea monster which is thought to have been based on sightings of squids or octopi. A werewolf (or were-beast of any sort... were-lion, were-tiger. were-bear, were-elephant) would also be cool, as would some variation of my favorite movie monster, the Gill Man ("Creature From the Black Lagoon")... at least one which wouldn't get us in legal hot water with Universal Studios.

<<KEY ENVIRONMENT DESIGN
TURTLES LAIR
Really would like to see any reference you have for this from your show. Better yet, please wax poetic on your approach to this key layout. Is it an antechamber? An old subway station? Etc. Would love to know your thoughts on the “foundation” of the lair. What you liked about the current tv. What’s cool about the upcoming one. What don’t you like about what’s been done? I think we’re on the same page with wanting something unique and cool with offshooting rooms and pipes and inter-connected chambers, but I want to get in your headspace as much as possible on this before hand. I’m probably going to have the guy who designed most of the underground lairs in Matrix 2 and 3, Van Helsing sets, and the Judge Dredd city, so we’ll be in good conceptual hands, I think. (at least he didn’t write the scripts!)>>

  The basic idea for the Turtles' lair, in pretty much all of its incarnations, is that it is a part of the city infrastructure that was lost/forgotten/abandoned, and the Turtles found it and made it their own... with quite a bit of customization over the years. I'm not married to any particular design, but the basic things are individual rooms for each Turtle and Splinter, maybe a few extra rooms for guests, a dojo/training area, kitchen, armory, workshop, and common area. The entrances and exits need to be carefully/cleverly hidden, and can be things that Donatello has worked out, like sliding walls, hidden panels, doors disguised as pipes, etc. -- the idea being that the Turtles don't want to be discovered, even accidentally by a curious sewer worker.



<<KEY PROPS DESIGN

TURTLES BATTLE GEAR?
I remember your response to the proposed drawings a long time ago, so I know we’re not altering the Turtles’ gear they wear everyday. But you mentioned it might be okay for special purposes – i.e. final battle. If we preluded this by Don tinkering with new gear for them during the movie, could the tmnt use it at the end?
Those issues aside, does that mean that in their standard “walking around” look, that the tmnt “tuck” their weapons into their tied belts, and that’s their only “gear”? When they bring out other gadgets – claws, stars, etc., where do they hold them? Do we do the Looney Tunes off camera grab? I know that Don has a sash bag from the show, but just curious what your thoughts are.>>

  I understand the impulse to add new stuff to the Turtles, and I am not opposed to them using new gear for specific reasons... but the sai, katana, bo and nunchaku have become powerful iconic elements of the TMNT "mythos", and thus need to be retained as is. That said, one of the things that we have tried to do in the various iterations of the TMNT is to show that although those four weapons are their PREFERRED weapons, they have also received lots of training in other weapons, and are proficient in them.


The question of "Where do those climbing claws come from, anyway?" is a good one. In the comics and the TV show, we have been able to "cheat" it... but my thought has always been that a certain amount of gear could be stored on the INSIDE of their belts, tucked away into low-profile pockets hidden on that reverse side. If it becomes a problem in terms of logic and realism, maybe we could think about giving them some kind of small pouches attached to the belts to carry these small gadgets. Don's shoulder bag is more for carrying larger stuff or multiples of smaller things, and/or the tools he needs for a particular job.

<<WINTERS HUNTING EQUIPMENT
Going after the same production design as the flashbacks, this ancient culture, the motifs of his building etc. But just higher tech.

MIKEY’S MASCOT VAN
Just a funny van decorated to fit Mikey’s alter ego as a party mascot.>>

  That could be cool. This could also be a useful "hide in plain sight" surveillance/transport vehicle. Which actually raises another question -- I don't know if it is needed, given the demands of the story, but the Turtles in both animated series have had a "group vehicle" in which they (and Splinter) can all travel together. In the current series, it was first a converted bank armored car called the "BattleShell", and then a converted moving van. Do we need something like this?


<<NIGHTWATCHER’S BIKE
tweaked out ktm adventurer, right? Either way, we’ll keep the advice of an off-road suspension design and take it to heart.>>

  Barring any possible legal problems with using the KTM-specific design, I think that's a great bike to use for this purpose. 


<<KEY GENERAL ART
OPENING CREDITS
I can’t find the paper where I wrote down your key villains that we would see during the opening credits projected onto walls, etc. Could you provide again, please?>>

  I think Gary has made a pretty comprehensive list, which either he or I will send you, but here is a list off the top of my head, some from the comics, some from the new TV show:


Shredder
  Triceratons
  Foot Ninja/Shredder Elite Ninja/Tech Ninja
  Rat King
  Leatherhead (he's not really a villain, but they did fight him... and he's cool-looking)
  Nano
  Bishop/Commandos
  Battle Nexus warriors
Ultimate Draco
Savanti Romero

I'm sure there are more. It just occurred to me that it might be fun to show glimpses during these credits some of their allies, as well -- Fugitoid and Usagi Yojimbo both come to mind. (The fans would dig it!)

<<That’s about it. We’re ramping up with artists to get going on all aspects of design. And we’ll also get you guys that schedule for what to expect and when. I’m pushing for a small amount of just percolation time (couple of weeks), just to flesh out our general direction. Then the actual designs will begin then. Schedule will explain more.

Anything else that comes into your head along the above lines, please feel free to throw in.

Thanks,

Kevin>>

  Cool! Looking forward to seeing more stuff.


    -- Pete

Blast from the Past #653: March 8, 2005: Re: Fourth Rev. Treatment and March 28, 2005: Re: first pass animation

Subj: Re: Fourth Rev. Treatment
Date: Tuesday, March 8, 2005 3:55:46 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

Kevin,

Here are my comments on TMNT movie treatment #4.

1.) I don't really have much to say! Thanks for consideration of/inclusion of many of my suggestions. I think we are on solid ground here, and unless something unforeseen comes up in the discussions we're planning to have in Northampton, I can see progressing to the script stage from this treatment.

2.) One thing about the ending -- given that a lot of the tension/conflict in this story comes from the friction between Leo and Raph, I thought it might be cool to give the two of them a "moment" either after we see Casey and April roar off on Raph's bike, or just before. Maybe we could tie it in with the "Raph gives up Nightwatcher" scene -- I'm thinking something like this: Raph is standing on the edge of a rooftop... he's got his Nightwatcher costume crumpled up in his hands. He's looking at it... obviously conflicted (at least a little bit)... then suddenly, silently (ninja-like!) Leo is beside him. Leo could say something supportive to Raph, something about like he thinks Raph doesn't HAVE to give up Nightwatcher completely. But Raph shakes his head... he says something to Leo about that part of his life not being so important to him now (still, it was kinda fun)... and with a rueful grin, he drops the beat-up costume off the edge of the roof, and we follow it as it flutters down and lands in a Dumpster or trash can. 

Cut back to Raph and Leo... they share a look, then do something which demonstrates their affection/respect for each other (a cool handshake, a big hug, whatever -- actually, it might be cool if Leo offers the handshake (thinking macho Raph wouldn't dig the hug) and then Raph surprises him by giving him the big hug). Then Raph says "Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful night, bro... how about a training run?" Leo grins back at him, they "slap three", and says "Let's do it!"

Just then, they are startled by another voice -- "Got room for one more?" -- it's Don, who has crept up on them with ninja stealth. He twirls his bo staff as Leo and Raph grin. Then we hear off screen footsteps running -- the three Turtles whip out their weapons in a defensive flourish -- and in leaps Mikey, a little out of breath (we don't immediately see his whole body, especially his head, but we hear his voice saying something like "Wait for me! I ran all the way here..."). Leo, Don and Raph, share a look... then Leo says (long-suffering tone) "Uh... Mikey..." and points.

Cut to a medium shot of Mikey -- he's still wearing his "Party Turtle" costume head! "What? What?!" he says... then realizes. "Oh. Oops..." and takes off the head. "Sorry..." MIkey whips out his 'chuks...

... and all four Turtles, in perfect TMNT form, leap off the edge of the building... and we freeze frame on the four... brothers once more! The end. Run credits.

-- Peter

------------------------------

Subj: Re: first pass animation
Date: Monday, March 28, 2005 1:01:56 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

Kevin,

I meant to get this out to you on Friday, but got caught up with weekend Easter stuff.

The new clip is very cool -- it's exciting to see the progress. I think the Turtles, specifically their heads, still need some tweaking. But I'm loving the overall feel of it.

The ending dolly in to the manhole cover with the TMNT logo on it seems a bit too abrupt -- I think it works better if you get more of a feel for WHERE that manhole cover is (i.e. in the alley the Turtles just disappeared from). RIght now it happens so quickly it doesn't really feel like part of one continuous shot.

Also, while the final "leap off the building into the alley" thing works -- and I like the new up shot -- it occurred to me after watching it several times if it might be more exciting, and more fun, if -- instead of cutting just as the Turtles leap off the building, then switching to that up camera angle -- we had the camera FOLLOW the Turtles off the edge, and then FALL faster than they do, all the while panning UP and BACK so that we end up on the ground in that UP angle, but we've had a cool little vertigo moment before it.

And I'm still not sure about the beginning, where the Turtles are all facing forward, and then turn around and head off backwards/sideways. There is something about it which still doesn't work for me -- maybe it needs some tweaking. Maybe it happens too abruptly. I do think that it might be a good idea to try having them leap FORWARD instead -- maybe have a brief bit where Leo turns his head to make sure that the others are with him, then he (and they) leap forward.

Look forward to the next iteration!

-- Pete

-----------------------


Subj: Re: trailer sample
Date: Sunday, May 15, 2005 9:21:32 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

In a message dated 5/13/05 1:25:43 AM, Kevin Munroe writes:

<<I'm going to try and upload at least one shot (maybe just a couple of seconds) to the folder. HOpefully give you a better taste of what's to come. I'll do that within the hour tonight under "trailer renders".>>

Kevin,

Did you manage to do this (above)? Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I can't find anything like that on the ftp site.

I've been having fun re-watching the teaser trailer Quicktime movie -- tonight I went through it frame by frame a couple of times, and got a better idea of all of the cool stuff the animators are doing with the Turtles' movements. By the way, I love the way that light post wobbles when one of the Turtles lands on top of it -- very nice.

It got me thinking... I'm going to a small comic show in Portsmouth, NH this coming Sunday (the 22nd) -- it's kind of a return to origins thing, as this show is being put on by the same guy who put on the show back in May of 1984 where Kevin and I premiered the first issue of the TMNT comic. I'm even doing a special 3000-copy reprint (same number as the original first printing) of the first TMNT comic with all-new tones and lettering. 

I think it would be very cool to do some kind of "teaser print" (maybe a hundred or two) of one or more frames from the teaser trailer, to hand out to the fans who will be there. I've gone through the trailer and have frame-grabbed five possible frames which I think fit the bill of being visually interesting but not giving too much away (though the shot of Leo, Raph and Don in the alley might be pushing that envelope). If everyone agrees that this is a good idea, I would need better/higher rez frames of these shots so that the prints would look best. I would also need to know what to put on these prints to cover all pertinent copyright issues.

Though obviously not vital, I think this is something that would be fun and keep those rumor mills churning. If I were to do this, I would need the higher rez frames by Wednesday of this week. Let me know what you guys think.

-- Pete

P.S. I'm attaching a jpeg of the five frames I grabbed.

Blast from the Past #652: February 27, 2005: Re: Rev. Treatment, and March 1, 2005: comments on third draft of treatment

Subj: Re: Rev. Treatment
Date: Sunday, February 27, 2005 2:49:10 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

Kevin,

As it will probably take me at least another day or two (or three) to put together my detailed comments about the third draft treatment you sent to us, I wanted to zap you off this quick email to tell you that I think we have something here. It all hangs together pretty well and is definitely -- at least to me -- a solid foundation for moving to the next step, which I would assume is a script (or maybe it's a REALLY finished/polished treatment). It probably makes sense to continue to massage this treatment for a little while more so that most if not all of the small holes get filled in and the rough edges smoothed out -- my estimate would be that we are about 75% of the way there (to a finished, approvable treatment).

But I am very happy that you have put together the elements we have been discussing in a way which tells a complete story without any gaping logic holes. There are a number of areas which still need tweaking to varying degrees, and I'll try to address as many of them as I can with my detailed notes. I think this could turn out to be a wonderful movie and a wild ride.

I'll be in touch soon!

-- Peter

--------------------------------------------


Subj: comments on third draft of treatment
Date: Tuesday, March 1, 2005 10:35:09 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Kevin Munroe

Kevin,

One general comment before I get into specifics -- I'm not convinced that what is in this draft of the treatment is the best way to tell the fairly complicated backstory of Yaotl and the Generals and the monsters. I suspect that we will end up shuffling the elements around a bit.

1.) Re: the following:

"The brothers are forced to come together when strange phenomena begin to plague New York City – the plant life is growing like crazy, there is a mass-migration of wildlife into the city, and eventually, reports of strange CREATURES are popping up all over the place. "

While the plant life growing like crazy thing could be very fun visually, I'm not sure it makes much sense. I don't see a reason for it. Which is not to say that we COULDN'T think of a reason for it -- just that right now I don't see one.

2.) Re: the following:

"Splinter Opening Narration about “family” and “brotherhood”"

This seems a bit heavy-handed and overly corny to me.

3.) I still like the idea of opening the movie with the flashback to the big battle with Yaotl and his forces against the united tribes of the Olmecs, as it could go a long way to setting up the backstory of Yaotl/WInters and save us from doing too much long-winded and awkward exposition later on in the movie. Also, I kind of dig the idea of tweaking the expectations of the viewers who have just sat down in their seats to watch a TMNT movie... and instead are faced with something out of a Mesoamerican "Lord of the Rings".

4.) Re: the following:

"OPENING CREDITS
SEWER PIPES - learn backstory of TMNT and see rogues gallery of villains they’ve defeated along the way."

It might be cool to expand the environments/settings here -- i.e. not just sewer tunnels but alleyways, rooftops, various interiors, natural exteriors, etc. -- maybe having the images mentioned projected like film onto the surfaces of these locations.

5.) Re: the following:

"APRIL IN THE JUNGLE – PROCURER OF STRANGE ARTIFACTS
Catch the tail end of a high-adrenaline scene with APRIL surrounded by angry Jungle natives, pissed that she stole a SACRED STATUE from them. Using her wiles, a winch tied between a cargo plane and the statue, she gets out of the jam.
CUT TO: In the air, April flies the plane. Big and empty except for the wrapped artifact now in the middle of the hull. The Statue. Reveal LEO in the back, hitching a pre-planned ride home with April. Hasn’t seen family in a long time."

I'm trying -- but failing -- to visualize how April uses "her wiles, a winch tied between a cargo plane and the statue". Also, do we really want April to be STEALING this artifact? Maybe she has actually paid for it, and now the natives want more money or something.

Given that Leo is in her plane, should he be part of this scene and maybe help her get out of this jam?

6.) Re: the following:

"BACK IN THE CARGO PLANE
Establish that April and Casey have broken up long ago. She’d like to have feelings for him, but can’t. Leo looks forward to going home.
Leo noticed “change” in jungle animals’ behavior recently. More agitated or something.
Leo finishes up his conversation and suddenly opens the plane hatch! He parachutes out into NYC Harbor! Lands in the water for a secret drain pipe entrance into the city and back home. April flies to airstrip with cargo."

I would like to try to work out this April/Casey thing so that it is emotionally "real" and when they get back together it will be a powerful, affecting moment. As it is not a KEY plot point, we can tweak and massage this through the script stage until it feels right.

And I think it would be cooler if Leo doesn't parachute out of the airplane, but DIVES into the water. Of course, this kind of depends on how high above the surface April is flying -- if it is so high that it seems unlikely that even a mutant turtle would survive hitting the water, maybe Leo should have not a parachute, but some kind of cooler. sleek strap-on glider wings, which he could release himself from at an appropriate altitude and drop into the water. But it would probably work best if he could just jump out of the airplane into the water.

7.) Re: the following:

"She leaves. Winters is happy. Alone with statue, he opens a back door. Three other statues already there and strapped with high tech EXO-SUITS that have gold/chrome detailing with ancient GLYPHS carved into them. (we’ll use the “magical pacemaker” approach as we discussed) Winters looks to be mean guy with ulterior motives to audience.
Dark room – there are other shapes in there. But we don’t see them. Scary."

It might be cool for this scene if there is a FOURTH exo-suit waiting for the fourth statue, set up as if it just needs to be strapped on or activated. In fact, if it works, we might even see the beginning of this process as Winters positions the newly acquired statue within the fourth exo-suit, and the various parts of it begin to merge with the statue.

Also, I'm not sure what the "other shapes" in the last line refers to.

8.) Re: the following:

"SHOT OF STARS – In the heavens above, we see STARS, looking like they’re slowly moving into an ALIGNMENT of some sort…"

I am a little reluctant to use this "stars aligning" gag, as it has a slight cheesy air to it, and also introduces some elements which might prove problematic, logically. The most obvious one is that Yaotl didn't have to wait for this alignment of stars centuries ago when he summoned these monsters through the gate he opened (and a good thing, too, as it would have been somewhat inconvenient in the middle of a war).

UNLESS... we establish as part of the backstory that Yaotl's summoning of this horde of demons was not a desperation move as we had originally discussed, but was instead part of Yaotl's long-term plan of conquest.

I'm not totally opposed to the "stars aligning" thing, but if we use it we should try to make it seem less cliched than it does right now. Also, we should try to answer the question (if we need to) of why Winters is doing this in NYC instead of somewhere in the Yucatan.

9.) Re: the following:

"CASEY JONES
Casey is now working with inner city kids sport leagues. Given up his vigilante life. Admonishes the vigilante Nightwatcher in front of the kids.
Casey sees strange GLYPHS carved into a building wall. Kids deny having anything to do with it. Casey’s curious. Something doesn’t feel right…"

It's unclear to me whether or not Nightwatcher is actually in this scene or if Casey is just talking about him. I suspect it is the latter.

Also, the idea that Casey has given up his vigilante life seems to be somewhat in conflict with his breakup with April. It seems like that would be one of the things he would have done to make her happy. If he had, would they have broken up? Or if he had and they HAD broken up anyway, would he have gone back to vigilanteism? Things we need to think about...

10.) Re: the following:

"They look into an alley. See THE FOOT! They’re tagging a wall – carving a GLYPH into it with a bizarre ARTIFACT. Strange. TMNT and Foot fight – just like old times."

I have no problem with the Turtles and the Foot fighting, but I think there should be a good reason for them to do so in this circumstance -- they don't just fight on sight. I doubt the Turtles would have started a fight just because they see some Foot "tagging" a wall with strange glyphs. Perhaps Raph (who is pissed off anyway) could instigate it and the rest reluctantly go along.

11.) Re: the following:

" Foot demand more money since freaky monster things are involved. Winters doesn’t bat an eye. (note – the Foot are now muscle for hire after losing Shredder)"

It might be a good idea to plant a seed of an idea here -- as subtly as we can -- that the Foot are not terribly happy with the fact that their station has sunk so low, and that one of them -- perhaps it's Karai? -- has ambitions to bring the Foot back to prominence as a criminal enterprise. I am suggesting this as a way to possibly link this movie to a sequel, which I hope will follow. 

12.) Re: the following:

"Don tries to figure out mystery of what’s going on. Something familiar about the monster…"

I'm not sure what is implied by Don sensing "something familiar" about the monster.

13.) Re: the following:

"STRANGE REPORTS
News reports intermingled in Act II to talk about “strange crime wave” in the streets of NYC. Maybe we’ll hear the reports, dismissing everything as “normal” crime, but we’ll see what REALLY happened. People are missing (viewers can fill in the blanks there), vandalism, etc. "

I suspect it is a matter of using the phrase "crime wave" as a sort of shorthand, but I don't think we're really talking about a "crime wave" per se. This is more like a series of bizarre incidents, I think, as opposed to crimes committed.

14.) Re: the following:

"Raph goes out as Nightwatcher, determined to find out what’s up with the Monsters. Casey sees Nightwatcher from his window. Grabs trusty bat and goes to inspect, sans Goalie Mask. Realizes it’s Raph. Two sit like gargoyles, catching up on old days, and we learn more about Raph as well as Casey’s unhappiness with their lives."

I'm not sure if Casey should appear here without his hockey mask -- might be a lot cooler if he's wearing it in this scene. Also -- how exactly does Casey realize it's Raph? And how is it that HE can do it, but not Leo or the other Turtles? I suppose it could be because Raph takes off his helmet, but as you know, I still have a big problem with the other Turtles not being able to tell that Raph is Nightwatcher.

15.) Re: the following:

"About to leave, Winters sees Raph. What a strange monster! This one isn’t like the others. He fires a TRANQ DART and Raph turns his shell to take the hit."

Might it be extra fun if the "tranq dart" was also a TRACKER dart? It might make for a fun bit to have it be so, and have Winters send a Foot force, equipped with a scanning gizmo which points them in the direction of the tracker dart, after the "strange monster". We could play it back and forth, switching point of view from the Turtles and friends in the lair to the Foot searching the tunnels, all the way up to the point that the Foot are ALMOST at the hidden entrance to the lair, when Don realizes that this dart is also a tracking device -- and destroys it. And just at that moment, outside the lair, the Foot's scanner goes dead -- no more signal. They groan -- so close and yet so far! -- and leave.

16.) Re: the following:

"APRIL IN LAIR/HISTORICAL CLUES
April goes to Lair. Taking defense lessons from Splinter. Splinter is very fatherly and protective of her. Raph and Casey barge in, Raph badly beaten. (without Nightwatcher garb) The TMNT spot the bladed weapons in his shell, as well as a stun dart from Winters. April knows the symbol."

If April is in the lair when Casey and Raph stumble in, there should be some awkwardness and tension between her and Casey.

Also, what is the symbol that April knows? Is it something on the bladed weapon or the dart?

17.) Re: the following:

"But it turns out that the army was UNCONTROLLABLE. Through a folly of his own, Yaotl couldn’t harness their power and they eventually dispersed to the furthest flung recesses of the jungle and eventually the Earth…
What happened next? No one knows."

What about the curse we discussed, the one which turned the Generals to stone and made Yaotl an immortal? 

18.) Re: the following:

"NEWS FLASH – See Brooklyn Bridge covered in hundreds of deer. Something strange is going on…"

Nice image, but -- like the strange growth of vegetation -- I don't get how it relates to our tale.

19.) Re: the following:

"MONSTER HUNTING IN NYC
Montage of Winters and his Generals capturing dozens of monsters in NYC. See the process of the collar, the glyphs that detect monster presences (Winters using an artifact-looking locator device), and how the Foot help as an Advance Team by deterring traffic, clearing areas, etc.
See “close calls” as people think they see glimpses of these creatures before they move on or are captured. "

I'd like to get more clarity on how these glyphs work -- are they SUMMONING the monsters, or do they just REACT to the presence of monsters, or both?

20.) Re: the following:

"LEO VS. RAPH
Big chase ensues. Leo chasing Nightwatcher. They stop and fight. Down and dirty hardcore. Pushed out of character, Leo explodes in anger, whaling on Nightwatcher, knocking his helmet off – it’s RAPH! Leo freezes.
Raph’s turn – in a burst of pent up anger, he knocks Leo down, about to drive the sai through his eye and he pulls back. Raph is ashamed. He runs off into the night. Leo does too. Both are stunned."

I'm STILL having problems with this idea that Leo couldn't recognize that Nightwatcher is actually Raph. It makes him seem DULL to me... not at all the keen ninja blade that he is.

21.) Re: the following:

" Mikey pretends to be a birthday-gram message (the longest ever) for the security guards.
Mikey gets bored and ends up knocking out the guards to join his brothers upstairs."

I don't think Mike should knock these guards out just because he gets bored -- that's not Mikey behavior -- but I could buy him doing it if the guards get bored and irritated with HIM and make aggressive physical moves to throw him out of the building.

22.) Re: the following:

"Raph is rushing to the Observatory and gets there just in time to see Mikey, Leo and Don all being tranquilized by Winters and the Four Warriors! He doesn’t know what to do. Winters thinks that the creatures must have had offspring or something. But now his collection is complete.
Afterwards, we see April hiding in corner. The perfect ninja-in-training.
Lowest point for Raph – realizes he’s messed everything up.

ACT III

TURTLE LAIR
Raph returns back.  April and Splinter there too."

I'm not clear on why Raph runs away back to the lair instead of pursuing  Winters and his crew -- that seems so un-Raph-like. There may in fact be a good reason for it, but right now I don't see it.
Also, does April return to the lair with Raph? That part is a little vague.

23.) Re: the following:

"OUTSIDE BUILDING – April, Casey and Raph show up in shadows. Raph has to go up to the top to confront Winters. April and Casey break into the building to rescue the TMNT. "

I'm not clear why Raph does what he does here -- isn't finding and freeing the other Turtles the top priority? Again, maybe there is a good reason which I'm just not seeing.

Also, it just occurred to me -- are we keeping Splinter out of the action too much? Maybe he needs a chance to kick some ass, like we have him do in the current animated series. Maybe he should be there with Raph, or with April and Casey.

Also, are Casey and April taking a shot in the dark here? I mean, how do they know where the Turtles are being held? Should we throw in a little "Turtle Tech" here and reveal that Don has some kind of tracker gizmo wired into his belt or something, and April is using one of Don's own inventions to locate him?

24.) Re: the following:

"Turns out that the Generals DID catch #101 on their own – they just stashed it in a warehouse across town. They’ll never be able to return all the creatures in time.
...........

April runs to Winters. He charges them with finding the 101st Monster. Takes out his tracking device he found earlier, he gives it to April."

Something about the Generals stashing monster 101 in "a warehouse across town" just seems so... ordinary. I think we should bend a few brain cells toward thinking of some weird and unusual place they might have hid this thing.

Also, what is this "tracking device he found earlier" that Winters produces? I don't remember it.

25.) Re: the following:

"Quick beat as Mikey has to go down to street level to enjoy being on the surface world. He orders pizza from an empty shop. Leaves money on counter. It’s everything he thought it would be…"

I'd like to just take this bit out.

26.) Re: the following:

"Raph gives up Nightwatcher. Secret safe with Leo. April there too. End with gag of Casey, tearing away on Nightwatcher’s bike, screaming like crazy."

I have no problem with Casey taking off on Raph's bike, but I wonder if April should be with him.

-- Peter