Subj: Re: Show 121 ("Headlock Prime") Second Draft
Date: Tuesday, August 23, 2005 12:03:45 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
Here are my two notes on Ep121 second draft.
1.) Re: the following:
"* DONATELLO
Upgrading as we speak! The “grunt to crack ratio” on the battle-bots is off. "
"Grunt to crack ratio" seems like a very weird turn of phrase -- I don't know what it means.
2.) Re: the following:
"* LEO – is sent FLYING backwards across the Square. He knocks over a FIRE HYDRANT before SLAMMING into a wall. A spectacular GUYSER of water sprays into the night sky."
Unless they make them flimsier in the future, fire hydrants are pretty sturdy things -- slamming into one hard enough to knock it over could cause some serious damage to oneself. As this erupting geyser doesn't play any part in the ensuing action, I'd prefer to replace it with some other bit of action. Here's an idea -- maybe Leo smashes into a stand or kiosk selling some kind of futuristic sweets, and he grabs one of them and uses it to try to distract Psycho head (it works, but not for very long before Triple Threat flings Leo into the electronic sign).
-- Peter
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Subj: Re: TMNT Season 6 Design
Date: Wednesday, August 24, 2005 11:37:33 AM
From: Peter Laird
To: Jonathan
In a message dated 8/23/05 7:51:25 PM, Jonathan writes:
"Peter,
Please find attached a newly revised cleaned-up turtles. The reason for this is that it has come to our attention that the belt resembles the Superman logo. It was therefore suggested that we make the buckle in the shape of the turtle shell. We will be attaching along with the four turtles the reference that we used for the buckle. Please note no other item on the turtles has been altered since the last approval other than the belt.
In addition, we are also sending a cleaned version of Serling with a new head based on your drawings. There are two designs: one front view and one with expressions.
1. Leo
2. Mikey
3. Don
4. Raphael
5. Belt buckle reference
6. Revised Serling
7. Serling Expressions
If you could let us know what you think of these models at your earliest convenience, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you,
~Jonathan"
I think these are all fine.
This may be too goofy, but... when I was looking at the shape of the new belt buckle, and wondering if it might be better with more interesting detail or shape (probably not), it occurred to me that it might be fun to have a new shape to the Shell Cel (if we are going to have that device in the "future Turtles" season). Imagine something like that belt buckle shape, slightly rounded and shell textured as the back of the Shell Cel. When it activates, a "head" and four "legs" pop out of the "shell" in the correct locations, i.e. as the head and legs of a real Turtle would. The "head" and "legs" would be slightly stylized, and when you turn the device over to use it, you would see that these pieces were functional elements of the Shell Cel design (the head could be the ear piece, the legs could be diffent buttons/antenna, etc.). Just thought it might be a fun little visual gag.
Ooh... just has another thought. It might be fun if the "legs" actually served a SECOND purpose... as LEGS! I could imagine a scenario where one of the Turtles sets down his Shell Cel on a table and walks off... his Shell Cel rings, he doesn't answer it, and the Shell Cell goes into "tracking" mode where it extends its "legs" and "head" and actually WALKS (somewhat slowly) off in seach of its owner.
Okay, I'm done now.
-- Peter
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Subj: Re: TMNT Show 125 ("Clash of the Turtle Titans") Outline
Date: Wednesday, August 24, 2005 12:41:59 PM
From: Peter Laird
To: Lloyd Goldfine
Lloyd,
Here are my notes on the Ep125 outline.
1.) Re: the following:
"Suddenly, the answer is staring the other two right in the face. It's a big Kirby-esque splash panel of DR. MALIGNUS smashing his way out of a bank, holding up stacks of gold bars and huge sacks of cash with dollar signs on them. Nasty Head realizes they can make money AND break stuff... by becoming a super villain, just like in the comics. Level Head insists you don't just become a super villain overnight. It takes brains, planning, research…but a two-to-one vote overrules Level head, and…
CUT TO BRAKKO'S - In a QUICK MONTAGE, we see Triple Threat seeking out career advice from other bad guys hanging out in the bar: JAMMERHEAD advises them to always project a sense of style and showmanship. VIRAL (in her robot body) advises them to always have an escape plan, lest they end up in an unwanted body. TORBIN ZIIX advises them to retain an air of mystery. All three advise Triple Threat to avoid the color green."
While the montage bit is kind of fun, it's also a little off, for two reasons that I can see:
a.) In the first paragraph, Level Head's "brains, planning, research" idea is overruled by the other two heads... but then we see Triple Threat doing just what Level Head wanted by going to the bar and getting advice from other villains. Seems contradictory.
b.) While I can see Jammerhead and Torbin Ziix being in the bar, it seems odd that Viral would be there too. Perhaps the montage could be a montage of different PLACES, too, so that not everyone is at the same bar or place.
2.) Re: the following:
"Biggles: "Right, what's all this then? Who's been mucking about with my Turtle Signal?"
Mikey: "YOUR Turtle Signal?! I thought you said Turtle Titan was a grandstanding gloryhound vigilante."
Biggles: "That's right. A grandstanding gloryhound vigilante who happens to make my job much easier.""
For a couple of reasons -- one being that the "new" Turtle Titan apparently (from his earlier description) doesn't LOOK like a Turtle -- I think calling this thing a "Turtle Signal" is a little too silly. Perhaps "Titan Signal" would be better.
3.) Re: the following:
"In the rink (which looks sweeeeet in the future!) their graviton regulators are rendered useless, and everyone is left weightless! With Triple Threat's weight advantage now gone, Mikey and Turtle Titan acrobatically knock him all over the rink in a low grav smackdown. Working together, they eventually boot Triple Threat out of the rink, where the crushing reality of his own girth knocks him down for the count! "
"The crushing reality of his own girth" is a very interesting, albeit somewhat obscure, turn of phrase. Just so I understand what is meant -- you're saying when he goes outside the antigrav area, his weight comes back and he hits the ground HARD, right?
4.) Re: the following:
"Turtle Titan removes his mask, revealing a somewhat familiar looking African American face.
Turtle Titan: "I think you knew him. His name was Silver Sentry."
Mikey is shocked. Turtle Titan explains that he inherited his grandfather's passion for justice, but unfortunately not his super powers. He was so inspired by his grandfather's stories of the Turtle Titan fighting crime without any super powers that he wanted to carry on that hero's legacy. "
This is cool. I wonder if -- depending on whether this Turtle TItan will be making another appearance or two in this season 6 -- it might be fun to somehow give this descendant of Silver Sentry some of his grandfather's super powers. Maybe the genes that would have given him the powers are somehow "blocked" or inactive, and through some plot device they become viable -- maybe through some work by Don, or maybe even a supervillain who wants to turn Turtle Titan into a super-powered pawn.
-- Peter
P.S. FYI -- I will be leaving tomorrow (Thursday the 25th) for a four-day comic book convention. I will try to keep up with stuff, but it may have to wait until I get back.
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