Blast from the Past #543: April 2, 2007: Re: TMNT151 Outline and Re: TMNT 148 ThirdDraft

Subj: Re: TMNT151 Outline
Date: Monday, April 2, 2007 12:56:48 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

notes on Ep. 150 outline "Space Usagi"


1.) Re: the following:

"Cloaked Figure (Darius Dunn): “… for you to fulfill your destinies … the very reason of your existence…”"

Shouldn't that be "for your existence"?


2.) Re: the following:

"Inside, two honorable warriors, Leonardo and Space Usagi, are preparing for a duel overseen by Splinter.  The others are watching and Rhogen is “taking bets on Ears versus Shell-boy.”

The duel begins and Leonardo and Space Usagi match steel."

Just wondering -- should they be dueling with their real swords, or with something like bokken (wooden practice swords)?


3.) Re: the following:

"Space Usagi is a little stunned: “I don’t have any enemies in this dimension.”

A minor point -- but can Space Usagi REALLY be sure he doesn't have any enemies in this dimension? It IS a big dimension, after all. Maybe he could say "any enemies that I know of".


4.) Re: the following:

"Leonardo asks Space Usagi get himself and his crew off the ship.  They’re in harms way!  “These Mech Turtles are after us.  I can’t, in good conscious, allow you guys to get hurt because of us.”"

I think that should be "conscience" instead of "conscious".


5.) Re: the following:

"As the Mech Turtles and Mech-Darius burst into the room, Rhogen decides on a different plan.  “Seeing as we really can’t beat these guys in a fight and since this isn’t my fight anyway, how about we just give the turtles to these guys and call it a day.”


In a stunning turn of events, Rhogen double blasts/shoots Donatello and Michelangelo with his pair of high-tech, funky-looking laser pistols.  Don and Mikey go down hard!"

Just curious -- assuming that Rhogen is a character Stan Sakai created and used in the "Space Usagi" comic, does this action fit his character?


6.) Re: the following:

"We hold on our “dead” heroes for a moment before Mikey starts to twitch.  He gets up all groggy as does Rhogen, Raph and Donatello.  It was a fake out to get momentarily free of the Mech Turtles.  The laser pistols were set on STUN."

Okay, I guess this makes the issue I brought up in point 5 above somewhat moot. However, this "plan" seems more than a little weak, and is predicated on the presumption that if a Turtle looks "dead" (and "dead" in this case would look a lot like "unconscious"), then the Mech Turtles will ignore him and move on. Not sure I buy that.


7.) Re: the name "Space Usagi": It might behoove us to contact Stan and ask him if he has any other way he would like us to refer to this Usagi of the future. Although I have no problem with "Space Usagi", it does have more of a feeling of a descriptive phrase than a real name.
Perhaps one way to use it and not have it sound odd would be to have some more confusion when they first meet Space Usagi -- i.e., he looks exactly like his illustrious ancestor, Miyamoto Usagi, and even shares that same name -- so to keep the two different Usagi's straight, Mike decides (as in this outline) to refer to him as "Space Usagi".


-- Pete

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Subj: Re: TMNT 148 ThirdDraft
Date: Monday, April 2, 2007 1:27:41 PM
From: Peter Laird
To:   Lloyd Goldfine

notes on Ep. 148 third draft


1.) Re: the following:

"UNSEEN BY BIGGLES - ON A TECHNICIAN – at his console as a HAND <PHASES> up through the console, grabs his face and <SLAMS> him into the machine!
BIGGLES
Chaps at the station love that one!
THE OTHER TECHNICIAN – turns to see his man down, but before he can speak, HANDS reach out from the wall and cover his mouth, yanking him through the wall!"

I'm trying to remember if we have ever shown any of the Phantoms or Jammerhead himself displaying this power -- to "phase" other people. I'm also not clear why he takes out one technician by knocking him out and the other by phasing him somewhere. What's the point?


2.) Re: the following:

"JAMMERHEAD
Now, where do you keep the popcorn in this dump, robot..?"

How about "robochump" instead of just "robot"?


3.) Re: the following:

"LEO
Then that’s where we’re headed.  Whatever has caused Biggles to go haywire must’ve started at O’Neil Tech."

I think Leo should say "must have" instead of "must've".


4.) Re: the following:

"*LEO NODS, MIKEY <SHOOTS> HIS chucks—
FOLLOW THE CHUCK AT A DOWNWARD ANGLE where it <LOCKS> onto the O’Neiltech building, just below a VENTILATION GRATE.
ACROSS THE STREET – Mikey LOCKS the other end of the Chucks to the building. Raph scoops Cody onto his back.
The guys run single file and LEAP—FOLLOW THEIR FEET as they land on the CABLE and begin to SLIDE…
**WIDE - THEY SURF down the chuck cable as PK’s patrol beneath, unaware…
EXT. O’NEILTECH - CONTINUOUS
LEO draws his Katanas, <POWERING THEM UP> and at the last second he leaps –
FLASH OF <KATANAS SLICING>!
ANGLE – Leo’s sliced open the GRATE in a perfect circle! Leo leaps through first, followed by Don and Splinter—
INT. O’NEILTECH. VENTILLATION SHAFT - CONTINUOUS
Cody rolls through, followed by RAPH and MIKEY, who grabs the CHUCKS and retracts them just as PKS fly by…"

Just wondering -- how is it that Cody and the Turtles can break into O'Neil Tech so easily? What happened to the security systems? Or does Cody have something on him that allows them to bypass the security?


5.) Re: the following:

"A simple room with a HOLOGRAPHIC HEIGHT CHART in the BG. RAPID SERIES OF MUG SHOTS as… LEO is SCANNED by a lazer… <FLASH!>"

A "lazer" -- is that like a "laser"?


6.) It seems a little odd that Biggles is able to so easily capture and imprison the Turtles, simply by showing up with a bunch of Peacekeepers. Or is there more to their capture than that?


7.) Re: the following:

**BIGGLES
He <zzzzt> can’t do <ZZZZT> lethal that-!"

That's kind of weird.


8.) Re: the following:

"BIGGLES
Jammerhead and his “Street Urchins” or whatever they’re called DID mess about with my programming…"

Odd that Biggles wouldn't know what Jammerhead's minions are called.


-- Pete