Subj: Re: TMNT 166
Date: Wednesday, February 20, 2008 9:46:09 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
In a message dated 2/20/08 5:55:26 PM, Lloyd writes:
Howdy Pete –
You may think I’m over–reacting here, but something tells me that you’re not liking this whole “Shredder morphing out of Splinter” thing. ;)
Lloyd
Lloyd,
You are remarkably perceptive!
Matt and I have been trying to puzzle this episode out and I wanted to get your quick read on this concept:
What if, when Splinter is resting alone, just before the wedding, hooked up to Don’s equipment, Shredder snatches him (whether to cyberspace or into a closet is TBD) and (using the information provided by Don’s machines and his Viral-inherited abilities) takes Splinter’s place?
Next idea, please!
Serously, not loving this option either.
If we do something along these lines we still get to have the fun and drama of the “Shredder takes Splinter’s place switcheroo” without the logic problems that seem to be hanging us up.
Hey man, I'm all for fun and drama. but I guess I just don't see what is so desirable about the Shredder-from-Splinter bit. I don't think it's worth tying ourselves in knots to try to accomplish.
Just curious -- did you think my "wedding in cyberspace" idea was too loony?
-- Pete
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Subj: Re: TMNT164CityUnderSiegeDr2
Date: Wednesday, February 20, 2008 11:56:12 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
P. Laird comments on TMNT164 City Under Siege second draft
1.) Re: the following:
"DONATELLO
We're a little busy, so you two are gonna have to work together. You can reprogram Shelly just the way you like through his docking station."
Don doesn't say "gonna". He says "going to".
2.) Re: the following:
"Shelly GLOWS with Foot Clan colors as it aggressively CHASES Serling and Klunk around the lair with its brushes."
I'm not really sure what it means to glow with Foot Clan colors. Perhaps when "Shelly" is designed, it can have incorporated into it a display screen on which it could show the Foot logo.
-- Peter
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Subj: Re: TMNT 166
Date: Thursday, February 21, 2008 8:45:30 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
In a message dated 2/21/08 10:57:49 AM, Lloyd writes:
Hey Pete –
Thanks for getting back to us so quick.
Yeah, I think having the wedding in cyberspace kinda kills the wedding. Instead of having the ceremony be about April and Casey (about character), it turns the whole thing into a videogame. And cyberspace has been such a dangerous, pain-in-the-ass place for the Turtles and Splinter that I don’t see anyone being all that anxious to get back there (except maybe Don, but that would be for scientific study). And after all the time we’ve spent trying to portray the process of going in and out of cyberspace as something dangerous, having the wedding there suddenly makes the whole thing feel very casual.
We’ll muscle out something else.
Thanks Pete.
Lloyd
Lloyd,
Your points are well taken, and I agree with them. My only reason for suggesting the wedding-in-cyberspace thing was to make the Splinter-out-of-Shredder thing doable without a lot of mental torture and twisting ourselves into logical (or would that be illogical?) pretzels to make it work. Then, to try to come up with a rationale for WHY the characters might do such a thing, I thought it would be a simple way for all of them to gather without being seen... and April could have any kind of fantasy wedding setting that she wanted.
But it's probably best not to go there.
-- Pete
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Subj: Re: TMNT165SuperPowerStruggleDr1
Date: Monday, February 25, 2008 11:59:19 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
P. Laird comments on Ep. 165 Super Power Struggle first draft
1.) Re: the following:
"But Mechazoid spins around … and <BLASTS> Green Mantle with a powerful lightening bolt… <BRRRZAAPT!>…
THE GREEN MANTLE
ARRRRRGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
… that sends him REELING UP and out of picture… and his EMERALD GREEN CAPE fluttering down towards the earth…"
I'm not really sure what is happening here. Has Green Mantle been destroyed? Why has his cape taken this particular moment to fall off?
2.) Re: the following:
"MIKEY
Whoa! Widen your lens, quick draw! Those aren’t super baddies…
ANGLE STREET LEVEL CU ON our “menacing super villains.” Only now, it’s quite apparent that their clad in homemade costumes. Seams are visible, as are pot-bellies, glasses and digital calculator watches to boot. They stop at a TICKET BOOTH.
MIKEY
… they’re geeks!"
Would it be better if Mike said "... they're SUPER geeks!"?
3.) Re: the following:
" FASTIDIOUS MAN
I found it when I was a little kid – right after it fell from the sky. I did what any nine year old boy would do, of course. <Beat> I had it slabbed and graded! That cape hasn’t been out of its air-tight case in forty years."
I'm not sure I'm buying this. Wouldn't a kid have at least tried on the cape... especially as (apparently) this kid KNEW what it was?
4.) Re: the following:
" STAINLESS STEVE STEEL (VO)
But it looks like you’ve picked up his mantle, son!
ZIPPY LAD
And it suits ya! How about it, kid? You up for being the NEW Green Mantle?
Raph shrugs.
GM RAPH
Sure, why not. I ain’t got nothin’ better ta do!"
Raph's response here seems too blase. Perhaps something else to explain why he would want to keep wearing the cape... for example, is he getting off on having super powers?
-- Peter
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Subj: Re: TMNT166WeddingBellsandBytesOUT
Date: Monday, February 25, 2008 9:35:55 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Matt at 4Kids
In a message dated 2/25/08 2:32:11 PM, Matt writes:
Hi Pete,
Thanks for going back and forth with us on the TMNT season finale, “Wedding Bells and Bytes.”
At this point, I think we’re going to go with your original suggestion that, in an earlier episode, the Cyber Shredder plants a kind of tracking device inside one of Splinter’s data bits that activates once it enters into the real world. Then, when the Turtles and Splinter head up to Casey’s Grandma’s farmhouse for the wedding, the Shredder and company will be right on their tail and ready to crash the festivities - should be a really fun way to end the 13 part arc.
Again, thanks for your patience!
Matt
Matt,
Thanks for letting me know. I appreciate all your hard work on this one. Well, actually, on ALL of them!
-- Peter
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